Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar/word choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and incorrect prepositions/determiners (e.g., “such an high altitude”, “say by the window”).

例: I prefer to sit by the window when I travel. For example, on planes I enjoy watching the clouds and the tiny houses below because the view is calming and interesting. Also, sitting by the window helps me feel relaxed during long journeys.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and add a specific detail or brief anecdote. Correct awkward phrasing (“felt beautiful” and “views underneath”) and use linking words to show sequence (e.g., “at first… then…”). Keep it to 2–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I had a memorable long journey to Vizag with my family when I was a child. It was my first time flying, so I was nervous at first, but then I relaxed when I saw the spectacular landscape below. The experience made the trip very special for me.

× 'the small houses that look so beautiful from such an high altitude.'

✓ 'the small houses that look so beautiful from such a high altitude.'

'An' is used before vowel sounds; "high" begins with a consonant sound so the correct article is "a." This is an article choice related to singular/plural context and countable noun phrase construction. Suggestion: use "a" before consonant sounds and "an" before vowel sounds.'

× 'I like to observe the nature while I am travelling, especially when I am on the plane.'

✓ 'I like to observe nature while I am travelling, especially when I am on a plane.'

'Nature' is an uncountable noun and does not usually take the definite article here; remove "the." Also, use the indefinite article "a" with "plane" when referring to being on any plane in general. Suggestion: omit "the" before uncountable nouns when speaking generally and use "a/an" for one nonspecific item.'

× 'so I definitely prefer to say by the window.'

✓ 'so I definitely prefer to sit by the window.'

'Prefer to say' is incorrect collocation; the correct verb for choosing a seat is "sit." The subject-verb agreement itself is fine but the verb choice creates an ungrammatical sentence. Suggestion: use verbs that collocate with the intended action, e.g., "sit by the window."'} ,{