Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating preference, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct basic grammar (e.g., verb forms, articles, pronouns). Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘bored’, ‘scenery’, ‘comfortable’, ‘relaxed’).

例: Yes, I usually prefer to sit by the window when I travel. For one thing, I enjoy looking at the scenery, such as buildings and countryside, which helps me feel less bored. Also, sitting by the window makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed during the journey.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear past-tense topic sentence and two brief specific details (when, where, who, what you enjoyed). Use correct past tense forms and avoid repetition. Use linking words like ‘then’ or ‘after that’ to sequence events. Be concise and choose clearer vocabulary for emotions (e.g., ‘memorable’, ‘fun’).

例: Yes, I had a long family trip when I was a child. Last year my family drove to Amritsar: my parents, my uncle and aunt and I travelled together. We enjoyed visiting the Golden Temple and trying local food, which made the trip very memorable for me.

× Well definitely yes I sit side the window because this way I not feel bad and boring and I also see the lot of buildings and cities which feels merely and I also feel comfortable at that time and travel with journey and successfully reach on the destination.

✓ Well, definitely yes. I sit by the window because this way I do not feel bad or bored, and I can also see a lot of buildings and cities which feel interesting. I also feel comfortable while traveling and usually arrive at the destination safely.

Errors involved third person singular and other related verb forms (ID 2) and subject-verb agreement (ID 27), as well as incorrect use of prepositions and verb forms. Specific issues: 'I sit side the window' uses wrong preposition and word order (use 'by the window'); 'I not feel' requires auxiliary 'do not' for negative present simple; 'boring' should be 'bored' to describe the speaker's feeling; 'I also see the lot of' should be 'I can also see a lot of' (add modal 'can' for ability and correct article/quantifier); 'which feels merely' is ungrammatical—replace with 'which feel interesting' to agree in number with 'buildings and cities' and use appropriate adjective; 'at that time and travel with journey and successfully reach on the destination' contains many errors: use 'while traveling' (verb + -ing for ongoing action), 'usually arrive at the destination safely' (correct verb, preposition 'at', adverb 'safely'). Suggestions: use correct prepositions ('by', 'at'), include auxiliaries for negatives ('do not'), match adjective forms to subject ('bored' for feelings), ensure subject-verb agreement (plural subject 'buildings and cities' needs plural verb 'feel'), and simplify complex ideas into clear clauses.

× I remember last month last year my family planned a trip to Go Amritzer and then my father book a car and my cha chaji and chaChaji and I also me and my mother and father go to this journey and also enjoy the feelings with them and this trip is very good for me and this is the last group which fills me

✓ I remember that last year my family planned a trip to Amritsar. My father booked a car, and my relatives, my mother, my father and I went on the trip. We all enjoyed it, and the trip was very good for me; it left me with happy memories.

The primary issue is past tense usage (ID 5): verbs describing past events must be in the past form ('planned', 'booked', 'went', 'enjoyed', 'was', 'left'). Also note subject-verb agreement and sentence structure problems (ID 27 and ID 26) and incorrect pronoun usage/redundancy (ID 12). Specific corrections: 'last month last year' is confused—choose 'last year' or a clear time expression; 'book' should be past 'booked'; 'go to this journey' should be 'went on the trip'; 'also enjoy the feelings with them' should be 'we all enjoyed it' or 'I enjoyed spending time with them'; 'this trip is very good for me' becomes 'the trip was very good for me' to match past tense; 'this is the last group which fills me' is unclear—interpreted as 'it left me with happy memories'. Suggestions: use consistent past tense for events that happened in the past, avoid redundant or unclear phrases, fix pronoun references (list participants clearly), and simplify sentences into smaller clauses for clarity.