Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and pronunciation, make the response more concise and natural, and add a linking phrase for coherence. Specifically, use correct verb tense and smoother phrasing (e.g., 'I usually prefer' or 'I prefer'). Keep it within 2–3 sentences: give a clear topic sentence then one supporting detail. Avoid filler words and incorrect forms like 'previous' for 'prefer' or 'go through the way'.

例: I usually prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy looking at the scenery. Also, I find it relaxing to rest my head against the window and watch the landscape pass by.

提案: Correct small grammar and number expressions, tighten the structure, and add one specific detail to enrich the answer. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add connected supporting details using linking words like 'usually' or 'often'. Replace vague phrases ('4 until five hours') with clear expressions ('four to five hours').

例: Yes, I often took long journeys with my family to my father’s hometown. It’s about four to five hours away, so we usually traveled by car or sometimes by train, and I remember enjoying the scenery and family conversations during the trip.

× Yes, I previous sit by the window when traveling 'cause I love to see the scenery when I go through the way in my traveling time and it's really enjoyable if I can lay my head to the window to take a bit of rest.

✓ Yes, I previously sit by the window when traveling because I love to see the scenery when I travel, and it's really enjoyable if I can lay my head on the window to rest for a bit.

Multiple issues: 'previous' is incorrect form; should be the adverb 'previously' (Grammar Problem Type 13 - incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). 'Cause' is informal; use 'because' (26 - sentence structure / register). 'When I go through the way in my traveling time' is awkward and uses incorrect verb tense and phrasing; replace with 'when I travel' (6 - present tense issue / 26 structure). 'Lay my head to the window' is incorrect preposition and verb form; 'lay' vs 'lie' distinction aside, common phrasing is 'rest my head on the window' (11 - incorrect use of prepositions and 8/9 verb form issues). Suggestions: use 'previously' for past adverb if you mean previously habitually, or 'usually' if you mean habitual preference; use 'because' for clarity; simplify 'when I travel'; use 'rest my head on the window' or 'lean my head against the window'. Ensure subject-verb consistency and natural collocations.

× Yes, I did have a long journey with my family as a child, usually to my father's hometown.

✓ Yes, I had long journeys with my family as a child, usually to my father's hometown.

Redundant use of auxiliary 'did' with simple past affirmative sentence is unnecessary (5 - past tense issue). Also 'a long journey' suggests singular; if trips happened repeatedly as a child, plural 'long journeys' is more natural (1 - singular and plural issue). Suggestion: use 'I had' or if emphasizing, 'I did have' could be used in contrastive contexts, but here simple past 'I had' is preferred. Use plural if referring to repeated trips.

× It is located 4 until five hours from my house, so we usually took a car or sometimes the train to get there and it's really great.

✓ It is located four to five hours from my house, so we usually took a car or sometimes the train to get there, and it was really great.

'4 until five hours' is incorrect expression for duration; use 'four to five hours' (11 - incorrect use of prepositions/expressions and 14 - quantifier format). Numerals should be written as words in speech but here 'four to five hours' is correct. Also maintain past tense consistency: 'it's really great' should be 'it was really great' because the rest of the sentence refers to past events (5 - past tense issue). Suggestion: use 'four to five hours' for approximate duration and keep verb tenses consistent (use past tense 'was' and 'we usually took').