Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Focus on natural vocabulary (e.g., scenery, clouds, takeoff/landing) and correct verb forms. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually prefer a window seat because I enjoy the scenery and find it relaxing. For example, I like watching clouds and landscapes during takeoff and landing, which makes the journey more enjoyable.

提案: Answer the question directly with a topic sentence about whether you had long journeys, then give specific supporting details (where you went, who you traveled with, memorable activities) using linking words. Use correct tense (past) and accurate nouns (e.g., traditions, temples, local food). Keep responses clear and under five sentences.

例: Yes, I often took long trips with my family when I was a child, especially to Hanoi. We visited temples, tried local traditional foods, and learned about regional customs, which I found fascinating and refreshing.

× Yeah, I'm really prefer to sit by the window when I'm traveling.

✓ Yeah, I really prefer to sit by the window when I'm traveling.

Uses 'I'm really prefer' which incorrectly combines present continuous 'I'm' with the simple present verb 'prefer'. Use simple present 'I prefer' (or 'I really prefer') to express habitual preference. Suggestion: remove 'am' when using stative verbs like 'prefer'.

× It's it's like when when you see this guy, this guy very like rival and fascinating.

✓ It's like when you see something very exciting and fascinating.

Sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical: duplicated words ('it's it's', 'when when', 'this guy, this guy') and incorrect adjective use ('very like rival'). Rephrase to convey intended meaning. Suggestion: remove duplicates, replace 'this guy' with appropriate noun ('something' or 'a plane'), and use adjectives correctly ('exciting and fascinating').

× Uh, obviously you can see like another plan of flying nearby.

✓ Obviously you can see another plane flying nearby.

Uses incorrect preposition/phrase 'plan of flying' and unnecessary filler words. 'Plane' is the correct noun; 'flying nearby' correctly describes its action and position. Suggestion: use concise structure 'another plane flying nearby'.

× Not too nearly, but let's have a little bit forward to.

✓ Not too near, but it's a little bit ahead.

Phrases 'too nearly' and 'have a little bit forward to' are incorrect. Use 'near' instead of 'nearly' when describing distance; 'ahead' or 'in front' describes position. Suggestion: say 'not too near' or 'a little bit ahead'.

× Yeah, I have a lot like Hanoi and dialect, you know,

✓ Yeah, I have been to Hanoi many times and I like the dialect, you know,

Original mixes ideas and tenses. 'I have a lot like Hanoi' is ungrammatical. If meaning is visiting, use present perfect 'I have been to Hanoi many times'; if meaning liking, use 'I like Hanoi'. Clarify and separate visiting and liking. Suggestion: use 'have been to' for experiences and 'like' for preferences.

× Yeah, there's have a lot of traditionals, uh, traditional food and some, uh, conventional religions,

✓ There are a lot of traditional foods and some conventional religions,

Uses incorrect structure 'there's have' and wrong pluralization 'traditional' for a countable noun. Use 'There are' for plural subjects and plural nouns 'traditional foods'. Suggestion: 'There are a lot of traditional foods'.

× which is, which is very, uh, respect, uh, respective and, uh, refreshings when I go there, there is a little.

✓ which are very respected, respective, and refreshing when I go there.

Multiple issues: agreement between 'which' and plural 'foods/religions' requires 'are'; 'respect' is a noun, use 'respected' as adjective; 'respective' may be incorrect in context but kept; 'refreshings' should be adjective 'refreshing'. Also last fragment 'there is a little' is incomplete and unclear. Suggestion: revise to 'which are very respected and refreshing when I go there' and remove unclear fragment.