Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and incorrect words (e.g. 'the view of the out of the car' → 'the view outside the car', 'Washington sickness' → 'motion sickness'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by car or bus. I do this because I get motion sickness if I focus on a screen, so looking at the distant scenery helps me feel better. I especially enjoy watching landscapes such as fields and city skylines.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear main sentence and specific examples. Correct tense and article use (e.g. 'when I see beautiful views', 'Mount Fuji is one of my favorite mountains'). Avoid repeating words like 'favorite' or 'famous'. Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'especially' to introduce examples. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window. For example, I enjoy photographing mountains—Mount Fuji is one of my favorite mountains—and beautiful seascapes. I especially like capturing sunsets over the sea because the colors are very striking.

提案: Give a direct answer, then two specific reasons connected with linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. 'the sound of the waves', 'watching the sunset at sea'). Avoid repeating the conclusion. Keep the response to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer the sea. I like the sound of the waves and I enjoy watching sunsets over the water, which I find very relaxing. Mountains are beautiful too, but the sea feels more peaceful to me.

× I love to look the view of the out of the car or the bus, but otherwise you have a motion sickness when I'm looking at the TV.

✓ I love to look at the view outside the car or the bus, but I get motion sickness when I look at the TV.

Incorrect prepositions and word order: 'look the view' should be 'look at the view'; 'of the out of the car' is incorrect—use 'outside the car'. 'Otherwise you have a motion sickness when I'm looking at the TV' mixes pronouns and articles incorrectly; change to 'I get motion sickness when I look at the TV' to match the speaker and use the uncountable noun 'motion sickness' without 'a'. Improve by using correct prepositions ('look at', 'outside') and consistent subject pronouns.

× So to cover up the Washington sickness, I always watch the outside and try to having fun with the view.

✓ So to cover up the motion sickness, I always watch outside and try to have fun with the view.

Incorrect pronoun/word usage and verb form: 'Washington sickness' is incorrect word choice—should be 'motion sickness'. 'Watch the outside' is awkward; 'watch outside' or 'look outside' is natural. 'Try to having fun' uses incorrect verb form after 'try to'—use the base form 'have'. Improve by choosing correct vocabulary ('motion sickness') and using the infinitive after 'try to'.

× Yes of course I always take the photos when I saw the beautiful views like mountain or like Mount Fuji is one of my favorite fav famous mountain in Japan and also I always take a photo beautiful sea.

✓ Yes, of course I always take photos when I see beautiful views, like mountains; Mount Fuji is one of my favorite famous mountains in Japan, and I also always take photos of the beautiful sea.

Tense inconsistency and pluralization: 'when I saw' (past) should be present 'when I see' to match habitual action 'I always take photos'. Use plural nouns for general references: 'mountains', 'mountains in Japan'. 'Favorite fav famous' contains repetition; use 'favorite' and 'famous' appropriately. Also use 'photos of the beautiful sea' for correct preposition. Improve by keeping present tense for habitual actions and using correct plural forms and prepositions.

× Yes I love to take a picture the view.

✓ Yes, I love to take pictures of the view.

Incorrect article and noun form: 'take a picture the view' misses preposition 'of' and singular/plural mismatch. For general habit, plural 'pictures' is natural and 'of the view' is required. Improve by adding 'of' and using plural 'pictures' for habitual actions.

× I prefer sea, of course I love mountains, but I prefer sea because I love the sound of the wave and I love the sunset when I watch and at sea.

✓ I prefer the sea. Of course I love mountains, but I prefer the sea because I love the sound of the waves and I love the sunset when I am at sea.

Article and plural errors: 'prefer sea' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to the sea in general. 'Sound of the wave' should be plural 'waves' for general reference. 'When I watch and at sea' is ungrammatical; use 'when I am at sea' or 'when I watch the sunset at sea'. Maintain correct verb 'am' for location. Improve by adding definite article 'the', pluralizing 'waves', and using correct verb phrase for location.

× So I prefer sea, the mountain.

✓ So I prefer the sea to the mountains.

Awkward and incomplete comparative structure: 'So I prefer sea, the mountain' fails to use the comparative structure 'prefer A to B'. Also missing articles and pluralization. Correct form is 'I prefer the sea to the mountains.' Improve by using 'prefer X to Y' and proper articles and plural forms.