Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần rõ ràng hơn, ngữ pháp chính xác và mạch lạc. Tránh thông tin thừa (ví dụ "exclude the time and sleep and relax" không rõ nghĩa) và sửa lỗi động từ/giới từ. Dùng câu chủ đề ngắn rồi đưa 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể kèm liên từ để mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when travelling by bus or car. If the journey is long, I enjoy watching the countryside and local life, such as people working in fields or small villages passing by. This helps me relax and notice interesting details along the route.

提案: Câu trả lời đúng hướng nhưng cần dùng từ chính xác và cấu trúc tự nhiên hơn. Tránh lỗi phát âm/viết như "specials situations"; dùng liên từ để nối ý (e.g. "but", "so"). Bổ sung một ví dụ cụ thể về kiểu cảnh bạn chụp để tăng tính sinh động.

例: It depends on the view. If it is ordinary traffic I usually just look, but if I see something unusual—like a dramatic sunset or a traditional festival—I will take a photo to share with my parents and younger brother.

提案: Nội dung lộn xộn, nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không phù hợp (ví dụ "see" vs "sea", "works along the coastline"). Cần câu chủ đề rõ ràng: nêu sở thích, lý do chính, và 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể. Tránh lời nói ngập ngừng và sửa ngữ pháp như dùng danh từ/động từ đúng (watch sunsets, walk along the coastline).

例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I enjoy watching sunsets and walking along the coastline. The beach atmosphere relaxes me more, and I like activities such as swimming and collecting shells.

× You know the time we went to this destination is very long.

✓ You know, the time it takes to get to this destination is very long.

The original sentence has unclear structure and missing subject for the clause about duration; replace 'the time we went to this destination is very long' with 'the time it takes to get to this destination is very long' to express duration correctly.

× It's just take about two hours for or more.

✓ It just takes about two hours or more.

Incorrect verb form and extra word 'for'. Use third-person singular present 'takes' to match 'it' and remove 'for'.

× So exclude the time and sleep and relax.

✓ So excluding travel time, I sleep and relax.

Original fragment 'So exclude the time' is unclear; change to a gerund phrase 'excluding travel time' and add subject and verbs 'I sleep and relax' to form a complete sentence.

× I will look out the windows and enjoying the beautiful sceneries or the human activities like that.

✓ I will look out the windows and enjoy the beautiful scenery and people-watching.

After 'will' use base verb 'enjoy' not '-ing' form. 'Scenery' is uncountable (not 'sceneries') and 'people-watching' is a clearer expression than 'the human activities like that'.

× Well it depends on the landscape.

✓ Well, it depends on the landscape.

Add a comma after 'Well' for natural speech; sentence is otherwise acceptable present tense.

× For example if it's just some transport move or something like that, I just look out the window.

✓ For example, if it's just some passing traffic or something like that, I just look out the window.

'Transport move' is incorrect phrase; use 'passing traffic'. Add comma after 'For example'. Verb forms are fine.

× However, if I see the specials situations I will capture it and show for my parents or my younger brother.

✓ However, if I see a special situation I will capture it and show it to my parents or my younger brother.

Use singular 'a special situation' or plural consistently; 'specials situations' is wrong. Include 'it' after 'show' and use preposition 'to' (show it to someone).

× The sea, while I prefer them see to the mountain, this is speakers.

✓ I prefer the sea to the mountains.

Original is ungrammatical and confusing. Use simple comparative 'prefer the sea to the mountains'. 'Them see' and 'this is speakers' are incorrect fragments.

× The fruit in the mountain is very hard to eat.

✓ The fruit in the mountains is hard to eat.

Use plural 'mountains' for general location and 'hard' is sufficient; 'very hard to eat' can be kept but 'hard to eat' is more natural.

× Like it's not suitable for me.

✓ It's not suitable for me.

Remove filler 'Like' at sentence start in formal correction; sentence otherwise fine.

× So I prefer to see because I can, uh, watch the sunsets or works along the coastline, which the my favorite activities.

✓ So I prefer it because I can watch the sunsets or walk along the coastline, which are my favorite activities.

'Prefer to see' is awkward; use 'prefer it'. Remove filler 'uh'. 'Works' is incorrect; likely 'walk'. Use plural verb 'are' to agree with plural noun 'activities' and fix 'the my' to 'my'.