Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Shorten and clarify your topic sentence, avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., "come and relax my mental health"). Add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out the window when travelling by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching changing city skylines and green fields, which makes long journeys feel shorter.

提案: Be careful with grammar and word choice (e.g., "interested build building"). Use a clear linking phrase and give one specific example. Keep sentences concise and correct plural/singular forms.

例: Yes, I usually take photos to remember the trip. For example, I often photograph dramatic mountain ridges or historic buildings that catch my eye.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (e.g., "I prefer the sea a little more"). Use linking words to list reasons and give specific, accurate details. Avoid vague phrases like "so much more."

例: I prefer the sea a little more because I love the turquoise water and the vibrant coral reefs. Additionally, I enjoy swimming and watching marine life during coastal trips.

× Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because it is a great way to come and relax my mental health.

✓ Yes, I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because it is a great way to calm and relax my mind.

Grammar problem type ID:26 Sentence structure errors and ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs. The phrase 'come and relax my mental health' is ungrammatical and uses 'come' incorrectly. 'Mental health' is not normally 'relaxed'; we say 'calm' or 'relax my mind.' Correct phrasing: 'calm and relax my mind.' Suggestion: replace 'come and relax my mental health' with 'calm and relax my mind' or 'improve my mental well-being.'

× Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window to keep as memories of the trip.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window to keep as memories of the trip.

No grammar problem from the provided list applies; sentence is correct. It matches tense and structure, so no change is needed.

× Like for example I like to photograph nice landscapes and interested build building when I am traveling.

✓ For example, I like to photograph nice landscapes and interesting buildings when I am traveling.

Grammar problem type ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions (the leading 'Like for example' is redundant) and ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs ('interested build building' is incorrect). The adjective 'interested' is wrong here; use 'interesting' to describe buildings. Also 'build building' is garbled; use 'buildings.' Suggestion: start with 'For example,' and use 'interesting buildings.'

× I love both but I prefer see a little more because of the turquoise color, a great coral reefs and so much more.

✓ I love both, but I prefer the sea a little more because of the turquoise color, the great coral reefs, and so much more.

Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue and ID:22 Article errors. 'Prefer see' is ungrammatical; after 'prefer' we need either 'to see' or a noun: 'prefer the sea' is correct. Also missing definite articles: 'a great coral reefs' is incorrect—use 'the great coral reefs' or 'great coral reefs' with plural agreement. Suggestion: say 'I prefer the sea a little more' and include commas and correct articles.