Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答总体清晰，但存在重复、语法和用词不准确的问题。提高建议： 1) 开头直接给出主题句并简洁说明频率或原因，避免冗余。例："Yes, I often do because…"。 2) 使用连接词让句子更连贯，例如“for example / especially / also”。 3) 注意语法和词汇搭配，如“feel comfortable”而不是“feel more comfort comfortable”，以及避免重复词（例如两次使用“all about”或重复“in”）。 4) 控制长度在3-4句内，句子间加细节但不要累赘。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, in the city I enjoy watching the architecture and busy streets, while in parks I like to see trees and green spaces. These views make the journey more pleasant and help me unwind.

提案: 回答表达了观点但存在重复、语法和逻辑表述问题。提高建议： 1) 用更自然的否定句开头，如“I usually don’t”并说明原因。 2) 删除重复词（如“keep the keep”），用更准确的词组“keep the scenery in mind”或“remember the view”。 3) 用连接词引出对比，例如“because / rather than / instead”。 4) 提供一个具体例子或场景支持观点，使内容更具体。

例: I usually don't take photos of scenery outside the car window because I prefer to remember the view with my own eyes. For instance, when I travel I find that watching the landscape directly lets me notice small details, like the changing light, which photos sometimes miss.

提案: 回答表达了偏好和原因，但存在语法、重复和用词不自然的问题。提高建议： 1) 首句直接给出偏好并简洁说明原因，如“I prefer the sea because…”。 2) 修正语法（例如“when I stay beside the sea”），避免重复（如两次“seeing”）。 3) 使用更自然的表达描述感受，如“feel refreshed”或“my mind calms down”。 4) 可以加入一两个具体细节（例如海风、海浪声或广阔的视野）来丰富内容。

例: I prefer the sea because being by the coast makes me feel refreshed and calm. The sound of the waves and the wide horizon help me relax, and the sea breeze is very soothing compared to the stillness of the mountains.

× I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car. I think it is a relaxing way to enjoy the view outside. This is all about the buildings in the city. It's all about the natural scenery in in the parks so I can feel more comfort comfortable during.

✓ I often look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car. I think it is a relaxing way to enjoy the view outside. In the city, it's mostly about the buildings. In the parks, it's mostly the natural scenery, so I can feel more comfortable.

句子存在时态与表达不连贯问题（主要是现在时使用合理，但句子结构和词语选择不自然）。原句中“This is all about the buildings in the city. It's all about the natural scenery in in the parks” 用法不恰当且有重复单词“in”。“more comfort comfortable during” 结构错误且多余介词“during”。建议把句子分为两部分并改为惯用表达：In the city, it's mostly about... / In the parks, it's mostly the natural scenery; 用 more comfortable 表示“更舒适”。简化句子使现在时表达清晰自然。

× I don't take the photos of the scenery outside the car window because I think it is a better way to keep the keep those scenery in mind instead of taking pictures. Taking pictures maybe is a waste of time, but looking through my eyes can see the view better.

✓ I don't take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I think it's a better way to keep those scenes in mind instead of taking pictures. Taking pictures may be a waste of time, but looking with my eyes lets me see the view better.

主要错误包括冠词与名词形式使用不当：不需要说“the photos”或“the scenery”在此处用复数泛指可用“photos”与“scenes”。“keep the keep those scenery in mind” 有重复且“scenery”是不可数名词，改为可数名词“scenes”或保持“the scenery”。“maybe is” 语序错误，应为“may be”。“looking through my eyes can see” 主语/动词结构不正确，改为“looking with my eyes lets me see” 更自然。建议注意可数/不可数名词和情态动词短语结构。

× I prefer the sea because when I staying beside the sea I can feel refreshing and my mind may calm down seeing seeing the sea wave up and downs, seeing the horizon in front of me and I feel really comfortable.

✓ I prefer the sea because when I stay beside the sea I feel refreshed and my mind calms down watching the waves rise and fall, seeing the horizon in front of me, and I feel really comfortable.

错误包括动词形式和现在时使用不当：“when I staying” 应为“when I stay”（动名词/现在分词误用）。“I can feel refreshing” 结构错误，应为“I feel refreshed” 或“I feel refreshing”意思不同。重复词“seeing seeing”应去掉一个。“sea wave up and downs” 表达不自然，应为“waves rise and fall”或“the up-and-down motion of the waves”。“my mind may calm down” 用“may”表示不确定，语境更适合一般现在时表述为“my mind calms down”。建议注意动词形式（stay vs staying）和形容词/过去分词（refreshed），以及避免重复词。