Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子表达不够清晰且有语法和词汇错误，内容有重复。建议先用一句主题句直接回答问题，然后用一到两句具体且连贯的细节支持。注意可数名词复数形式、动词形式，以及使用连接词（for example, such as, and）来增强连贯性。多练习用准确的词汇描述景物（例如 "birds singing" 而不是 "birds creeping"）。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me relax. For example, I enjoy watching animals in the fields and children playing outside. Also, I like listening to birds singing, which makes me feel refreshed.

提案: 表达混乱，词汇使用错误（如 sensuous/sensory/sensories 不合适），语法和逻辑不清晰。建议先直接回答，然后说明原因并给出具体例子。用正确词汇如 "beautiful views" 或 "scenery"，并用连接词（because, so, for example）组织句子。控制语速，避免填充词（umm）。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I see beautiful views during long trips. For example, I sometimes capture sunsets or interesting landscapes so I can remember the trip later.

提案: 回答较清楚，但有重复和语法问题。建议先直接给出偏好，然后用一到两句具体原因支持，避免重复表达“tired”。可以用更自然的连接词（because, and, while）。注意句子简洁，避免多余短语。

例: I prefer the sea because I find walking on the beach more relaxing than climbing mountains. Also, I love watching sunrises and sunsets over the ocean, which I find breathtaking.

× Yes, because when I'm in the bus or car I have nothing to do but just look out of the window and I can see the sceneries, which is some animals working or just the kid flying or listen to birds creeping and all of them makes me feel really relaxed and refreshed.

✓ Yes, because when I'm in the bus or car I have nothing to do but just look out of the window and I can see the scenery, such as animals grazing, or children flying kites, or listening to birds chirping, and all of it makes me feel really relaxed and refreshed.

句子中存在主谓一致和名词使用错误：“sceneries”应为不可数名词“scenery”；“which is some animals working or just the kid flying or listen to birds creeping”结构混乱且动词形式不一致，应使用并列结构并保持动词形式一致；“all of them makes” 主语复数时谓语应为“make”，但把整体视作单一景色时用“all of it makes”。建议把列举的项目用并列短语（such as …, or …, or …）并统一动词形式（grazing/ flying kites/ chirping）。

× Yes, because I think I always umm see the very beautiful sensuous when when have a non-stop traveling and I also take the photos of the sensory because I'm very pressured to see this beautiful sensories by chance and it makes me really pressure.

✓ Yes, because I think I always see very beautiful scenery when I travel non-stop, and I also take photos of the scenery because I feel it's a rare opportunity to see such beauty by chance and it makes me feel excited.

句子时态和名词使用混乱：应使用一般现在时描述经常性动作（I always see / I also take）；“sensuous/sensory/sensories”均用错，应为不可数名词“scenery”；“when when have a non-stop traveling”缺主语和介词错误，改为“When I travel non-stop”。“I'm very pressured”用法不自然，改为“I feel it's a rare opportunity”或“it makes me feel excited”。建议理清主语、动词和名词的正确形式，使用一般现在时描述习惯性动作。

× Yes, because I think I always umm see the very beautiful sensuous when when have a non-stop traveling and I also take the photos of the sensory because I'm very pressured to see this beautiful sensories by chance and it makes me really pressure.

✓ Yes, because I think I always see very beautiful scenery when I travel without stopping, and I also take photos of the scenery because I feel it's a rare opportunity to see such beauty by chance and it makes me feel excited.

原句中介词和短语使用不当：“when have a non-stop traveling”应使用“when I travel without stopping”或“when I am on a non-stop trip”；“take the photos of the sensory”应为“take photos of the scenery”，不用“of the + 抽象不可数名词”。建议使用固定搭配：travel without stopping / take photos of scenery / by chance。

× I prefer the sea because I think I don't need to climb the mountains as which is very tired makes me feel tired and exhausted.

✓ I prefer the sea because I think I don't need to climb mountains, which is very tiring and makes me feel exhausted.

原句中“the mountains”可改为复数泛指“climb mountains”或保持“the mountains”也可，但句子有冗余和形容词/动词形式错误：“very tired makes me feel tired”重复且用词不当，应改为“very tiring and makes me feel exhausted”。把“which”引导的定语从句指向前面的动作或情况时，用形容词“-ing”形式（tiring）更合适。

× But if I can go to the seaside and can also see the sunrise and or the sunset which is extremely stunning and breathtaking.

✓ But if I can go to the seaside I can also see the sunrise or the sunset, which is extremely stunning and breathtaking.

句子中连词和结构使用不当：“and or”不合适，应选“or”；同时主句缺谓语（原句用“If I can... and can also...”断裂），应把条件与结果明确分开并添加相应谓语。“which”指代前面的整个情况，用形容词“stunning and breathtaking”描述是正确的。建议简化结构：If I can go to the seaside, I can also see the sunrise or sunset, which is ...。