Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and natural, but it contains hesitations, minor repetition and slightly informal fillers ("umm", "you know"). To improve, give a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repeated words and reduce fillers. Keep it within 3–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I always sit by the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy looking at the passing scenery. For example, I like watching small towns and countryside landscapes as they change, which helps me relax. In addition, the view makes the journey feel shorter and more interesting.

提案: Good content and clear habit description, but the response is wordy and contains fillers and small grammatical issues. Improve by stating the habit clearly, then give a specific reason or example using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so"). Avoid repetition of platform names and reduce informal phrases like "you know."

例: Yes, I regularly take photos from car windows because I like to capture interesting scenes while travelling. For instance, I often photograph sunsets or unusual buildings and later post the best shots on my Instagram to keep them as memories.

提案: Answer expresses a clear preference but has grammatical errors (use "prefer X to Y"), hesitations and vague phrasing. Improve by using the correct comparative structure, giving one clear specific reason with a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so") and avoiding fillers. Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because I enjoy the cool, fresh air and the peaceful atmosphere among the trees. By contrast, beaches often feel too hot for me, so I don't relax there as much.

× Yes, I look out the window every time I travel by bus or a car.

✓ Yes, I look out the window every time I travel by bus or by car.

Using 'a car' after 'by' is awkward; transportation with 'by' usually takes the vehicle without an article (by bus, by car). To be parallel, use 'by car' or repeat 'by' with both: 'by bus or by car.' This keeps idiomatic usage and parallel structure.

× Umm, personally I choose a seat beside the window because I like to see what's outside.

✓ Umm, personally I choose a seat beside the window because I like to see what is outside.

Contraction 'what's' is acceptable in speaking but in careful grammatically corrected form expand to 'what is' for clarity. No major grammatical error; this correction is stylistic to match formal responses.

× Of course, the scenery, the the fresh air and you know, just a breath of freedom.

✓ Of course, I enjoy the scenery, the fresh air, and, you know, just a breath of freedom.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb. Adding 'I enjoy' completes the sentence and removing the duplicated 'the' fixes a typing error. Include commas for list clarity.

× Yes, actually that's my habit, taking photos everywhere and anywhere I am.

✓ Yes, actually that's my habit: I take photos everywhere I am.

Using a noun clause 'taking photos...' after 'habit' is acceptable, but the original phrase 'everywhere and anywhere I am' is awkward. Recasting to 'I take photos everywhere I go' or 'everywhere I am' with clear verb 'take' improves clarity and tense consistency.

× So especially when I am traveling, I love taking pictures outside my car and windows and you know, post it on my social media and share it to my Instagram or Facebook.

✓ So especially when I am traveling, I love taking pictures out of my car window and, you know, posting them on my social media and sharing them to my Instagram or Facebook.

Use 'out of my car window' or 'from my car window' for correct preposition. 'Post it' should match plural 'pictures' so change to 'posting them.' Also use 'sharing them to' or better 'on' my Instagram or Facebook. Ensure gerund forms 'posting' and 'sharing' for parallel structure.

× Having it, it's just a memory after that.

✓ Having them, they're just memories afterward.

Pronoun 'it' mismatches plural 'pictures.' Change to plural 'them' and 'memories.' Also 'after that' is better as 'afterward' for natural phrasing.

× I prefer the mountains than the sea because when I am on the mountain I can feel the fresh air under the trees and you know, just the calm moments.

✓ I prefer the mountains to the sea because when I am on the mountain I can feel the fresh air under the trees and, you know, just enjoy calm moments.

After 'prefer' use 'to' not 'than.' Also adjust 'just the calm moments' to 'just enjoy calm moments' to include a verb and improve fluency.

× However, when I go to the beach or to the sea, it's really hot and I don't really enjoy that much.

✓ However, when I go to the beach or the sea, it's really hot and I don't really enjoy it that much.

Omit repeated 'to' before 'the sea' for concision. Add 'it' after 'enjoy' because 'enjoy' is transitive and requires an object; 'that much' needs 'it' to refer back to the experience.