Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答需要更直接并且更自然，先用一句主题句回答问题，然后给出一两条具体支持细节并使用连接词。注意语法和常用表达（不要说“route play my phone”或“with a kind past”）。可把句子拆成更短的句子，控制在五句内。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I usually use my phone at first, but after a while I get bored, so I prefer to watch the passing scenery to relax. For example, I like watching city streets and parks because they help me unwind during long trips.

提案: 回答不够清晰且有很多词汇和语法错误。要直接回答是或否，然后用一两句具体原因或例子解释。避免奇怪的短语（如“take out my horns”或“migrate it”），用常见动词如“take photos”或“send to”。

例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of interesting scenery from the car window. If I see a view I haven't seen before, I usually take a quick photo and later send it to my parents or friends so they can see it too.

提案: 回答没有直接表达偏好，且句子混乱。先明确说明你更喜欢哪一个，然后用一两条具体理由支持，使用连接词使表达连贯。注意逻辑和词汇准确性（如“horizon”用法合适，但“you don't know any animals in this area”应更自然）。

例: I prefer the mountains to the sea. I like mountains because you can see a wide view of peaks and forests, and hiking there feels peaceful. In contrast, the sea sometimes feels too open and quiet for me.

× Of course, usually when I travel it by bus or car I route play my phone, but with a kind past it is boring to use my phone always, so I'll try to look out of the window to see the scenery to relax myself.

✓ Of course. Usually when I travel by bus or car I usually play on my phone, but sometimes it's boring to use my phone all the time, so I try to look out of the window to see the scenery and relax.

句子有多处结构混乱和词序错误："it by bus or car" 应为 "by bus or car"；"route play my phone" 无意义，应为 "usually play on my phone"；"with a kind past" 不是正确表达，推测为 "sometimes" 或 "in the past"；"use my phone always" 词序应为 "all the time"；结尾部分并列短语连接不流畅，应改为 "see the scenery and relax"。建议：简化句子结构，按时间、方式和目的顺序组织信息，使用常见固定搭配（play on my phone, all the time, look out of the window）。

× Is there any beautiful scenery on I haven't seen before that I will take out my horns to take the photo to migrate it or to set it to my parents or my friends?

✓ If there is any beautiful scenery I haven't seen before, I will take out my phone to take a photo and send it to my parents or my friends.

句子中多处介词及词汇使用错误："on I haven't seen" 应为从句连接 "I haven't seen before"；"take out my horns" 词不达意，应为 "take out my phone"；"to take the photo to migrate it" 错误，可能想说 "take a photo and send it"，"migrate" 不适用。建议：用条件从句 If 引导，使用正确短语 "take out my phone", "take a photo", "send it to"。

× We now tell you the best because nowadays you can see the you can see the whole mountains in your horizon, but the ocean is too deep for your side and you don't know any animals in this area. It is very still.

✓ I prefer the mountains because you can see the whole range on the horizon, while the ocean is very deep and you often can't see animals there. It is very calm.

原句语序混乱，重复 "you can see the"，"whole mountains in your horizon" 应为 "the whole range on the horizon"；"too deep for your side" 不自然，应表述为 "very deep and you often can't see animals there"；"very still" 常用 "very calm" 来形容海面或环境。建议：去除重复，使用自然表达（on the horizon, mountain range, very calm），并保持句子连贯。