Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ・話は直接質問に答えており意図は伝わりますが、繰り返し（umm、多重の接続詞）や文法的な小さな誤り（"go to somewhere"）があり、流暢さと正確さを改善できます。 ・具体的で簡潔なトピックセンテンスを使い、補足情報は1〜2文にまとめ、適切な接続詞（for example, because, so）でつなぎましょう。 ・語彙は日常的で問題ありませんが、冗長なフィラー（umm, uh）を減らし、代わりに短いポーズや滑らかな繋ぎ言葉を使う練習をしてください。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy seeing new places. For example, when I visit a city for the first time I like to notice its architecture and street life, which makes the journey more interesting.

提案: ・質問には肯定で答えており経験の例もあるが、文が未完成で冗長な発話（複数のumm, uh、繰り返し）が多く、文法と終わり方が不明瞭です。 ・回答は目的のセンテンス→具体例の順に整理し、過去の出来事を述べる時は時制と文の終わりをはっきりさせましょう。 ・写真を撮る理由やどのような瞬間を撮るかなど具体的な情報を1文で付け加えると説得力が増します。

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car during road trips. For example, on my last trip with friends I took many landscape shots of the mountains because the light at sunset looked especially beautiful.

提案: ・明確に好みが季節で変わると答えており、具体例も示しているため内容は良い。しかし繰り返し語（the the、autumn autumn）やフィラーがあり、表現をもっと流暢に整理できます。 ・比較や理由を述べる際は接続詞（for example, however, because）を自然に使い、語の重複や不要な終助詞（so）を避けましょう。 ・さらに一文でどちらがより好きか、あるいは場面毎の好みを簡潔にまとめると印象が良くなります。

例: I like both, but it depends on the season. For instance, I prefer the sea in summer because I enjoy walking along the beach, while in spring or autumn I prefer the mountains for cherry blossoms and colorful leaves.

× I like to look out the window, umm, especially when I go to somewhere, umm, I've never been to, so because I can enjoy the new scenery, umm, and that makes me really happy.

✓ I like to look out the window, especially when I go somewhere I have never been to, because I can enjoy the new scenery and that makes me really happy.

The phrase 'go to somewhere' is incorrect; use 'go somewhere' without 'to'. Also the clause 'I've never been to' should attach to 'somewhere' as 'somewhere I have never been to' or better 'somewhere I have never been.' Combine redundant connectors ('so because') into a single reason word ('because'). Remove filler words and duplicate commas to improve fluency.

× Yes, I always take photos of the scenery out of the car, umm, when I, when I go on a road trip, uh, for example, last time I uh, went on a road trip with my friends, umm, I was a photographer, uh, for my friends in.

✓ Yes, I always take photos of the scenery out of the car when I go on a road trip. For example, last time I went on a road trip with my friends, I was the photographer for my friends.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'in' and repeats clauses. Use past simple 'went' correctly and place the role phrase as 'I was the photographer for my friends.' Remove filler words and broken fragments. Ensure complete sentence structure by removing stray preposition 'in'.

× Well, I like both and it depends on the season. Uh, for example, in summer I like sea and I like to walk on the beach side.

✓ Well, I like both and it depends on the season. For example, in summer I like the sea and I like to walk on the beach.

Use definite article 'the' with 'sea' when speaking about the sea in general in a seasonal context: 'the sea.' 'Beach side' is awkward; use 'the beach' or 'on the beach.' Remove filler words for clarity.

× But in spring or autumn season, you can enjoy the the cherry blossom and autumn autumn leaves on the mountain, so.

✓ But in spring or autumn you can enjoy the cherry blossoms and the autumn leaves on the mountain.

Do not repeat 'the'. Use plural 'cherry blossoms' and 'autumn leaves' for natural expression. Omit the redundant word 'season' after seasons or say 'in the spring or autumn.' Remove trailing 'so' which leaves the sentence incomplete.