Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 答えは質問に直接応えている点は良いですが、発音の混乱（"by by stroke car"）、語順や語彙の誤り、冗長な表現（"And yeah", "Really"）が目立ちます。また、意見を補強する具体的な理由や短い詳細を加えるとより自然で効果的な回答になります。改善のために、簡潔なトピック文の後に理由や具体例を1〜2文で述べ、不要なフィラーを減らす練習をしてください。

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by car or bus because I enjoy watching how the landscape changes. For example, I like seeing farms and small towns pass by, which makes the journey more interesting.

提案: 回答は意図が伝わりますが、文法ミス（"he I"）,不明瞭な語順、過度のフィラー（"umm"）や不完全な文があり、流暢さと明瞭さが低いです。理由は示していますが具体性が弱く、論理的なつながりが不足しています。改善するには、主語と動詞を明確にし、理由を短く具体的に述べ、接続詞（because/so/therefore）で結んでください。音声練習でフィラーを減らすことも有効です。

例: I usually record videos of the scenery rather than taking photos because videos capture the movement and the changing light better. For instance, I can replay a long stretch of coastline or countryside later to remember the trip.

提案: 構成は良く、好みの変化と理由を述べていますが、時制の一貫性の問題（"used to... currently preferred"）、語順や名詞・形容詞の使い方の誤り（"more calm and relaxing atmosphere"→"a calmer, more relaxing atmosphere"）、および文の未完（"makes me feel deep and."）が目立ちます。改善には正しい時制の対比を使い、形容詞や名詞句を適切に組み立て、1〜2の具体例（活動や体験）を追加してください。

例: I used to prefer the sea, but now I prefer the mountains because they offer a calmer and more relaxing atmosphere. For example, hiking in the mountains helps me unwind and think more clearly.

× Actually he I take videos of the scenery outside the window because umm photo would be umm. Not a great taken but video is umm.

✓ Actually I take videos of the scenery outside the window because photos wouldn't be taken well, but videos are better.

The original sentence contains a wrong pronoun 'he' before 'I' and awkward passive phrasing. Remove the extra 'he' to use the correct subject pronoun 'I' (pronoun error). Also replace 'photo would be umm. Not a great taken' with 'photos wouldn't be taken well' for grammatical passive voice and count agreement. Use plural 'photos' when speaking generally. Suggestion: say 'I take videos' and 'photos wouldn't be taken well' for clear, grammatical expression.

× Yes, I do look out the window at the scenery when travelling by by stroke car. And yeah, also at the airplane. I love them changing the scene. Really.

✓ Yes, I look out the window at the scenery when travelling by car. Also on an airplane. I love watching the scenery change.

The original has redundancy 'do look' is unnecessary in simple present and 'by by stroke car' is incorrect phraseing; use 'by car' or 'in a car'. 'Also at the airplane' is wrong preposition and article; use 'on an airplane'. 'I love them changing the scene' uses 'them' incorrectly (pronoun error) and awkward verb form; use 'watching the scenery change' to express enjoyment. Suggestions: use simple present 'I look', correct prepositions 'by car/on an airplane', and 'watching' for ongoing action.

× I used to prefer the sea but currently preferred the mountains because it is more calm and relaxing atmosphere and that makes me feel UMM. Deep and.

✓ I used to prefer the sea, but currently I prefer the mountains because they are calmer and have a more relaxing atmosphere, which makes me feel deep and relaxed.

The sentence mixes past 'used to prefer' with incorrect past 'preferred' when describing a current state; use present 'prefer' for current preference (tense consistency). 'It is more calm and relaxing atmosphere' has subject and article errors; refer to 'they' (mountains) and use 'calmer' (comparative) and 'a more relaxing atmosphere'. Also complete the thought 'feel deep and relaxed' instead of trailing off. Suggestions: keep tense consistent, match subject pronouns and use comparative forms for adjectives.