Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сфокусируйтесь на чётком основном предложении и уберите лишние слова. Используйте связки для логики (for example, because, so) и конкретизируйте детали. Попробуйте использовать правильную грамматику: «I like to look», «in some situations», «beautiful places or animals». Ограничьте ответ до 2–4 предложений, каждое грамматически корректно. Также избегайте заполнителей (uh, um) и повторов.

例: Yes, I like to look out of the window when I travel. For example, I often see beautiful countryside and sometimes wild animals, which makes the journey more interesting and enjoyable.

提案: Уберите звуковые заполнители (uh, um) и повторы. Начните с чёткого утверждения, затем объясните причину с помощью связки (because, so that). Дайте одну конкретную деталь (например, what you photograph or when). Ограничьте ответ до 2–3 предложений и постарайтесь использовать правильную структуру: «I take photos because… so I can…».

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because it helps me remember special moments. For instance, I usually capture sunsets or interesting landscapes to look back on later.

提案: Начните с прямого ответа («I prefer the sea») и дайте две короткие, чёткие причины, используя связки (because, firstly, secondly). Исправьте ошибки в словосочетаниях: «more relaxing», «I enjoy it», «diving lessons». Не используйте «behind us». Держите 2–3 предложения, избегая повторов и междометий.

例: I prefer the sea because it is more relaxing and I enjoy swimming there. Secondly, I like the sea because I can take diving lessons and learn new skills.

× Yeah, I like look out the window because it's so good and in the some situation it's so funny because you can find a lot of beautiful places maybe or see the beautiful animals or view in your country.

✓ Yeah, I like looking out of the window because it's so nice, and in some situations it's funny because you can find a lot of beautiful places or see beautiful animals or views in your country.

The verb 'like' should be followed by the gerund 'looking' (rule: verb + -ing). Use 'looking out of the window' or 'looking out the window' and 'some situations' (plural) instead of 'the some situation'. 'So good' is informal and unidiomatic; 'so nice' is more natural. 'Maybe' misplaced; remove or place appropriately. Also use plural 'animals' and 'views' for general reference. Suggestion: after verbs of preference use gerund; ensure noun number matches generalization and choose natural adjectives.

× Yeah, uh, definitely I, I take a photo of scenery outside the car window because, uh, it's fun and, uh, help me remember all moments 'cause the moments which I saw in the, uh, travel.

✓ Yeah, definitely I take photos of the scenery outside the car window because it's fun and helps me remember all the moments I saw during the trip.

'Scenery' with 'photo' needs an article: 'photos of the scenery' or plural 'photos'. 'Help' must agree with subject: use 'helps' because subject is 'it' (the activity) — though better: 'it helps me'. Use gerund not required here but ensure subject-verb agreement. 'All moments' should be 'all the moments'. 'Which I saw in the travel' is unidiomatic; use 'I saw during the trip'. Suggestion: check article use with abstract nouns and ensure verb agrees with its subject; use idiomatic prepositions like 'during' for trips.

× Behind us, I prefer a sea because it's more good and, uh, more help me, uh, relax and enjoying And uh, the second uh, reason, umm, for my prefer, it's uh, maybe, uh, lessons for diving.

✓ Personally, I prefer the sea because it's better and it helps me relax and enjoy myself. The second reason for my preference is that there are maybe lessons for diving.

'Behind us' is inappropriate contextually; use 'personally' or drop it. Use definite article 'the sea' for specific preference. 'More good' is incorrect; use 'better'. 'More help me' must be 'it helps me' (subject-verb agreement). 'Relax and enjoying' must be parallel: 'relax and enjoy myself' (verb base form and reflexive pronoun). 'For my prefer' wrong form; use 'for my preference'. 'Lessons for diving' is more natural as 'lessons for diving' or 'diving lessons' but include 'there are' to indicate existence. Suggestion: use correct comparative forms, ensure verbs are parallel, and use appropriate articles and reflexive pronouns.