Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and slightly longer (but <=5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repeating words like "do this"; instead say "I do" or "I like to."

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car or bus. I find it relaxing and it helps me notice interesting buildings and landscapes, so I often spend the trip watching the scenery.

提案: Improve grammar and coherence: use correct tense and sentence structure, remove filler words (uh), and connect ideas with linking words. Give one clear example and correct collocations (e.g., "series of photos", "decorated building").

例: Yes, I often take a series of photos through the window, especially when something catches my eye. For example, once I saw a large, beautifully decorated building, so I asked the driver to stop briefly and took several pictures.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting reasons, using linking words to improve coherence. Correct awkward phrases (e.g., "I find peace in the mountains", "the peaceful atmosphere"). Keep sentences concise and grammatical.

例: I prefer the mountains because I find them peaceful and less crowded than the coast. For instance, I enjoy the fresh air and the quiet atmosphere, and the cool weather makes hiking much more comfortable.

× Yes, I do this whenever I travel by car or bus.

✓ Yes, I do whenever I travel by car or bus.

Unnecessary pronoun 'this' makes the sentence slightly awkward. The question asks about looking out the window; respond with 'I do' or 'I do so'. Use 'I do whenever I travel...' for natural present habitual tense.

× Yes, I take photos series outside the window.

✓ Yes, I take series of photos outside the window.

Word order and choice are incorrect. Use the noun phrase 'a series of photos' or 'series of photos' to indicate multiple pictures. Placement of 'series' before 'of' is required.

× Once Upon a time I saw a large printing, uh you a very decorate building.

✓ Once upon a time I saw a large, very decorated building.

Sentence has tense-friendly narrative 'Once upon a time' so past simple 'saw' is correct. The original contains extra filler and wrong words: 'printing, uh you' are incorrect. Use 'very decorated' or better 'ornately decorated'. Also capitalize only first word; here kept lowercase for integration but corrected wording.

× So I stopped the car and take the picture.

✓ So I stopped the car and took a picture.

Sequence of past events requires past simple for both verbs: 'stopped' and 'took'. 'Take' is present; change to past participle 'took' for simple past. Use 'a picture' rather than 'the picture' unless a specific picture is implied.

× As far as my opinion, I prefer mountains.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer the mountains.

'As far as my opinion' is unidiomatic. Use 'In my opinion'. Also with general preference for a geographical feature, use the definite article 'the mountains' to refer to mountains in general.

× I found peace in mountains open when I go to the mountains, the sound, the polite mountains, the weather.

✓ I find peace in the mountains when I go there — the sounds, the clean air, and the pleasant weather.

Tense inconsistency: use present simple 'I find' for habitual preference. 'Mountains open' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'in the open mountains' or 'in the mountains'. 'Polite mountains' is incorrect; probably 'pleasant' or 'quiet'. List items need parallel structure and correct nouns: 'sounds, clean air, and pleasant weather'. Also use 'there' to avoid repetition.

× I love that.

✓ I love it.

'That' is acceptable but 'it' is more natural referring to the general experience; both are grammatical. This correction is stylistic to match prior sentence. No tense change required.