Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 단어 선택에서 오류가 있습니다. 우선 시제와 동사 형태(예: 'traveling'→'travel'), 관사(예: 'a bus or a car' 또는 'buses or cars')를 고쳐야 합니다. 'licking the scenery'는 의미가 통하지 않으므로 'looking at the scenery'로 바로잡아야 합니다. 또한 한 문장으로 바로 답하고, 추가로 이유를 덧붙일 때는 연결어(for example, because, so 등)를 사용해 자연스럽게 확장하세요. 전체 답변은 3문장 이내로 간결하게 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find the scenery relaxing. For example, seeing trees and open fields helps me unwind after a busy day.

提案: 문장 구조와 표현을 더 정확히 해야 합니다. 'take the photo you' 같은 표현은 부자연스럽고 의미 전달이 되지 않습니다. 'memorize my valuable memory'도 중복 표현이므로 'preserve memories'나 'capture memories'로 바꾸세요. 구체적인 예(예: 'trees, flowers, or mountains')는 좋지만 관사와 복수형을 정확히 사용해야 합니다. 연결어('because', 'for example')를 적절히 배치해 답변을 논리적으로 만드세요.

例: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because I want to capture and preserve special memories. For example, I usually photograph interesting trees, colorful flowers, or mountain views when I travel.

提案: 단어 선택과 문장 연결에서 오류가 많습니다. 'seat'는 'sea'로 고쳐야 하고, 같은 이유를 반복('because I like... because I like...')하지 않도록 문장을 간결하게 만드세요. 경험을 언급할 때는 과거와 현재 시제를 명확히 구분하고, 연결어('so', 'because', 'as')를 이용해 이유와 결과를 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 한두 문장으로 명확히 답한 뒤, 구체적 예나 짧은 이유를 덧붙이세요.

例: I definitely prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and playing in the water. When I was young, I often went to the beach with my family, so seaside activities feel especially fun and relaxing.

× Yes, I look out the scenery when I traveling in bus or car because licking the scenery makes me feel very relieved and comfort.

✓ Yes, I look at the scenery when I am traveling by bus or car because looking at the scenery makes me feel very relieved and comfortable.

The sentence has multiple issues: 1) 'look out the scenery' should be 'look at the scenery' (correct preposition). 2) 'I traveling' needs a verb form with an auxiliary for present continuous: 'I am traveling' (present tense issue). 3) 'licking the scenery' is a typo and incorrect verb; should be 'looking at the scenery' (verb + -ing form and word choice). 4) 'in bus or car' needs the preposition 'by' and articles omitted or 'a' can be used; 'by bus or car' is correct. 5) 'comfort' is a noun but the adjective 'comfortable' is needed. Suggestion: use 'look at the scenery when I am traveling by bus or car because looking at the scenery makes me feel very relieved and comfortable.'

× Yes, I take the photo you. I usually take a photo outside the car because I think the photo is very important to memorize my my valuable memory.

✓ Yes, I take photos. I usually take photos from outside the car because I think photos are important for preserving my valuable memories.

Errors: 1) 'I take the photo you' is unclear; likely intended 'I take photos' (plural). 2) 'take a photo outside the car' should be 'take photos from outside the car' (preposition and plural). 3) 'to memorize my my valuable memory' is incorrect: 'memorize' normally means to commit to memory; use 'preserve' or 'keep' and 'memories' (plural). Use plural 'photos are' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestion: 'I usually take photos from outside the car because I think photos are important for preserving my valuable memories.'

× For example, I used to take a photo the trees or flowers or mountain.

✓ For example, I used to take photos of trees, flowers, or mountains.

Issues: 1) 'take a photo the trees' needs preposition 'of' and pluralization for general items: 'photos of trees, flowers, or mountains.' 2) 'used to' is fine for past habitual actions but the objects should be plural and correctly preposited. Suggestion: use 'photos of' and plural nouns when listing general types.

× I definitely prefer the seat because I like to play in the water because I like swimming and I used to swim with my family when I was young so I prefer the sea and the water play makes me so fun and playful.

✓ I definitely prefer the sea because I like to play in the water and I like swimming. I used to swim with my family when I was young, so I prefer the sea; playing in the water is fun and makes me feel playful.

Problems: 1) 'prefer the seat' is a typo for 'sea' (word choice). 2) Repetition of 'because' makes the sentence run-on; sentence structure needs splitting. 3) 'the water play makes me so fun and playful' is incorrect: 'makes me so fun' is ungrammatical (use 'I find it fun' or 'it is fun'), and 'water play' is awkward; use 'playing in the water' or 'playing in the sea.' 4) Use commas or connectors to join clauses properly. Suggestion: split into clearer sentences and use 'playing in the water is fun and makes me feel playful.'