Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition; give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Keep answers concise (maximum 5 sentences) and use linking words for coherence (for example, “because” or “so”). Also use correct collocations (e.g., “look at the scenery” not “look out for the beautiful”) and avoid filler words like “umm.”

例: Yes, I often look at the scenery when I travel by bus or car because I find it relaxing. For example, I enjoy watching the changing countryside and small villages pass by, and I sometimes note interesting buildings or landscapes to photograph later.

提案: Good direct answer and clear idea, but improve naturalness and accuracy: use correct noun forms (say “scenery” not “sceneries”), avoid “obviously” repeatedly, and add a brief reason or specific example using a linking word like “because” or “so.”

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery because I want to keep memories of the places I visit. For instance, last month I photographed a row of old houses and a river when I travelled to the countryside.

提案: Provide a clear preference or say both with reasons; avoid fragmented phrases and pronunciation errors. Start with a topic sentence (e.g., “I prefer the mountains because…” or “I like both for different reasons.”), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words like “because” or “but.” Keep sentences grammatical and concise.

例: I like both the mountains and the sea for different reasons. For example, I prefer the sea in summer because I enjoy swimming and sunbathing, but in winter I prefer the mountains because I love skiing and playing in the snow.

× Obviously, I love enjoying, umm, enjoying, uh, enjoying. I love enjoying watching looking sceneries beautifully and escape whenever I try, whenever I travel by bus or car and uh, I look out uh, for the beautiful.

✓ Obviously, I love enjoying the view. I love watching beautiful scenery and escaping whenever I travel by bus or car, and I look out for it.

The student overuses gerunds and mixes verbs incorrectly (enjoying watching looking). Use a single verb phrase: 'love watching' (verb + -ing) is correct. 'Sceneries' is incorrect plural; use 'scenery' (uncountable). 'Beautifully' was an incorrect adverb here; use adjective 'beautiful' to describe 'scenery'. Also simplify redundant filler words. Suggestions: choose one verb with -ing when expressing enjoyment (e.g., 'love watching'), use 'scenery' not 'sceneries', and place adjectives before nouns ('beautiful scenery').

× I love taking photos of sceneries and keep memories for the future, and I usually take photos whenever I travel by bus or car.

✓ I love taking photos of the scenery and keeping memories for the future, and I usually take photos whenever I travel by bus or car.

Preposition 'of' is fine, but 'sceneries' is incorrect (use 'scenery' uncountable). Also parallel structure requires gerund 'keeping' to match 'taking'. Change 'keep' to 'keeping'. Suggestion: maintain parallel gerund forms ('taking' and 'keeping') and use 'the scenery' or just 'scenery'.

× I like both of them. It depends on the what kind of season is it and I some more. I love I love enjoying it see but in the atom I love playing with snow.

✓ I like both. It depends on the season, and I like them for different reasons. I enjoy the sea, but in autumn I love playing in the snow.

Multiple issues: redundant pronouns and unclear referents. 'Both of them' can be simplified to 'both'. 'It depends on the what kind of season is it' is incorrect word order and extra words; correct to 'It depends on the season'. 'I some more' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'I like them for different reasons'. 'I love enjoying it see' mixes words; use 'I enjoy the sea'. 'Atom' is a misspelling of 'autumn'. Use preposition 'in' with seasons ('in autumn') and correct verb phrase 'playing in the snow'. Suggestions: use clear pronouns, correct word order for questions/clauses, and correct season spelling.