Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите повторы и заполнители («umm», «uh»), начните с чёткой топик‑фразы и добавьте одно-две конкретные детали. Используйте связки для плавности, например «because» или «so», и держите ответ не длиннее пяти предложений. Также избегайте тавтологии («pass time» и «not boring») — скажите «makes the time pass quickly» или «helps me relax».

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because the changing scenery makes the time pass quickly. For example, on long journeys I enjoy watching villages and fields go by, which helps me relax and stay entertained.

提案: Уберите грамматические ошибки и местоимения, используйте простую структуру: «Yes/No, I sometimes… because…» Добавьте конкретный пример и используйте правильные слова (не «scanner»). Избегайте заполнителей и повторов. Держите 2–4 предложения и используйте связку «for example» или «because».

例: Sometimes I do take photos of the scenery outside the car window because it helps me keep memories of new places. For example, when I visit a new city or country I often photograph interesting buildings or landscapes from the car.

提案: Избегайте словесных пауз и неполных предложений; начните с прямого ответа («I prefer the mountains») и затем добавьте 2–3 конкретных причин с примерами. Используйте связки («because», «for example», «so») и уточните времена и контекст («in autumn and spring»), а также корректно сформулируйте про походы с семьёй и друзьями.

例: I prefer the mountains because the air is fresher and the atmosphere is calmer, especially in autumn and spring. For example, I enjoy hiking with my family and classmates on mountain trails, which helps me unwind and enjoy nature.

× It's very interesting activity, especially, umm, especially in long journeys.

✓ It's a very interesting activity, especially on long journeys.

The noun 'activity' requires an article; use 'a' for singular countable nouns. Additionally, the preposition 'on' is used with 'journeys' (on a journey/on long journeys). Suggestion: add 'a' before 'very' and replace 'in' with 'on'.

× Uh, it helps me, uh, it helps me uh, to pass time, to pass time quickly and not boring during the journey.

✓ It helps me to pass the time quickly and not be bored during the journey.

Use infinitive 'to pass' with 'the time' (definite article required). 'Not boring' is incorrect here; the correct adjective for the subject is 'bored' (past participle/adjective). Suggestion: use 'to pass the time' and 'be bored'.

× Umm, sometimes it does.

✓ Umm, sometimes I do.

Pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to the action; the speaker (I) should be the subject performing the action. Use 'I do' to mean 'I take photos sometimes'.

× I may take photos of scanner outside the window, outside the uh, in the car, because it helps me have the memory.

✓ I may take photos of the scenery outside the window in the car because it helps me keep memories.

'Scanner' is a wrong word; correct is 'scenery' (noun meaning landscape). 'Have the memory' is unnatural; use 'keep memories' or 'have memories'. Remove redundant 'outside the' and place 'in the car' correctly. Also remove unnecessary commas. Suggestion: use 'scenery' and 'keep memories'.

× Actually, I, umm, I love mountains because, uh, the air and the atmosphere of mountains are very calm, especially in autumn and in the spring.

✓ Actually, I love the mountains because the air and atmosphere there are very calm, especially in autumn and spring.

Use definite article 'the' with 'mountains' when speaking generally about a particular landscape. 'Atmosphere of mountains' is awkward; use 'atmosphere there'. Also 'in the spring' can be simplified to 'spring'. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'air and atmosphere ... are'.

× I love hiking with my family around with my classmates.

✓ I love hiking with my family and with my classmates.

The phrase 'with my family around with my classmates' is ungrammatical and confusing. Separate the ideas with 'and' to show two groups. Alternatively, specify if you mean 'my family and my classmates together' or 'either with family or classmates'.

× It was.

✓ It was great.

The sentence 'It was.' is incomplete and vague. Add an adjective to complete the thought, such as 'great', 'wonderful', or 'relaxing', depending on intended meaning.