Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, avoid unnecessary background (e.g. 'Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam') unless relevant, reduce hesitations and filler words, and use correct vocabulary (e.g. 'rooftop' instead of 'tobiting'). Use one or two supporting details and a linking word for coherence.

例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a large shopping mall with a rooftop terrace and several modern office skyscrapers, which makes the area feel lively.

提案: Answer directly and keep tense and form consistent. Use a clear topic sentence (e.g. 'Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings'), avoid filler words, and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g. 'for example', 'because'). Use correct grammar (e.g. 'I quite enjoy taking photos of buildings' and 'I went up to enjoy the view').

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings because I find their shapes and details interesting. For example, I took many photos of Landmark 72 last year because it is the tallest tower in Hanoi, and I went up to capture the panoramic view from the observation deck.

提案: Be specific and use correct names and vocabulary. Start with a direct answer, correct factual claims (e.g. check the building name and whether it is the tallest in the region), avoid repetition and filler, and link reasons clearly (e.g. 'because' and 'and also'). Provide one clear supporting detail or reason.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Landmark 81 in Ho Chi Minh City because it is one of the tallest buildings in Vietnam and offers observation decks and restaurants. I think the views and tourist facilities there would be very interesting to explore.

提案: Give a structured, balanced response with correct linking phrases ('on the one hand... on the other hand...'). Reduce hesitations and correct vocabulary (e.g. 'tall building', 'pool', 'stairs'). Keep sentences concise and provide specific examples of pros and cons.

例: It depends. On the one hand, living in a tall building can be convenient because many have facilities like a gym and a swimming pool. On the other hand, it can be inconvenient if the lifts break down or if you prefer quick access to the street, since some apartments are high up.

× Of course, near my home, which in Hanoi is the capital of Vietnam, has many tall buildings like an uh, supermarket, which has the tobiting up on it, uh, and also many other skyscrapers.

✓ Of course. Near my home, Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam, there are many tall buildings, such as a supermarket with a rooftop billboard and many other skyscrapers.

This sentence has sentence structure problems and a 'there be' issue: the clause 'near my home ... has many tall buildings' wrongly omits a subject for 'has' and mixes appositive information incorrectly. Use 'Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam,' as an appositive and the existential 'there are' to state existence. Also correct unclear phrase 'tobiting up on it' to 'a rooftop billboard' for clarity.

× Honestly, I quite loved taking photos building because I found them interesting.

✓ Honestly, I quite like taking photos of buildings because I find them interesting.

The original uses past tense 'loved' and 'found' which conflicts with a general habit; use present tense 'like' and 'find' for habitual actions. Also add the preposition 'of' after 'photos' and pluralize 'building' to 'buildings' to match general reference.

× Like uh, I once took many pictures of the Landmark 72 because I've heard that it was the highest tower in Hanoi and also I tried to go up and see the view in the tower.

✓ For example, I once took many pictures of Landmark 72 because I had heard that it was the tallest tower in Hanoi, and I also tried to go up to see the view from the tower.

Change 'Like uh' to 'For example' for clarity. Use past perfect 'had heard' to show a prior belief before visiting. Use 'tallest' (superlative) and 'go up to see the view from the tower' corrects prepositions: 'up to' and 'from' rather than 'in'.

× Interesting question. So I think that if I have a chance I would like to visit a landmark Eddy in Ho Chi Minh City because I've learned that it is the highest building in the Southeast Asia and also it is a famous attracti attractions for tourists when visiting the city.

✓ Interesting question. I think that if I have the chance, I would like to visit Landmark 81 in Ho Chi Minh City because I have learned that it is the tallest building in Southeast Asia, and it is a famous attraction for tourists visiting the city.

Fixed sentence structure and article use: 'the chance' is the correct phrase. Replace 'a landmark Eddy' with a plausible name 'Landmark 81' to be grammatical. Use 'tallest' and remove the article before 'Southeast Asia'. Correct 'attracti attractions' to 'a famous attraction' and simplify 'for tourists when visiting' to 'for tourists visiting'.

× It depends, you know, on the first hand, living in the tall building also gives you some extra convenience like a free gym in the pool which come with it.

✓ It depends. On the one hand, living in a tall building also gives you some extra conveniences, like a free gym and a pool that come with it.

Use the idiom 'on the one hand'. Use 'a tall building' (article) and plural 'conveniences'. Use 'gym and a pool' and correct verb agreement 'that come' because plural noun 'gym and pool' require 'come'.

× But uh, on the other hand, living on the toy building will uh, less, less comfortable because you have to go up to the stair every day.

✓ But on the other hand, living in a tall building can be less comfortable because you may have to climb the stairs every day.

Correct 'toy building' to 'tall building'. Use 'in' rather than 'on' for buildings. Use 'can be' for possibility and 'may have to' for obligation. Use 'climb the stairs' (plural) instead of 'go up to the stair'.