Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating ideas and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes. There is a tall building near my home called Lion Shoppers. It’s a shopping mall that also has a gym and a cinema, so it’s very convenient for both shopping and entertainment.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and give a specific reason and example. Use linking words for clarity and correct grammar (avoid awkward modal combinations and redundancy). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings when I notice interesting architectural details. For example, I photographed a century-old library last month because I liked its ornate façade and unusual windows.

提案: Answer directly, then explain briefly why you want to visit and give a specific reason. Fix tense and article mistakes, and remove filler words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'although' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the City Center in Motijheel. Although I haven’t had the chance to go inside because it’s mainly an office building with restricted access, I’m curious to see its interior design and panoramic views.

提案: Start with a clear statement, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Remove hesitations and correct word choice (e.g., 'live' not 'leave'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: Yes, I would love to live on a high floor, ideally above the 15th or 20th floor. I enjoy the views from my current ninth-floor apartment, so living higher would give me even better scenery and a sense of peace.

× Yes, there is a tall building close to my home called Lion Shoppers.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings close to my home; one is called Lion Shoppers.

The original sentence starts with 'Yes, there is a tall building' which implies a single building, but the question asked 'Are there tall buildings near your home?' so the correct structure uses 'there are' for plural. Use 'one is called' to introduce a specific example.

× It is a shopping mall and also contains a gym and a cinema hall, which makes it more convenient for shopping and entertainment.

✓ It is a shopping mall and contains a gym and a cinema, which makes it convenient for shopping and entertainment.

Use 'a cinema' instead of 'a cinema hall' for natural collocation. Omit the second 'also' and 'more' to avoid redundancy. 'Which makes it convenient' correctly refers to the mall's features.

× I take photos of buildings when I see a different kinds of architectural creativity then I should also I must take those buildings photos as though it was not my habit, but I love to do it.

✓ I take photos of buildings when I see different kinds of architectural creativity; I must take photos of those buildings even though it is not my habit, because I love doing it.

Multiple issues: 'a different kinds' is incorrect; use 'different kinds' (no article). Replace 'then' with appropriate connector and remove repetitive modal verbs. Use 'even though it is not my habit' for contrast. Use 'love doing it' (gerund) for natural expression.

× Yes, the building name is City Center which is in the Motijheel.

✓ Yes, the building's name is City Center, which is in Motijheel.

Use possessive form 'the building's name' or 'the name of the building' and remove the definite article before 'Motijheel' unless the place requires it. Add commas to set off the relative clause.

× As I have an I had never get the opportunity to enter the building because it is a restricted place.

✓ I have never had the opportunity to enter the building because it is a restricted place.

The original mixes present perfect and past forms incorrectly. Use present perfect 'have never had' to express an experience up to now. Use 'enter' as base form after 'opportunity to'.

× The place uh the city center is mostly used as office so I had not get the permission to enter this building.

✓ The City Center is mostly used as office space, so I have not gotten permission to enter this building.

Improve structure by removing filler 'uh' and capitalizing the name. Use 'office space' for natural noun phrase. Use present perfect 'have not gotten' (or 'have not received') to indicate a current lack of permission; 'had not get' is ungrammatical.

× Yes, it is my dream to live in the top floor of a building.

✓ Yes, it is my dream to live on the top floor of a building.

Use the preposition 'on' with floors: 'on the top floor' not 'in the top floor'.

× Top floor means I want to leave uh, more than 15th floor or 20th floor as I already live in 9th floor so I get the view of that floor.

✓ By 'top floor' I mean I want to live above the 15th or 20th floor; I already live on the 9th floor, so I know the view is great.

Multiple preposition errors: use 'live on the 9th floor' and 'above the 15th/20th floor'. 'Leave' is incorrect — should be 'live'. Use 'the' with ordinal numbers and parallel phrasing. Also clarify 'so I know the view is great' for logical result.

× That is amazing.

✓ That would be amazing.

In context of a hypothetical desire, 'That would be amazing' better matches the conditional or future-oriented sense. 'That is amazing' is acceptable but 'would be' is more natural when speaking about a hoped-for situation.