Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Antwort natürlicher und präziser formulieren; Füllwörter vermeiden und klare Struktur verwenden. Nenne ein kurzes Hauptstatement, gefolgt von 1–2 konkreten Details (z. B. Entfernung oder Art der wenigen hohen Gebäude). Verwende Verbindungswörter wie "however" oder "but" sparsam und korrekt.

例: No, there are no tall buildings near my home. I live in a small residential town where most people live in low houses. The only taller buildings, such as a medical clinic and a dental office, are located about 10–15 minutes away by car.

提案: Antwort strukturieren und Details präzisieren; unnötige Wiederholungen ('so so, so') weglassen. Erkläre kurz warum Gebäude inspirierend sind und nenne ein konkretes Beispiel (Ort, style) als Unterstützung. Nutze Verbindungswörter wie "for example" und "because" korrekt.

例: Yes, I often photograph buildings that I find inspiring because of their design. For example, when I visited Prague last year I photographed the Gothic facades and colorful Baroque houses because their details sparked my creativity. At home, I mainly photograph older brick buildings in the town center for their textures.

提案: Klarere, korrekte Informationen geben; Subjekt und Ort richtig benennen und Füllwörter reduzieren. Beginne mit einer direkten Aussage und füge ein oder zwei spezifische Gründe hinzu, warum du das Gebäude besuchen möchtest (z. B. Architekturstil, Innenraumdetails).

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Sagrada Família in Barcelona. I have only seen it from the outside, and I want to go inside to admire Gaudí’s unique architecture and the stunning stained-glass windows, which I heard create a beautiful light effect.

提案: Direkte Stellungnahme zuerst, dann begründen; vermeide Wiederholungen und unklare Formulierungen. Gib konkrete Gründe (z. B. Aussicht, Lage, Größe der Wohnung) und nutze verbindende Ausdrücke wie "because" oder "for example" korrekt.

例: It depends, but I would like to live in a tall building in a city like New York. For example, living in a high-rise would give me great views of the skyline and easy access to shops and public transport, which I find very convenient.

× Actually, no, because I live in a small town in which people live in their houses and there are so many houses near, you know, and there are some tall buildings far away that are doctors and dentists.

✓ Actually, no, because I live in a small town where people live in houses and there are many houses nearby, and there are some tall buildings far away with doctors' and dentists' offices.

The sentence misuses prepositions and phrases: 'in which' is awkward for location -> use 'where'; 'their houses' is unnecessary -> use 'houses'; 'near' should be 'nearby' as an adverb; 'that are doctors and dentists' incorrectly describes buildings -> use 'with doctors\' and dentists\' offices' to show the buildings contain those services. Also possessive apostrophes clarify ownership. Improve by choosing correct location prepositions and noun phrases and by placing modifiers next to the words they modify.

× Honestly, I take photos from beautiful buildings that inspire me.

✓ Honestly, I take photos of beautiful buildings that inspire me.

The verb 'take photos' normally uses the preposition 'of' to indicate the subject of the photograph, not 'from'. 'From' suggests origin, which is incorrect here. Use 'take photos of' to be natural and grammatically correct.

× For example, in other countries or cities are so many beautiful buildings that inspire me, that makes me so so, so creative.

✓ For example, in other countries or cities there are so many beautiful buildings that inspire me and make me very creative.

The original word order is incorrect ('in other countries or cities are so many...'); English requires subject before verb here, so use 'there are'. Also the relative clause 'that inspire me, that makes me...' incorrectly mixes singular and plural subjects; 'buildings' is plural so use 'make' not 'makes'. Replace repetitive 'so so, so' with 'very' for clarity. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct clause linkage.

× And yeah, it protects me also.

✓ And yeah, they also protect me.

The pronoun reference is unclear: 'it' probably refers to buildings in plural, so use 'they' and plural verb 'protect'. The original is grammatically a complete clause but has incorrect pronoun agreement; ensure pronoun number matches its antecedent.

× So in my town, for example, when I see buildings that inspire me and are beautiful and are precious.

✓ So in my town, for example, I take photos when I see buildings that inspire me and are beautiful and valuable.

The original is a sentence fragment lacking a main clause (no main verb for the subordinate 'when' clause). Add a main clause such as 'I take photos' to complete the sentence. Also 'precious' is odd for buildings; use 'valuable' or 'beautiful' depending on meaning.

× Yeah, and Barcelona is a beautiful building named Sagrada Familia.

✓ Well, the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona is a beautiful building.

The phrase incorrectly treats 'Barcelona' as the building; reorder to 'the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona' to correctly identify the building and its location. This fixes the sentence structure and clarity.

× I saw the few, uh, from outside of the building, but I didn't visit it.

✓ I saw it briefly from outside the building, but I didn't visit it.

'Saw the few' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'saw it a little' or 'saw it briefly'. Use past tense 'saw' correctly with an object 'it'. Also 'from outside of the building' -> 'from outside the building' is more natural. Keep past tense consistent.

× I didn't go, umm, inside.

✓ I didn't go inside.

This is a minor correction removing filler words. The past tense negative 'didn't go' is correct; remove unnecessary commas and hesitation sounds for clarity.

× And actually I want to go inside and see how beautiful it is because it inspires me from the outside.

✓ And actually I want to go inside and see how beautiful it is because it already inspires me from the outside.

Tense is acceptable but adding 'already' clarifies that the external view currently inspires. 'Inspires me from the outside' is awkward but acceptable; rephrasing to 'inspires me from the outside' is kept with small improvement. Ensure consistent present tense 'it is'.

× And actually it's like, yeah, it's like more.

✓ Actually, it's even more impressive inside.

The original is vague and structurally poor. Replace with a clear comparative statement matching context: 'it's even more impressive inside.' This completes the thought and improves clarity.

× Well, it depends on the buildings and which country or city.

✓ Well, it depends on the building and the country or city.

Use singular 'building' to match 'depends on' in general contexts or keep plural but adjust article use; 'which' is unnecessary here. The modal/verb choice 'depends on' is fine; this correction improves noun usage and article consistency.

× For example, in New York, I would rather live there in these apartments, in these buildings because they're so beautiful and everyone created their beautiful and dream apartments.

✓ For example, in New York, I would prefer to live in those apartments in these buildings because they're so beautiful and everyone has created their own beautiful dream apartments.

'Would rather live there in these apartments' is awkward; use 'would prefer to live in those apartments'. Add auxiliary 'has' for present perfect 'has created' or simple present 'has' is acceptable; 'their beautiful and dream apartments' should be 'their own beautiful dream apartments' for possessive clarity and natural adjective order. Fix word order and pronoun use.

× So I would also like to live there and these tall buildings.

✓ So I would also like to live there in those tall buildings.

Pronoun and preposition placement is incorrect: 'live there and these tall buildings' is ungrammatical. Use 'live there in those tall buildings' to show location and refer back to previously mentioned buildings.

× And it's pretty interesting to live there, to have a beautiful view from New York.

✓ And it's pretty interesting to live there and have a beautiful view of New York.

Use parallel structure 'to live there and have' or simpler 'to live there and have'. The phrase 'view from New York' is incorrect for meaning; use 'view of New York' to indicate what is being seen. Ensure parallel verbs and correct preposition for view.