Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, fluency and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct article use and word order (e.g., 'I live in the centre of Hanoi, so there are many tall buildings near my home'). Use one or two supporting details with linking words and avoid filler sounds. Be specific about locations and conveniences.

例: I live in the centre of Hanoi, so there are many tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a large shopping mall with a cinema and several office towers within a ten-minute walk, which makes it very convenient for shopping and entertainment.

提案: Provide a direct, concise response and then one or two specific reasons with linking words. Fix tense and word order, and avoid repetitions and fillers. Use phrases like 'I don't usually' and give an example of what you photograph instead.

例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings. Instead, I prefer photographing people and small details; for example, on holidays I often take quick snaps of friends and street scenes rather than architectural shots.

提案: Answer directly and organize chronologically: state the building you want to visit, explain why with specific reasons, and refer to past experience correctly. Remove fillers and correct tense errors (use past simple for past regrets).

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Disney castle in Tokyo Disneyland. I grew up loving Disney parks and regret missing it on a previous trip, so visiting the castle would be special because of its fairy-tale architecture and nostalgic value.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then two specific reasons using linking words. Correct plural/singular and article use (e.g., 'a tall building' and 'an apartment'). Be specific about why you prefer a low-rise house (space, garden, privacy).

例: No, I don't want to live in a tall building. I prefer a low-rise house of three or four storeys because it would give me more privacy and outdoor space for a garden, and it feels more suitable for family life.

× Yes, there are few tall buildings near my home because I'm living in a center of Hanoi in a district, so there has a lot of tall buildings.

✓ Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home because I live in the center of Hanoi in a district, so there are a lot of tall buildings.

Errors: 'are few' should be 'a few' to indicate some; 'I'm living' should be simple present 'I live' for a permanent situation; 'in a center of Hanoi in a district' is awkward — use 'in the center of Hanoi' and omit redundant 'in a district'; 'there has a lot of tall buildings' is incorrect; use 'there are a lot of tall buildings' for plural noun. Suggestion: Use 'a few' for a small number, simple present for habitual/permanent facts, and 'there are' with plural nouns.

× For example, it has a mall that has a cinema in there which is very convenient for me and it's umm include very.

✓ For example, there is a mall that has a cinema, which is very convenient for me.

Errors: 'it has a mall' is unclear; use 'there is a mall'. 'a cinema in there' should be 'a cinema' or 'a cinema there' — place 'there' after the verb if necessary. 'it's umm include very' is ungrammatical and unclear; remove filler words and incorrect verb 'include'. Suggestion: Use 'there is' to introduce existence, place subordinate clause after comma, and avoid fillers.

× To be honest, no, just because I'm really take pictures when sometimes when I take pictures I just always umm, take a quick snap of something adorable of myself.

✓ To be honest, no. I don't really take pictures; sometimes when I do I just take a quick snap of something adorable or of myself.

Errors: 'I'm really take pictures' mixes present continuous with base verb; correct form is 'I don't really take pictures' for negative habit. 'when sometimes when I take pictures' is redundant. 'just always umm, take' has wrong adverb order — 'always just take' or better 'sometimes I just take'. Suggestion: Use simple present for habits, avoid double time adverbs, and place adverbs (like 'always', 'sometimes') before main verbs.

× When I'm in vacations, building is not my interest so I'm done.

✓ When I'm on vacation, buildings are not my interest, so I am not interested in them.

Errors: 'in vacations' should be 'on vacation' (or 'on holidays'); 'building is not my interest' needs plural 'buildings' and better phrasing 'not my interest' → 'not of interest to me' or 'I'm not interested in buildings'; 'so I'm done' is informal and unclear — use 'so I am not interested in them'. Suggestion: Use correct preposition 'on' with 'vacation', match plural/singular, and use natural expressions for lack of interest.

× I'm not take a picture of it.

✓ I don't take pictures of them.

Errors: 'I'm not take' mixes present continuous and base verb; use simple present negative 'I don't take'. 'a picture of it' refers to buildings (plural) so use 'them' or 'pictures'. Suggestion: Use correct auxiliary 'do' for present simple negative and maintain number agreement.

× I don't know if this count but I would like to go into a Disney castle.

✓ I don't know if this counts, but I would like to visit a Disney castle.

Errors: 'if this count' needs third person singular 'counts'; 'go into a Disney castle' is awkward — 'visit a Disney castle' is more natural. Suggestion: Use correct verb form for 'this' (counts) and use 'visit' for going to tourist attractions.

× Umm Disney park was one of my favorite place to go and I really regret when in the past I'm going to Tokyo and I'm not going there.

✓ Disney Park was one of my favorite places to go and I really regret that when I went to Tokyo in the past I did not go there.

Errors: 'favorite place' should be plural 'favorite places' to match 'one of'; 'I really regret when in the past I'm going to Tokyo' mixes tenses and uses present continuous incorrectly. Use simple past 'when I went to Tokyo' and past negative 'I did not go there'. Suggestion: Keep past events in past tense and use 'regret that' + past perfect/simple past to describe missed opportunities.

× So my favorite building was a castle in Disney Park.

✓ So my favorite building was the castle in Disney Park.

Errors: Use definite article 'the' before 'castle' when referring to a specific prominent castle in the park. Suggestion: Use 'the' for unique or specific items within known places.

× I think my answer is no, because in my future I don't want to live in a tall buildings or in a apartments.

✓ I think my answer is no, because in the future I don't want to live in tall buildings or in apartments.

Errors: 'in my future' is better as 'in the future'; 'a tall buildings' mixes singular article with plural noun — remove 'a'; 'in a apartments' likewise wrong article. Suggestion: Match articles with countable nouns: no article + plural for general statement about buildings/apartments.

× My dream is that I have my own ground or floor house which just has a three or four Storey.

✓ My dream is to have my own ground-floor house that has just three or four storeys.

Errors: 'is that I have' awkward — use infinitive 'to have'; 'ground or floor house' should be 'ground-floor house' (compound adjective); 'which just has a three or four Storey' has wrong article 'a', wrong capitalization 'Storey', and singular 'Storey' instead of plural 'storeys' (or 'stories'). Suggestion: Use 'to have', hyphenate compound adjectives, and use plural for multiple storeys and correct capitalization.