Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy and incorrect collocations (e.g. “store buildings”, “scenic landscape” + “scenery” repeated). Add one or two specific details linked logically with a linking word.

例: Yes, there are several tall commercial buildings near my home. For example, a cluster of office blocks and shopping centers lines the main road, which creates an interesting skyline and gives me good opportunities to take photos when the light is right.

提案: Improve fluency and accuracy: avoid fillers (umm, uh), choose correct words (e.g. ‘historic’ or ‘storey’ houses, ‘vibrant colours’). Use one linking phrase and a specific reason or example to support your answer.

例: Yes, I often photograph buildings that catch my eye. For instance, I like shooting historic houses with unique facades and vibrant colours because their details make interesting compositions.

提案: Good content but correct grammar and specificity: remove small grammatical errors (“go to there”, “would be interesting”) and be precise about examples (e.g. ‘performances of classical music’ rather than ‘US classical performances’). Use a linking word to connect reasons and examples.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Sydney Opera House because its architecture is iconic and I enjoy live music. For example, I might take a guided tour to learn about the building’s history and then attend a classical music concert there.

提案: Make the response more structured and avoid repetition. Start with a clear statement of preference, give two specific reasons with linking words, and finish cleanly (avoid trailing off).

例: To be honest, I wouldn't want to live in a very tall building; I prefer low-rise houses because they tend to be quieter and usually have a small garden. However, I might consider a high-rise apartment if it offered good amenities, such as reliable elevators and soundproofing.

× Yes, there are many store buildings near my home, which makes my neighborhood become scenic landscape and is a great scenery for me to take a lot of photos with everyone.

✓ Yes, there are many store buildings near my home, which makes my neighborhood a scenic landscape and a great place for me to take photos with everyone.

The original mixes count/uncount and uses incorrect noun forms: 'scenic landscape' should follow 'makes my neighborhood' without 'become'; 'is a great scenery' is unidiomatic because 'scenery' is uncountable and not used with 'a'. Change to 'a great place' or 'great scenery' (without 'a'). Also 'take a lot of photos' shortened to 'take photos' for natural phrasing.

× I usually take photos of some thriving buildings that really captures my attention, like some umm, story story houses that umm, have unique design or uh, stretch color.

✓ I usually take photos of some thriving buildings that really capture my attention, like some, um, storybook houses that have unique designs or striking colors.

Subject-verb agreement with relative clause: 'buildings that really capture' needs plural verb 'capture' (not 'captures'). 'Story story' likely meant 'storybook'. 'Have unique design' should be 'have unique designs' (plural to match 'houses') and 'stretch color' is incorrect; 'striking colors' is a clear natural choice. Also fixed filler words and word forms for fluency.

× I want to go to there because the design is very unique and I love the music, so I would be interesting to see a concert there.

✓ I want to go there because the design is very unique and I love music, so I would be interested to see a concert there.

Use 'go there' not 'go to there' (redundant preposition). 'Love the music' is acceptable but 'love music' is more natural when speaking generally. 'I would be interesting to see' is incorrect: use the adjective 'interested' to describe the speaker (I would be interested to see) or 'I would be interested in seeing'.

× For example, I could join a guided tour and then watch US classical performances.

✓ For example, I could join a guided tour and then watch US classical performances.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but may need clarity: 'US classical performances' is fine if referring to performances from the United States; if the speaker means 'classical performances' in Sydney, 'Australian classical performances' would be clearer. No pronoun error detected; original retained.

× Well to be honest, I wouldn't really really like to live in a very tall building.

✓ Well, to be honest, I wouldn't really like to live in a very tall building.

Double 'really' is informal redundancy; grammatically acceptable but awkward. No modal error beyond repetition; corrected for natural usage by removing duplicate 'really'.

× I prefer low rise houses because they are usually quieter and I like having a small garden and tall buildings can be noisy and crowded.

✓ I prefer low-rise houses because they are usually quieter and I like having a small garden; tall buildings can be noisy and crowded.

Hyphenate 'low-rise' as a compound adjective modifying 'houses'. Sentence run-on fixed by splitting with a semicolon for clarity. Grammar otherwise fine.

× However, I might consider a high rise if it had a good elevator and.

✓ However, I might consider a high-rise building if it had a good elevator.

The original ends with an incomplete clause 'and.' Remove the trailing 'and' and add 'building' after 'high-rise' or hyphenate 'high-rise' for adjective use. Also keep tense consistent: 'might consider' with 'if it had' is acceptable (subjunctive/conditional).