Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar, and use clearer linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers like “Uh,” fix article and noun errors (e.g., “a few,” “high-rise apartments”), and limit to 2–4 sentences. Use one or two specific details (e.g., number or types of buildings) to support your statement.

例: Yes. There are several tall buildings near my home because I live in the city. My neighborhood has high-rise apartments and office towers, and the view from my window looks very modern and lively.

提案: Correct vocabulary and tense errors, avoid repetition, and use linking words to connect ideas. Replace incorrect words (e.g., “bedding” → “buildings”), use present simple consistently (“I often take”, “I post”), and give one specific example of a building or platform where you post photos.

例: Yes, I often take photos of interesting buildings when I travel. I especially enjoy photographing historic and traditional architecture, and I usually post my best shots on Instagram to remember the places I have visited.

提案: Make the response natural and grammatically correct, avoid redundancy, and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct articles and prepositions (“in Paris”, “see it in person”), remove repeated statements, and give a brief reason or specific activity you would do there.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because it is an iconic and majestic landmark. It appears in many films and photos, and I would like to see it in person and take some pictures from the top.

提案: Be concise, fix grammar and word choice, and use linking words to connect benefits. Use correct phrases (“especially at night when the city lights are on”), avoid vague phrases like “all type of the facilities,” and give one or two specific advantages (e.g., gym, security, view).

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building, especially at night when the city lights look beautiful. Tall buildings usually offer conveniences like a gym and 24-hour security, which make daily life comfortable and safe.

× Yes, there are quite few tall buildings near to me where I live since I live in the city.

✓ Yes, there are quite a few tall buildings near me where I live since I live in the city.

Use 'near me' not 'near to me'; also 'quite a few' needs an article 'a'. The preposition 'near' does not require 'to' when followed by pronouns. Add 'a' for correct quantifier usage.

× Moreover, my neighborhood has a rise apartment as well as the office towers.

✓ Moreover, my neighborhood has high-rise apartments as well as office towers.

'Rise apartment' is incorrect word order and form. Use the adjective 'high-rise' before the noun and pluralize 'apartments' to agree with 'office towers'. This fixes adjective placement and plurality.

× The view from my window includes all type of the tall buildings which makes the area really lively and it feel very modern.

✓ The view from my window includes all types of tall buildings, which makes the area really lively and makes it feel very modern.

Use plural 'types' not 'type', remove unnecessary definite article before 'tall buildings', and ensure subject-verb agreement: 'which makes' and 'makes it feel'. Also add a comma before 'which'.

× Yes, I often take photos of the tall bedding, especially whenever I travel.

✓ Yes, I often take photos of tall buildings, especially whenever I travel.

'Bedding' is a wrong word; should be 'buildings'. No preposition change needed. Correct the noun to match meaning.

× I find both historical architecture as well as the old traditional architecture quite interesting.

✓ I find both historical and traditional architecture quite interesting.

Redundant phrasing 'old traditional' and awkward 'both ... as well as' should be simplified to 'both ... and'. This makes sentence concise and grammatically parallel.

× Moreover, I capture the photos through the camera and then I used to post these photos on the social media because I think this is the best way to remember the place I have visited.

✓ Moreover, I capture photos with my camera and then I post these photos on social media because I think this is the best way to remember the places I have visited.

Use 'capture photos with my camera' (preposition and article fixed), use present habitual 'post' not 'used to post' to match 'I often take' earlier, remove 'the' before 'social media', and pluralize 'places' for consistency. 'Used to' implies a past habit, which conflicts with present-tense context.

× Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in the Paris one day because it's such an iconic and the majestic landmark.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris one day because it's such an iconic and majestic landmark.

Do not use 'the' before 'Paris'. Use either 'an iconic and majestic landmark' without repeating 'the'. Remove extra article and redundant 'the'.

× It appears in so many films as well as in the photographs that I would like to really grateful to see it in a person and take some photos myself in the future.

✓ It appears in so many films and photographs that I would really like to see it in person and take some photos myself in the future.

Change 'as well as in' to 'and' for simpler coordination, use 'really like to' instead of 'really grateful to', and correct 'in a person' to 'in person'. These fix preposition and collocation errors.

× And I would visit it one day.

✓ I will visit it one day.

Using 'would' here is incorrect for a future intention; use 'will' for a firm future intention. 'Would' is conditional or past-of-will.

× Yes, I would like to live in the tall building specially at the night when the all the city lights are on.

✓ Yes, I would like to live in a tall building, especially at night when all the city lights are on.

Use 'especially' not 'specially' in this context, use 'at night' not 'at the night', remove extra 'the' before 'all', and use 'a tall building' for a general desire.

× It feels very amazing.

✓ It feels amazing.

'Very amazing' is awkward; 'amazing' alone is sufficient. Use 'very' only with gradable adjectives; 'amazing' is strong enough without 'very'.

× Moreover, the plus point is that living in the tall building includes all type of the facilities and the modern securities through that which we can feel very comfortable and convenient.

✓ Moreover, the advantage is that living in a tall building includes all types of facilities and modern security measures, which makes us feel very comfortable and comfortable and convenient.

Use 'advantage' instead of 'plus point' for natural English, 'a tall building' for a general noun, 'all types of facilities' (plural 'types'), 'modern security measures' is more natural than 'modern securities', and use 'which makes us feel very comfortable and convenient' but avoid repeating 'comfortable' twice. Suggest revised: '...which makes us feel very comfortable and convenient.'