Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and redundant phrasing; give a concise topic sentence plus one specific detail. Avoid repeating obvious information (e.g., “capital city of Uzbekistan” then “Tashkent”). Use one linking phrase if adding detail.

例: Yes. I live in Tashkent, so there are many tall residential and office towers near my home. For example, a new business complex with glass façades was built last year close to my apartment.

提案: Make the response grammatically correct and more precise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your current habit, then give one brief reason and an example. Avoid filler words and incorrect word choices (e.g., “picturesquakes” is wrong).

例: Not anymore. I used to photograph modern buildings, but now I prefer taking pictures of natural scenes because I enjoy landscapes and wildlife more, for example when I visit parks or the countryside.

提案: Be specific and fluent: name the building or describe it clearly, then give one or two concise reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., “Not only do I want to visit, but I also want to buy an apartment”).

例: Yes. I would like to visit the Next One Tower, which is currently the tallest building in Tashkent. In fact, I hope to buy an apartment there because it offers great views and modern facilities for my small family.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. State your position clearly, then give two specific benefits using linking words. Fix awkward phrases (e.g., “fountain musics” -> “fountain shows” or “musical fountains”).

例: Yes, I do. I want to buy an apartment in the Next One Tower because I would enjoy panoramic views of the city and the musical fountain shows in the square below.

× Of course, as I live, uh, in the city, capital city of Uzbekistan, which means Tashkent, there are a lot of high towers and buildings here.

✓ Of course, as I live in the capital city of Uzbekistan, Tashkent, there are a lot of tall towers and buildings here.

Subject-verb agreement is actually correct with 'there are', but the sentence has redundancy and word choice issues. Replace 'city, capital city of Uzbekistan, which means Tashkent' with 'the capital city of Uzbekistan, Tashkent' for clarity and fluency; use 'tall' instead of 'high' when describing towers and buildings in this context. Suggestion: restructure long noun phrases to avoid confusion and ensure the verb agrees with the plural subject 'towers and buildings'.

× I used to but now I don't really into taking photos of high buildings uh such as like business center, city centers, malls, hotels.

✓ I used to, but now I'm not really into taking photos of tall buildings, such as business centers, shopping malls, and hotels.

The original mixes past habit 'I used to' with present tense phrasing incorrectly. Use the contraction 'I'm not really into' to express current dislike. Also correct countable noun forms ('business centers', 'shopping malls') and word choice ('tall' is more natural than 'high' here). Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and use 'be + into' to express current interest.

× I only enjoy taking pictures of natural picturesquakes.

✓ I only enjoy taking pictures of natural scenery.

The word 'picturesquakes' is nonstandard and appears to be a confused form of 'picturesque' or 'picturesque places'. Use the noun 'scenery' to express natural scenes. Also avoid repeating 'pictures' twice. Suggestion: choose the correct noun form (scenery, landscapes, or picturesque places).

× Yes, of course. Uh, there's a building named next one. I want to visit.

✓ Yes, of course. There's a building called 'Next One' that I want to visit.

Sentence structure is awkward: 'named next one' is incorrect. Use 'called' for a building name and include the relative clause 'that I want to visit' to connect ideas. If the building's name is Next One, capitalize and quote it. Suggestion: use 'called' or 'named' followed by the proper noun and attach a defining relative clause.

× Not only I want to visit, but also I want to buy an apartment for our small family, uh, in this building.

✓ Not only do I want to visit it, but I also want to buy an apartment in this building for our small family.

The phrasing 'Not only I want' is incorrect; use the auxiliary 'do' for inversion after 'Not only'. Also move 'for our small family' after 'apartment' for natural word order. Suggestion: use 'Not only do I ... but I also ...' structure for emphasis and correct word order.

× It is the highest tower building in Tashkent.

✓ It is the tallest tower in Tashkent.

Use 'tallest' (superlative adjective) instead of 'highest' when describing buildings; 'tower building' is redundant — use 'tower' or 'building'. Ensure adjective form matches the noun. Suggestion: prefer 'tallest tower' or 'tallest building'.

× Of course, as I mentioned before, I want to buy an apartment in the next one, which is the highest building in Tashkent.

✓ Of course, as I mentioned before, I want to buy an apartment in Next One, which is the tallest building in Tashkent.

Maintain consistent present tense 'want to buy' is fine; adjust the building name formatting and replace 'highest' with 'tallest' and remove 'the next one' ambiguity by using the name. Suggestion: be clear about the noun phrase and use the correct superlative adjective.

× I want to enjoy view from the like from the above and see the fountain musics and.

✓ I want to enjoy the view from above and see the fountain shows and music.

Original has awkward adverb placement and incomplete phrases ('fountain musics and.'). Use 'the view from above' (preposition phrase) and 'fountain shows and music' to convey meaning. Place adverbs and prepositional phrases where they clearly modify the verb. Suggestion: complete the phrase and replace unclear words with accurate nouns like 'shows' or 'performances'.