Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundant words, and correct singular/plural and awkward phrasing. Add one specific detail to enrich the answer and use a linking word for flow.

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home because I live in a rural area. Instead, the area around me is mostly farmland and large fields, so the landscape is open and quiet.

提案: Use a direct topic sentence and correct verb forms. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “with my cup of tea” is odd) and explain why you enjoy it with one concrete example. Use a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do sometimes take photos of buildings, especially when I travel. For example, I like to photograph old churches and market halls because their decorative details tell a story about local history, so the images are both interesting and meaningful.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar (include missing words). Give a specific reason why you want to visit and connect it coherently using a linking word. Clarify the relationship between the library and the university and avoid confusing tense.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Chaquang Ville Library in Hanoi because it is part of the University of Science and Technology and has a historic reading hall. I’ve heard the architecture is beautiful and the archive contains rare books that would help with my research.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and fix grammar and word order. Explain one or two specific reasons concisely and use a linking word to show consequence. Avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall apartment building because I don’t have much time for housework; therefore, a smaller apartment would require less cleaning and maintenance.

× Instead my surroundings are more mostly farmland or many large field.

✓ Instead, my surroundings are mostly farmland or large fields.

The original mixes 'more mostly' which is incorrect and uses singular 'field' after 'many'. Use 'mostly' to indicate mainly, and plural 'fields' with no 'many' needed; include a comma after 'Instead' for clarity.

× Just taking photo of buildings with my cup of tea.

✓ I just take photos of buildings while having a cup of tea.

The original lacks a finite verb and uses the -ing form without an auxiliary. Use a simple present tense 'I just take' to match habitual action and plural 'photos'. 'While having' links the simultaneous action more naturally.

× I especially enjoy photographing our architecture when I travel since the details tell me a love story and make great pictures.

✓ I especially enjoy photographing architecture when I travel because the details tell a love story and make great pictures.

'Our architecture' is odd unless referring to a specific shared architecture; 'architecture' without 'our' is more natural. 'Since' can be used but 'because' is clearer for cause. 'Tell me a love story' is awkward; 'tell a love story' is more idiomatic.

× Yes, I would like visit Chaquangville Library in Hanoi.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit Chaquangville Library in Hanoi.

After 'would like' the verb requires the infinitive with 'to'. The missing 'to' makes the sentence ungrammatical.

× University of Science and Technology is a historic university library where I complete my research.

✓ The University of Science and Technology is a historic university library where I complete my research.

Proper nouns that include 'University' usually require the definite article 'the'. Also 'complete my research' is present tense; if referring to current ongoing work, consider 'am completing my research' for ongoing action.

× Yes I would, I prefer living in apartment because I don't have my time for housework and a smaller place means keep means less upkeep and cleaning.

✓ Yes, I would. I prefer living in an apartment because I don't have time for housework, and a smaller place means less upkeep and cleaning.

'in apartment' needs the article 'an apartment'. 'I don't have my time' is incorrect; use 'I don't have time'. Remove duplicated 'means' and add commas to separate clauses. These corrections fix article usage and word choice.