Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct, start with a clear topic sentence, and keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Use correct quantifiers and word order, and give one specific detail about how they affect you. Replace vague phrases like "someone near my home" and correct number order (e.g. "40 to 50-storey").

例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home, mainly high-rise apartment blocks of around 40 to 50 storeys. They are so close that they partly block the city view from my window, which I find a little disappointing.

提案: Be direct and use present simple for habitual actions. Avoid redundancy and repeated words. Use linking words to contrast preferences (e.g. 'rather than') and give one clear reason why you'd photograph a famous building. Correct grammar: 'I don't prefer' -> 'I don't usually prefer' and 'because of its because it is' -> 'because it is'.

例: I don't usually take photos of buildings; I prefer photographing mountains and rivers. However, if I visited Dubai, I would photograph the Burj Khalifa because it is an iconic and extraordinarily tall building.

提案: Give a clear, direct topic sentence and use correct conditional forms. Avoid repetition ('as I stated earlier'). Provide one or two specific reasons for visiting and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar: 'if I went abroad' -> 'if I went abroad' or 'if I visited Dubai'; 'one of the iconic building' -> 'one of the most iconic buildings'.

例: Yes. If I visited Dubai, I would love to go to the Burj Khalifa because I want to see its impressive architecture and the panoramic views from the observation deck.

提案: Answer directly and concisely, use present simple for general preferences, and avoid filler words ('uh'). State one clear reason and one supporting detail. Use natural phrasing such as 'I'm afraid of heights' and 'I prefer low-rise buildings because they feel more comfortable and safer.'

例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building. I'm afraid of heights, so I prefer low-rise buildings because they feel safer and more comfortable to me.

× Yes, there are a large number of tall buildings in my city.

✓ Yes, there are a large number of tall buildings in my city.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses plural 'buildings' with 'a large number of'. Keep plural form.

× Someone near my home there are tall apartments, approximately 50 to 40 Storey buildings, but partly they block the view of the city from my window.

✓ Near my home there are tall apartment buildings of approximately 40 to 50 storeys, but they partly block the view of the city from my window.

Original sentence has incorrect word order and awkward phrases ('Someone near my home there are...'). Reorder to start with location 'Near my home' and use 'apartment buildings' (compound noun). Use the normal numeric order '40 to 50' and lowercase 'storeys'. Remove redundant commas and clarify subject-verb placement.

× To be honest, I didn't prefer taking photograph of buildings instead of that I love to click pictures of mountains and rivers.

✓ To be honest, I didn't prefer taking photographs of buildings; instead, I love to take pictures of mountains and rivers.

Use plural 'photographs' and correct verb forms: 'didn't prefer' is acceptable but pair with 'to take' rather than 'taking' after preference; 'instead' should link clauses. 'Click pictures' is informal; 'take pictures' is more natural. Replace 'instead of that' with 'instead,'.

× But if I went abroad such as Dubai, I will prefer to take picture of Burj Khalifa because of its because it is iconic building and one of the tallest building in the world.

✓ But if I went abroad to a place such as Dubai, I would prefer to take a picture of the Burj Khalifa because it is an iconic building and one of the tallest buildings in the world.

Conditional sentence mixed tenses: use second conditional structure 'If I went... I would prefer' for hypothetical situations. Use articles: 'a picture' and 'the Burj Khalifa'. Use 'an iconic' before vowel sound. Make 'buildings' plural. Remove repeated 'because of its' and simplify to 'because it is'.

× As I stated earlier, if I went to abroad such as Dubai, I would love to visit Burj Khalifa so that I can see its beauty and it is one of the iconic building in the world.

✓ As I stated earlier, if I went abroad to a place such as Dubai, I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa so that I could see its beauty, as it is one of the iconic buildings in the world.

Use correct conditional 'if I went... I would'. Remove 'to abroad' — say 'abroad' or 'go abroad to'. Use article 'the Burj Khalifa'. Change 'can' to 'could' to match conditional. Use 'one of the iconic buildings' (plural) and add a linking phrase for clarity.

× Uh, to be honest, no, I didn't wanted to live, uh, in tall buildings because I am afraid of heights, uh, in, uh, rather than that I prefer a low rise building so that I feel the comfort and did not feel, uh, the feeling of falling or feeling.

✓ Uh, to be honest, no, I don't want to live in tall buildings because I am afraid of heights. Rather, I prefer a low-rise building so that I feel comfortable and do not have the feeling of falling.

Incorrect verb forms: use present simple 'I don't want' for current preference rather than past 'didn't wanted'. 'Wanted' is wrong after 'didn't' (should be 'want'). Use 'low-rise' with a hyphen and 'feel comfortable' (adjective) instead of 'feel the comfort'. Use 'do not have the feeling of falling' for correct negation and clarity. Remove filler words and fix sentence structure.