Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, accurate and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct vocabulary (use 'blocks' or 'buildings' not 'plants'), and add one specific detail. Use one linking phrase if needed.

例: Yes. There are several tall apartment buildings near my home; a few of them are around 30 to 40 storeys high, which blocks part of our city view.

提案: Answer directly and avoid long hesitations and inaccuracies. Give a clear reason and one specific example. Use correct names (Burj Khalifa) and avoid contradictory phrasing. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Not usually. I prefer photographing natural scenery like mountains and rivers, but when I visit cities such as Dubai I do take pictures of the Burj Khalifa because it is an iconic, very tall building.

提案: Be factually accurate and give a clear reason. If you mean a landmark in Paris, choose the correct one (Eiffel Tower) and explain why you want to visit. Use one linking word for coherence.

例: In the future I'd like to visit Paris to see the Eiffel Tower because it is an architectural icon and offers great views of the city.

提案: Clarify your reason and use correct words. Say clearly if you are afraid of heights, not 'fights', and avoid fragmented sentences. Give one specific consequence of living in a tall building to support your opinion.

例: No, I wouldn't. I'm afraid of heights, so I prefer low-rise homes because they make me feel safer and more comfortable; otherwise I worry about falling or feeling dizzy on high floors.

× There are, uh, tall apartments near my home, Uh, and there are some plants which are 30 or 40 floors.

✓ There are, uh, tall apartment buildings near my home, uh, and there are some that are 30 or 40 floors high.

The speaker used 'apartments' and 'plants' incorrectly. 'Apartments' refers to individual units; 'apartment buildings' or 'tall buildings' fits the context. 'Plants' is incorrect and likely a mispronunciation of 'places' or 'plants' should be 'plants' (vegetation) which doesn't fit with floors. Also specify 'floors high' for clarity. Use plural agreement 'are' with plural subjects.

× They're covering some of the view of our city.

✓ They cover some of the view of our city.

The use of 'They're covering' (present continuous) suggests an action happening right now and is acceptable in some contexts, but for general facts or permanent situations use simple present 'They cover'. The simple present is more natural when describing how buildings affect the view in general.

× To be honest, I don't like taking photos of the building, but whenever I travel uh, to any international AAA such as Dubai, I love to take the photo of Wiz Khalifa because it is the one of the tallest building in the world.

✓ To be honest, I don't like taking photos of buildings, but whenever I travel to international places such as Dubai, I love to take a photo of the Burj Khalifa because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world.

Multiple article and lexical errors: 'the building' is too specific; use plural 'buildings' for general preference. 'Any international AAA' is unclear; replace with 'international places'. 'Wiz Khalifa' is the wrong name; the building is 'Burj Khalifa'. Use 'a photo' (indefinite article) and 'one of the tallest buildings' (plural) rather than 'the one of the tallest building'. This corrects article and noun number usage.

× Uh, rather than that, I love to take the pictures of mountains and rivers instead of picking.

✓ Rather than that, I prefer to take pictures of mountains and rivers instead of buildings.

'Take the pictures of' should be 'take pictures of' (no definite article for general preferences). 'Instead of picking' is incorrect; likely meant 'instead of picking buildings' or 'instead of taking pictures of buildings'. Use 'prefer' for stylistic improvement and 'buildings' for clear contrast.

× In future, I love to visit Paris so that I can see the Statue of Liberty there.

✓ In the future, I would love to visit Paris, but the Statue of Liberty is in New York, so I would like to visit New York to see it.

Several facts and tense issues: 'In future' should be 'In the future'. 'I love to visit' is present preference; use conditional 'I would love to visit' for a future desire. Also the Statue of Liberty is not in Paris; it is in New York, so correct location and express intent to visit the correct city.

× To be honest, I am afraid of fights so I prefer to live in small buildings rather than, uh, the tall ones.

✓ To be honest, I am afraid of heights, so I prefer to live in smaller buildings rather than tall ones.

'Afraid of fights' is likely a misuse for 'afraid of heights'. Also 'small buildings' should be 'smaller buildings' to compare relative size; 'the tall ones' can be simplified to 'tall ones'. Correct the pronoun/reference and comparative expression.

× Uh, because it gives me comfort and it whenever I travel to any tour breathing, I get a feeling of failure that I will get uh, slip dough out of the building.

✓ Because living in a smaller building makes me feel comfortable, and whenever I travel on tours that involve tall buildings, I feel anxious that I might slip or fall from the building.

This sentence has multiple structural and lexical errors: 'it gives me comfort and it whenever I travel to any tour breathing' is ungrammatical. Recast to two clear clauses: one stating comfort, the other describing anxiety when visiting tall buildings. 'Get a feeling of failure' is incorrect for 'feel anxious' and 'slip dough' is meaningless; replace with 'slip or fall'. Use parallel structure and clear vocabulary.