Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更简洁、语法正确并提供具体细节；注意冠词、介词和数量词的使用，并避免不相关或模糊的描述。例如说明建筑高度、用途和受欢迎的原因。保持不超过5句。

例: Yes, there are two tall buildings near my home. One is a large hotel and the other is a shopping centre. Each has about twenty floors and attracts many visitors because of its restaurants and cinemas. They are popular landmarks in our city.

提案: 注意句子连贯与冗余，修正重复和代词错误（e.g. “share with them”）。提供具体频率、场景或目的，使内容更丰富且有逻辑连接词。保持不超过5句。

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings with my phone when I walk around the city. I usually photograph interesting facades and modern designs so I can remember them. Then I share the best pictures with my friends and family on social media.

提案: 回答要更自然并说明具体原因，例如想去的部分、特色或活动。改进定冠词和词序，避免泛泛而谈。使用连接词阐述原因或期待。保持不超过5句。

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Shifu Hong Rong building, which is the largest shopping centre in Shenyang. I am interested in its luxury stores and the rooftop garden, and I hope to try the restaurants there. I think it would be an exciting place to explore.

提案: 澄清表达并修正词汇搭配（例如“hobbies have a bird view”应为“homes have a bird’s-eye view”），说明具体理由如景观、噪音或空气质量，并用连词组织句子，控制在5句内。

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it would offer a bird's-eye view of the city. From higher floors I could enjoy the skyline and get more fresh air away from street noise. It would also feel more private and peaceful.

× There are two tall buildings in near my home.

✓ There are two tall buildings near my home.

句中重复使用介词“in near”是不正确的。应只保留“near”来表示“在……附近”。建议记住常用介词搭配，如“near my home/near here”。

× 1 is a big hotel and another is the shopping center.

✓ One is a big hotel and the other is a shopping center.

原句中使用数字“1”不符合书面表达，且“another”用法不当。应使用“One”表示第一项，使用“the other”表示剩下的那一项。此外“the shopping center”前可有定冠词“the”。建议用完整单词和正确的代词搭配：“One ... and the other ...”。

× Both of them are four people.

✓ Both of them have four floors.

原句“are four people”把“people（人）”误用于表示楼层数量，且主谓不搭配。应使用“have four floors”来表示建筑有四层。建议区分表示人数的“people”和表示楼层的“floors/ storeys”。

× I Li I like to take photos of buildings with my phone and I can check these buildings whenever I want and I usually share with them with my friends, families and so on.

✓ I like to take photos of buildings with my phone. I can check these photos whenever I want, and I usually share them with my friends and family.

原句有重复的“I Li I”，且代词使用混乱。应删除重复部分，区分“these buildings”（指建筑物）与“these photos”（指照片）。“share with them with my friends”结构错误，应为“share them with my friends and family”。另外“families”通常用“family”表示家庭成员集合。建议注意代词指代一致并避免重复。

× There are many buildings in our cities, and the most one I want to visit is the Shifu Hong Rong building.

✓ There are many buildings in our city, and the one I most want to visit is the Shifu Hong Rong building.

原句“our cities”不符合上下文应为单数“our city”；“the most one I want”词序和用法错误，应为“the one I most want to visit”或“the one I want to visit the most”。建议注意量词/限定词的位置和可数名词单复数一致。

× It is the biggest shopping center in Shenyang, and it is always expensive.

✓ It is the biggest shopping center in Shenyang, and it is always expensive to shop there.

“it is always expensive”意思模糊，需明确“做某事很贵”，故加“to shop there”使句意完整。建议在形容价格时明确动作或对象。

× Yes of course, because hobbies have a bird view and I can see almost the whole city and the tall trees would never stop my views and there are more fresh air in top lines.

✓ Yes, of course, because from there I would have a bird's-eye view and I can see almost the whole city. The tall trees would not block my view, and there would be more fresh air at the top.

原句有多个问题：1) “hobbies have a bird view”词不达意，应为“from there I would have a bird's-eye view”；2) “views”复数用法不当，应为不可数“view”；3) “more fresh air in top lines”表达错误，应为“more fresh air at the top”；4) 情态/时态用法需与假想居住情况匹配，使用“would”。建议学习固定短语“bird's-eye view”，“block the view”，以及介词搭配“at the top”。