Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Combine short fragments into smoother sentences and avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like “Because.” Add one linking phrase to make the response more coherent and reduce redundancy. Also choose more precise vocabulary (e.g., “high-rise” as one word).

例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home since I live in the city. From my window I can see several skyscrapers and high-rise office blocks, as well as shopping malls and apartment complexes, which makes the skyline quite impressive.

提案: Avoid repetition of phrases like “I love taking photos.” Use linking words to connect reasons and be concise. Correct small preposition errors (e.g., “of” not “off”) and choose one or two clear reasons rather than repeating the same idea.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings, especially when I travel. I like both modern and historical architecture, and I usually post my best shots on social media so I can remember the places and share them with friends.

提案: Correct grammar and article/use errors (e.g., “Its romantic atmosphere and lively surroundings appeal to me”). Keep sentences concise and use a linking word to connect reasons and the specific detail you want to do. Avoid stray letters or typos.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Eiffel Tower because I find it unique and fascinating. Its romantic atmosphere and lively surroundings appeal to me, and I would especially like to go up to the viewing platform to see Paris from above.

提案: This is a good, balanced answer. Make the opening more natural by combining the first sentence with the explanation (e.g., “It depends:”). Use linking words for contrast (like “however” is good) and correct small punctuation and hyphenation (use “low-rise”). Add one brief specific example to strengthen the detail.

例: It depends: if I lived in the city I would prefer a tall building because a high floor offers great views and more privacy. However, if I had a family I would choose a low-rise house since it’s generally safer and usually has a garden or yard for children to play in.

× Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. Because I live in the city.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in the city.

The fragment 'Because I live in the city.' is a dependent clause and cannot stand alone as a sentence; this is a sentence structure error. Combine it with the previous sentence using a comma or join directly to form a complete sentence: '...my home because I live...'. This keeps the cause linked to the main clause and avoids sentence fragments.

× I love taking photos of buildings, specially during my travels.

✓ I love taking photos of buildings, especially during my travels.

The word 'specially' is used incorrectly; the correct adverb meaning 'particularly' is 'especially'. This is an adverb choice/placement issue. Use 'especially' to modify the verb phrase 'love taking photos' to indicate emphasis.

× I love taking photos off either modern or historical buildings and I would love to post those photos on social media so I can look back and cherish the moment where I took the photos.

✓ I love taking photos of both modern and historical buildings, and I would love to post those photos on social media so I can look back and cherish the moments when I took them.

Several preposition and determiner issues: 'off' should be 'of' to indicate photographing subjects; 'either ... or' is better as 'both ... and' when expressing appreciation for both types; 'moment where' is incorrect — use 'moments when' for time; 'the photos' repeated can be replaced with 'them' for naturalness. These changes fix incorrect prepositions and improve sentence flow.

× It's romantic atmosphere and a lively surroundings A appeal to me, and I would especially like to go up to the viewing platform to see the city from above.

✓ Its romantic atmosphere and lively surroundings appeal to me, and I would especially like to go up to the viewing platform to see the city from above.

Errors: 'It's' (it is) is incorrect; the possessive pronoun 'its' is needed to modify 'atmosphere'. 'A lively surroundings' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'surroundings' — remove 'a' and use plural 'surroundings'. Also ensure verb agreement: 'appeal' matches plural subject 'atmosphere and surroundings'. These corrections fix article and possessive usage and subject-verb agreement.

× For me it depends. If I lived in a city, I would prefer a tall building because the high floor would give me great view of the city and more privacy.

✓ For me, it depends. If I lived in a city, I would prefer a tall building because the high floor would give me a great view of the city and more privacy.

Missing article before 'great view' — use 'a great view'. Also add a comma after introductory 'For me'. The conditional tense structure (second conditional) 'If I lived... I would prefer...' is fine. This fixes article usage and punctuation.

× However, if I had a family, I might choose a low rise house because it is safer and often has more outdoor space for children.

✓ However, if I had a family, I might choose a low-rise house because it is safer and often has more outdoor space for children.

Use a hyphen in the compound adjective 'low-rise' when it precedes a noun. The rest of the sentence is grammatically correct; hyphenation improves correctness and readability.