Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 発音や文法の誤りを直し、シンプルで自然な主語と述語の構成に直しましょう。具体的には「There are many tall buildings near my home.」「They house offices and shops.」のように短く明確な文を使い、不要な語を省いてください。また語彙（skyscraper, tenant, business people）を正しく使い、数や所有の表現を確認しましょう。

例: Yes. There are many tall skyscrapers near my home. They contain offices and shops, and many business people work there.

提案: 現在形の正しい形（I usually take）を使い、繰り返しや不要な間投詞を減らしましょう。理由や具体例を一つか二つ付け加えると良いです。接続語（because, so, therefore）を適切に使い、流れを滑らかにしてください。

例: Yes, I usually take photos of buildings. There is a very famous building in my neighborhood that is iconic for our city, so I often photograph it because it represents our local identity.

提案: 質問は「訪れたい建物はあるか」なので、まず明確に一つの建物名や種類を挙げましょう。文法と語彙（architecture, modern, atmosphere, image）を正しく用い、理由を具体的に述べてください。例えば『I would like to visit the old brick warehouse because it is a rare example of early-modern architecture and has a nostalgic atmosphere.』のようにします。

例: Yes. I would like to visit the old brick warehouse in my city because it is a famous example of early-modern architecture and it has a nostalgic, atmospheric interior.

提案: 意見は明確に述べ、理由を2つ程度に絞って短い文で述べましょう。例えば『Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because of the view and convenient facilities. However, it can be expensive and small.』のように対比や条件も簡潔に示すと良いです。語彙（affordable, status, luxury）を正しく使い、文を完結させてください。

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it offers great views and convenient facilities. However, it can be expensive, so I will consider it only when I can afford an apartment.

× You're in my neighborhood that there are a lot of sky scarlet picture in the city.

✓ In my neighborhood there are a lot of skyscrapers in the city.

The original sentence has incorrect sentence structure and word choice. 'You're in my neighborhood that there are...' is ungrammatical; use a subject and verb properly: 'In my neighborhood there are...'. 'sky scarlet picture' is incorrect word choice; the intended word is 'skyscrapers'. Improve by placing the locative phrase at the start and using the correct noun: 'In my neighborhood there are a lot of skyscrapers in the city.'

× So there are 12 tenant in it.

✓ So there are 12 tenants in it.

The noun 'tenant' should be plural when referring to more than one; use 'tenants'. Also 'there are' correctly signals plural. Ensure noun number matches the quantity: '12 tenants'.

× So many business person use here and work in here.

✓ So many business people use it and work here.

'Business person' is singular; the plural is 'business people'. 'Use here' and 'work in here' are incorrect collocations: say 'use it' (referring to the building) and 'work here'. Replace pronouns and adjust word order for natural English.

× Yes, I usually taking a photo or building because, uh, in my neighborhood, uh, the one of the most famous building in the, in our city.

✓ Yes, I usually take a photo of the building because in my neighborhood it is one of the most famous buildings in our city.

After 'usually' use the base verb 'take', not the -ing form 'taking'. Use the correct preposition 'of' with 'photo', and correct article and noun number: 'one of the most famous buildings'. Also remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'in the'.

× So this is uh, this building is iconic of the city, so I like taking a picture of it.

✓ This building is iconic for the city, so I like taking pictures of it.

Using 'iconic of' is unnatural; prefer 'iconic for' or 'an icon of'. Use plural 'pictures' for habitual action: 'I like taking pictures of it.' Also remove duplicate 'this is uh, this'.

× My favorite place for visiting the tower is that brick storage.

✓ My favorite place to visit is the brick tower.

'Favorite place for visiting the tower' is awkward; use 'favorite place to visit'. 'That brick storage' is incorrect word choice—likely 'brick tower' or 'brick building'. Reorder for natural English: 'My favorite place to visit is the brick tower.'

× So this building is a very famous architecture or modern Japan so we can enjoy atmosphere or mage era.

✓ This building is a very famous example of modern Japanese architecture, so we can enjoy the atmosphere of that era.

'Famous architecture' should be 'famous example of architecture' or 'famous example of modern Japanese architecture'. 'Modern Japan' needs the adjective 'Japanese'. 'Enjoy atmosphere or mage era' is unclear; express as 'enjoy the atmosphere of that era'. Use correct nouns and prepositions.

× So I, I think so living in the, uh, tower is one of the most famous dream in Japan businessperson and this building is a better language, uh, status of luxury.

✓ I think living in a tower is a common dream for Japanese businesspeople, and this building represents a luxury status symbol.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and wordy. Use 'I think' then an infinitive 'living'. 'One of the most famous dream' should be 'a common dream' or 'a popular dream'. 'Japan businessperson' should be 'Japanese businesspeople'. 'Better language, status of luxury' is unintelligible; clarify as 'represents a luxury status symbol'.

× So when I could affordable to buy apartment, uh, I.

✓ So when I can afford to buy an apartment, I will.

'Could affordable' mixes modal and adjective incorrectly; use 'can afford' or 'am able to afford'. Include the article 'an' before 'apartment'. The clause needs completion—add 'I will' or 'I would like to' to finish the thought. Use correct tense and modal structure: 'When I can afford to buy an apartment, I will.'