Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct grammar for location and existence (e.g., “There aren’t any tall buildings near my home” or “I live in the countryside, so there are no tall buildings nearby”). Avoid hesitations and irrelevant words.

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home because I live in the countryside. For example, my house is surrounded by fields and small farms rather than high-rise buildings.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with one specific example. Use linking words like “because” or “for example” correctly, and avoid unclear phrases. Improve verb choice (e.g., “take photos,” “I prefer buildings with interesting design”).

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings because I enjoy their architectural details. For example, I recently photographed an old brick church because its decorative windows and rooflines looked especially beautiful in morning light.

提案: Give a clear, specific answer: name a particular building or type of building and explain why with reasons and a brief detail. Use linking words (e.g., “because”, “for example”) and avoid vague phrases like “something like that.”

例: I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world and I want to experience its observation deck. For example, I’m interested in seeing the city view from such a great height and learning about its engineering.

提案: Start with a concise direct answer, then give two specific reasons linked logically. Use correct tense and simpler, clearer expressions to describe views and feelings. Avoid repetitive or unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because the top floors offer great views of the sky and city. For example, from a high balcony I could watch clouds and sunsets, which would make me feel relaxed and inspired.

× MMM, you have where it Thorpe link near my home.

✓ Well, there is a place called Thorpe Link near my home.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and word order. 'you have where it Thorpe link' is ungrammatical. Use 'there is' to introduce existence and a clear noun phrase 'a place called Thorpe Link'. Improve by using 'there is' + noun and proper name order.

× It's don't have, you know, because I'm live in the countryside, only have the right field, for example, in the around my house or surround my house, but have the tall body, uh, the building.

✓ It doesn't have tall buildings, you know, because I live in the countryside; there are only fields around my house.

Multiple errors: incorrect contraction 'It's don't have' should be 'It doesn't have' (verb agreement with 'it'), 'I'm live' should be 'I live' (no auxiliary), and awkward phrasing 'only have the right field' should be 'there are only fields'. Use 'there are' for plural existence and correct subject-verb agreement.

× Well, absolutely, because, you know, I like to change the photo of the building when the I see the building is looking good or have the good day design because I like to avoid the building with the sunset, sunrise, that's the.

✓ Well, absolutely. I like to change photos of a building when I see it looks good or has a nice design, and I also like to photograph buildings at sunset or sunrise.

Errors include unnecessary 'to' before 'change the photo' and incorrect use of 'is looking' and 'have'. Use simple present 'it looks' and 'has' for general truths. Use 'photograph' as the correct verb and plural 'photos' if multiple. Improve word choice and sentence segmentation for clarity.

× Just I like to visit the building if you like the tallest building in the can in the other country like Arabs or Japan, Taiwan, something like that.

✓ I would like to visit the tallest buildings in other countries such as those in Arab countries, Japan, or Taiwan.

Problems: awkward 'Just I like' and incorrect 'in the can in the other country'. Use conditional 'I would like' for preferences and plural 'buildings' if referring generally. Replace vague 'Arabs' with 'Arab countries' and list examples cleanly.

× Because you know, I want to be, I want to go or.

✓ Because, you know, I want to go and see them.

Fragmented sentence 'I want to be, I want to go or' lacks clarity and a complete verb phrase. Replace with a clear object 'see them' to complete the thought.

× Of course, because when I live in a tall building, you know the top floor I can see the clouds, sky and I can looking back in the on the floor I can the express my feeling like the best.

✓ Of course. If I lived in a tall building, from the top floor I could see the clouds and sky, and I could reflect on my feelings.

Tense and modal issues: the conditional possibility of living in a tall building is better expressed with 'If I lived... I could...' rather than present 'when I live'. 'I can looking back' is incorrect; use 'I could reflect' or 'I could look down'. Fix word order and remove extraneous articles.