Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid hesitations and mispronounced or wrong words (e.g. "such a few," "toll towers," "booting"). Use linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a cluster of high-rise apartment towers and a large shopping mall about ten minutes away, which I can see from my balcony.

提案: Organize the reply: topic sentence + specific reasons/examples. Pay attention to grammar (plural/singular and prepositions) and linking words to improve coherence. Limit to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings, especially while traveling. For instance, I often capture modern skyscrapers and old historic churches, and then I upload the best shots to my social media to share my travels with friends.

提案: Good clear answer with reasons. Improve by adding a specific detail (what you would do there or when you'd like to go) and correct small repetition/fluency errors. Use a linking word for the reason.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris one day. I want to see it in person because it looks romantic in photographs and films, and I'd like to go to the top to enjoy the city view at sunset.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then support with two specific reasons, using correct noun forms and linking words. Replace vague phrases like "modern facility" with concrete examples (e.g. gym, elevators, security).

例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because they usually offer better security and modern facilities. For example, many high-rises have 24-hour security, secure entry systems, and on-site gyms and elevators, which make daily life more convenient.

× Yes, there are such a few targeting near my home, my neighborhood, uh, toll towers, high rise booting, and even shopping malls.

✓ Yes, there are a few tall buildings near my home and neighborhood, such as office towers, high-rise housing, and even shopping malls.

Original uses 'such a few' (incorrect quantifier) and several incorrect words ('targeting', 'toll towers', 'booting'). Use 'a few' for a small number. 'Such as' introduces examples. Also correct vocabulary to 'tall', 'office towers', 'high-rise housing'. Suggestion: use 'a few' or 'several' and 'such as' before listing examples.

× Yes, I'd like to take photos of buildings especially when I travel.

✓ Yes, I'd like to take photos of buildings, especially when I travel.

Missing comma before the adverbial phrase makes sentence slightly awkward but not a grammatical error listed; corrected to improve clarity. This falls under present participle/structure guidance to keep clauses clear. Suggestion: insert a comma before 'especially' when it modifies the whole clause.

× I like to take photos of modern architecture in old historic building and also I would like to upload onto my social media to share my friends where I've been.

✓ I like to take photos of modern architecture and old historic buildings, and I also like to upload them to my social media to share with my friends where I've been.

Multiple preposition and agreement issues: 'in old historic building' should be plural 'old historic buildings' and use 'and' to join items. 'Upload onto my social media' should be 'upload them to my social media'. 'Share my friends' needs 'share with my friends'. Also add 'them' to refer to photos. Suggestion: ensure noun forms (singular/plural) match and choose correct prepositions ('to' and 'with').

× Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris one day.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris one day.

Sentence is grammatical and matches tense and meaning; no change needed. It expresses a future desire using 'would like', which is appropriate. Included to show no error from provided list.

× I think it is amazing to see it in person because it is a romantic place and it it has appeared in a lot of photos and films.

✓ I think it would be amazing to see it in person because it is a romantic place and it has appeared in many photos and films.

Problems: repeated 'it it' is a typo; 'is amazing' is acceptable but 'would be amazing' better matches hypothetical future visit. 'A lot of' is informal; 'many' is more appropriate. Suggestion: remove duplicate word, choose 'would be' for hypothetical, and use 'many' instead of 'a lot of'.

× Yes, I like to live in a tall building because tall buildings always have better security and modern facility that makes me comfortable and convenient.

✓ Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because tall buildings usually have better security and modern facilities that make life comfortable and convenient.

Tense and modality: question asks if they want to live there; 'would like' fits desire. 'Facility' should be plural 'facilities' to match 'modern' and general meaning. Subject-verb agreement: 'facilities that make' (plural) not 'makes'. 'Comfortable and convenient' should describe 'life' or 'living'; added 'life' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'would like', use plural nouns with plural verbs, and ensure relative clauses agree with their antecedents.