Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答需要更直接和简洁，避免重复与口头语（如"of course","uh","it is a common sense"）。先用一句主题句直接回答，然后用一到两句具体支持信息，比如数量、用途或距离，使用连接词使句子更连贯。

例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. I live in central Shanghai, so most of them are office towers and shopping centers within a few minutes' walk.

提案: 表达不清且有逻辑问题（如"they move"不合理）。应直接回答并给出具体原因或例子，避免矛盾和重复，用更准确的词汇描述建筑材料和个人偏好。

例: Not really. I rarely photograph buildings because many modern ones look similar, mostly glass and steel, so I prefer taking pictures of parks or old neighborhoods with more character.

提案: 回答思路良好但可更具体。先明确说想去哪个建筑，然后用一到两句说明原因（如历史背景、夜景或建筑特色），并可加上时间或计划的细节以显得更真实。

例: Yes, I would like to visit Huanghelou. A friend told me its night view is spectacular with colorful lights, and I want to see the historic architecture and river views, perhaps next spring when I have time.

提案: 回答表达清楚但有语法与重复问题（如"may the tall buildings may"）。建议先给出直接结论，然后用连贯句子列出两三个具体理由，使用连接词并改正语法错误。

例: No, I wouldn't. High floors feel unsafe to me, while lower floors are often noisy due to traffic, so overall tall buildings aren't very suitable for my lifestyle.

× Yes, of course there are plenty of tall buildings near my home because I live in the city center of Shanghai, so many tall buildings are used for business companies and it is a common sense that uh, some tall buildings are in city center.

✓ Yes, of course there are plenty of tall buildings near my home because I live in the city center of Shanghai. Many tall buildings are used by business companies, and it is common sense that some tall buildings are in the city center.

句子过长且部分短语搭配或主谓关系不自然。“many tall buildings are used for business companies” 中“used for” 与“business companies” 搭配不当，通常说“used by business companies”或“used for business”；“it is a common sense that” 不自然，应为“it is common sense that”；“in city center” 缺定冠词，应为“in the city center”。建议：拆分长句，检查介词和冠词搭配，确保主谓一致和常用表达。

× Well, I don't take photos of beauty because I think they are all the same, all look the same and they move.

✓ Well, I don't take photos of buildings because I think they all look the same, and they move.

原句中“photos of beauty” 用词错误，应为“photos of buildings”（照建筑）。此外“they are all the same, all look the same” 冗余，可合并为“they all look the same”。建议：使用正确的名词搭配（photos of + object），避免重复表达。

× They move, but they all made of uh, glass and steels in the outer appearance doesn't look so good for me.

✓ They move, but they are all made of glass and steel, and their exterior appearance doesn't look very good to me.

句子中缺少被动助动词“are”，所以应为“are made of”；“steels” 不可数名词应为“steel”；“in the outer appearance” 表达不自然，应改为“their exterior appearance”；“doesn't look so good for me” 应为“doesn't look very good to me”。建议：注意被动语态需要助动词，材料类名词通常不可数，调整词序使表达自然。

× Well, I'm keen on visiting many buildings, but a friend once told me about a place called Huanghulou.

✓ Well, I'm keen on visiting many buildings, and a friend once told me about a place called Huanghulou.

原句本身时态“once told” 用法正确，但逻辑连词用“but”导致与前句含义矛盾。将“but”改为“and”更合适。注意这不是严格的时态错误，但根据语境更改连词以保持语义一致性。建议：检查连词是否符合前后句逻辑。

× He said that the night view is very beautiful because of the colorful light, so I may visit it someday to see the historical beauty by myself.

✓ He said that the night view is very beautiful because of the colorful lights, so I may visit it someday to see the historical beauty myself.

“colorful light” 应为复数“colorful lights” 更符合语境；“by myself” 与语境可简化为“myself”。总体时态（He said ... is）可接受，因为陈述仍成立。建议：注意可数名词单复数及习惯用法，代词短语可简化。

× Well, actually, not because it seems so dangerous if you live on the higher floor, but if you live on the lower floor, you will be disturbed from the, uh, noise from the street. So it may the tall buildings may not be suitable for me.

✓ Well, actually no, because it seems so dangerous if you live on a higher floor, but if you live on a lower floor, you will be disturbed by noise from the street. So tall buildings may not be suitable for me.

原句中“not because” 前后结构混乱，建议改为“No” 引出否定；“the higher floor” 应为“a higher floor” 或“higher floors” 表示泛指；“disturbed from the ... noise” 介词错误，应为“disturbed by noise”；末句有多余的“may the”，应删除重复。建议：注意否定句结构、冠词使用（表示泛指用 a/an 或复数）以及介词搭配，删除重复词。