Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and fix article/noun errors (e.g., "an apartment block" not "apartment block" alone).

例: Yes. There are several tall buildings near my home. For example, I live in a high-rise apartment and there is an apartment block next door that has shops and a few large restaurants, which is very convenient.

提案: Remove filler words and correct pronunciation/grammar ("a high-rise apartment," not "an high rise"). Give a concise reason and one specific example of what you like to photograph. Use linking words like "for example" or "because."

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing buildings because I like their shapes and details. For example, I often take pictures of high-rise apartments and historic towers in the city because their facades have interesting patterns.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then specific reasons. Avoid fragmented sentences and repetition. Mention the building's name once, say what it is, and give two concrete reasons to visit (e.g., architecture, history, museum exhibits).

例: Yes. I would like to visit the Chechen Lama Temple. It is both a temple and a museum, and I am interested in its traditional architecture and the historical artifacts displayed there.

提案: Start with a clear opinion sentence using correct grammar ("I don't want to live"). Give one reason and a short contrasting detail. Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to connect ideas and avoid hesitation words.

例: No, I don't want to live in a tall building because it seems unsafe during earthquakes. So I would prefer a small private house that feels more secure and comfortable.

× Yes, there are tall buildings nearby to my home and I live in a tall apartment and there is also apartment block that contains groceries and big restaurants. Something like that.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home, and I live in a tall apartment. There is also an apartment block that contains grocery stores and large restaurants.

Use 'near' or 'nearby' but not 'nearby to'; 'near my home' is correct. Add articles: 'an apartment block'. Use plural/accurate nouns: 'grocery stores' instead of 'groceries' when referring to shops, and 'large restaurants' instead of 'big restaurants'. Also split run-on sentence into two for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Yes I do. I really enjoy uh, taking photos of buildings, uh, such as an high rise apartment and umm, the unique and tall, uh, apart tall buildings of the city city.

✓ Yes, I do. I really enjoy taking photos of buildings, such as high-rise apartments and the unique tall buildings of the city.

Use gerund 'taking' correctly after 'enjoy'. Use 'high-rise' as a hyphenated adjective and plural 'apartments' to match general reference. Remove filler words and repeated word 'city'. Also 'an high rise' is wrong before consonant sound; use 'a high-rise' or simply 'high-rise apartments'. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× Yes, there is a building that I would like to visit is Chechen Lama Temple. That's temple. That's the that's not the about the building, that's also like museum and it's architecture is really interesting and. Contain.

✓ Yes, the building I would like to visit is Chechen Lama Temple. It is not only a temple but also a museum, and its architecture is really interesting.

Remove redundant and broken clauses and fix sentence structure: use 'the building I would like to visit is...' instead of repeating 'there is'. Use 'it is not only... but also...' to connect ideas. Use possessive adjective 'its' for 'architecture'. Remove fragment 'Contain'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Actually I don't what I live in a tall building because it's kind of scary because in in case of earthquakes it's really dangerous. So I wanna live in a just a small private house.

✓ Actually, I don't want to live in a tall building because it's kind of scary; in case of an earthquake it's really dangerous. So I want to live in a small private house.

Replace incorrect verb 'don't what' with 'don't want' or 'I don't want to'. Use singular 'an earthquake' or general 'earthquakes' rather than 'in in case of earthquakes' (remove duplicate 'in'). Use 'want' instead of informal 'wanna'. Remove extra article 'a' before 'just a small'. Use punctuation to join related ideas. Grammar problem type ID: 12