Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct grammar and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "structures" or "apartment blocks" instead of "portions").

例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a small town about 30 miles from the main city, so most structures are low-rise houses and a few two- or three-storey shops.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence and use clear linking words. Be specific about what you like and when you take photos; avoid tense mistakes and repetition. Use vocabulary like "architectural details," "facades," and "window patterns."

例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings because I admire the local architectural details such as wooden frames and ornate window patterns. I especially photograph them in overcast weather or after rain when the colours and textures look richer.

提案: Start with a direct answer and reduce redundancy. Give one specific reason why you want to visit and add a brief personal detail or plan. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes — I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in the UAE because it is the tallest building in the world and I am fascinated by its design and engineering. If possible, I hope to see it in person and go up to the observation deck someday.

提案: Answer directly and avoid fillers. State your preference, give a concise reason, and add a brief example of how this affects you. Use formal phrasing like "I have a fear of heights" instead of casual fillers.

例: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because I have a fear of heights. For example, I avoid high floors and never go near balcony edges, so a low-rise home suits me better.

× in my hometown there are no tall buildings but we have 3 to 4 portions of our random buildings there.

✓ In my hometown there are no tall buildings, but we have three or four sections of ordinary buildings.

Use plural/singular consistently and write numbers in words for small counts in formal speech; 'portions' and 'random buildings' are unidiomatic. 'Sections of ordinary buildings' better matches intended meaning.

× I like to take photos of buildings because I love the architecture of building in my countryside and the wooden frames and the patterns on windows.

✓ I like to take photos of buildings because I love the architecture in my countryside, especially the wooden frames and the patterns on the windows.

Use adjectives/adverbs correctly: 'architecture of building' is incorrect; use 'architecture in my countryside'. Also add 'the' before 'windows' for specificity and include 'especially' to link the examples smoothly.

× So mostly whenever it rains or the weather is too gloomy, I used to take pictures of building.

✓ So mostly whenever it rains or the weather is gloomy, I take pictures of buildings.

'Used to' implies a past habitual action; the context is general habit, so use simple present 'take'. Also pluralize 'buildings' and remove redundant 'too' before 'gloomy'.

× Honestly, there is a building in the world which is so famous and enormous and it is Burj Khalifa in UAE.

✓ Honestly, there is a building in the world that is very famous and enormous: the Burj Khalifa in the UAE.

Use 'that' for restrictive clauses in spoken English; use 'the' before proper names like 'Burj Khalifa' and 'the UAE'; replace 'so' with 'very' and add colon for clarity. 'In UAE' requires the definite article.

× I know it is far away from my country, but this is my desire to visit that building, at least one in my life.

✓ I know it is far from my country, but I really want to visit it at least once in my life.

'Far away from my country' is wordy; 'far from my country' is sufficient. 'This is my desire to visit that building' is awkward; use 'I really want to visit it'. 'At least one in my life' should be 'at least once in my life'.

× Not really, because I am so much afraid of living in tall buildings and I don't like much height.

✓ Not really, because I am very afraid of living in tall buildings and I don't like heights.

'So much afraid' is nonstandard; use 'very afraid'. 'I don't like much height' is ungrammatical; use plural 'heights' to express fear of high places.

× Uh, one thing I wanna tell you that I have a bit of uh, height phobia, which is the main reason that I avoid going on heights and peaks.

✓ Uh, one thing I want to tell you is that I have a slight fear of heights, which is the main reason I avoid high places and peaks.

Replace colloquial 'wanna' with 'want to' in formal corrections; 'have a bit of height phobia' is awkward: use 'a slight fear of heights'. 'Avoid going on heights' is incorrect; use 'avoid high places'. Removed extra 'that' and streamlined structure.