Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 質問には直接答えられていますが、食べ物の名前が不明確で、「grab one」「take a lot of memory」などの表現が不自然です。食べ物を簡単に説明した後、いつ食べたか、なぜ好きなのかを具体的に述べましょう。また、過去の習慣には “used to eat” を使い、文を2～4文に整理すると、より自然で効果的になります。

例: My favourite food is tanghulu, a Chinese snack made of fruit covered in a hard sugar coating. I especially enjoy its sweet-and-sour taste and crunchy texture. When I was a child, I used to buy it on my way home from school during the winter. It brings back very happy memories.

提案: 「スナックが好きだった」という主張は明確ですが、“Snacks are something really for children” は一般化しすぎており、“there's the life differences” は意味が伝わりにくい表現です。具体的な菓子の名前、味、食べた場面、好きだった理由を加えましょう。話し言葉では “I particularly liked...” のように、理由へ自然につなげるとよいです。

例: When I was young, I mainly liked snacks, especially sweet-and-sour candies. I enjoyed them because they had a strong flavour and were easy to share with my friends. I often bought them after school, so they remind me of my childhood.

提案: 季節、祭り、伝統、天候という複数の観点を示しており、内容は比較的充実しています。ただし、“nurture in body” と “with sunplains” は不自然または不明確です。夏は軽くて冷たい料理、冬は温かい鍋料理という対比を、正しい表現と具体例で説明しましょう。

例: Yes, I eat different foods depending on the season, the weather and traditional festivals in China. In summer, I prefer light dishes such as cold noodles because they help me cool down. In winter, I usually eat hot pot or lamb soup to keep warm. I also eat special dishes during festivals because they are part of our traditions.

提案: 「好きな食べ物が変わったのではなく、好みの範囲が広がった」という考えは独創的で、質問にも答えています。しかし、同じ表現の繰り返しや文法ミスが多く、内容が伝わりにくくなっています。“My favourite food hasn’t really changed; my range of preferences has expanded.” のように最初に要点を述べ、その後に新しく好きになった料理の例を加えましょう。

例: My favourite food hasn’t really changed, but my range of preferences has expanded. When I was a child, I mainly enjoyed sweet snacks, whereas now I also appreciate spicy dishes and different kinds of international cuisine. As I have tried more foods, I have simply developed more favourites.

× It is something that you can grab one during winter time in China.

✓ It is something that you can grab during winter in China.

The pronoun one is unnecessary because the relative clause already refers to the food with that. Avoid repeating the object after grab.

× When I was young, I usually grabbed one when I finished lessons is always take a lot of memory.

✓ When I was young, I usually grabbed one after I finished my lessons. It always brings back a lot of memories.

The original sentence incorrectly joins several clauses and uses is always take, which does not form a grammatical verb phrase. Divide the ideas into two sentences and use brings back memories to express the result of the experience.

× Snacks are something really for children, right?

✓ Snacks are really something for children, right?

The adverb really should be placed before something in this structure. The pattern is really something for children.

× And for me, the sweet and sour candy is really a thing that can make me feel like there's the life differences.

✓ For me, sweet-and-sour candy is something that can make me feel that life is different.

There is or there are is used to introduce the existence of something. The expression there's the life differences is not grammatical because differences is plural and the article the is unnecessary here. The revised sentence expresses the intended meaning without an incorrect there-be structure.

× Yes, it's really based on the festival and the tradition of China and also the weather.

✓ Yes, it really depends on festivals, traditions in China, and the weather.

The speaker is referring to festivals and traditions in general, so the plural forms festivals and traditions are more appropriate than the singular forms festival and tradition.

× Sometimes you don't want to have some cold dish to nurture in body in summer, but you definitely want to have the hot pot or some other mutton pot in winter with sunplains.

✓ Sometimes, you do not want to eat a cold dish in summer, but you definitely want to eat hot pot or another mutton dish in winter.

A singular countable noun such as dish normally requires a or another, not some. Use a cold dish and another mutton dish when referring to one possible dish.

× Sometimes you don't want to have some cold dish to nurture in body in summer, but you definitely want to have the hot pot or some other mutton pot in winter with sunplains.

✓ Sometimes, you do not want to eat a cold dish in summer to nourish your body, but you definitely want to eat hot pot or another mutton dish in winter.

The phrase nurture in body uses the wrong preposition and lacks a possessive determiner. Say nourish your body rather than nurture in body. Also, use in summer and in winter to describe seasons.

× I don't think so I don't think it's something called change.

✓ I don't think so. I don't think it has changed.

Two independent clauses cannot be joined without punctuation. Also, something called change is not a complete or natural structure for this meaning. Use a separate sentence and the verb phrase has changed.

× It's something called expand because after I knowing a lot of different dishes and food, I'd rather have more ideas and choices to pick the one it's my favorite and the bust, my favorite is just growing.

✓ It is more a matter of expanding because, after learning about many different dishes and foods, I have more ideas and choices for selecting my favorites.

After must be followed by a noun phrase, a past-tense clause, or an -ing form. After I knowing is incorrect; use after learning or after I learned. The noun expanding is also required after the phrase a matter of.

× It's something called expand because after I knowing a lot of different dishes and food, I'd rather have more ideas and choices to pick the one it's my favorite and the bust, my favorite is just growing.

✓ It is more a matter of expanding because, after learning about many different dishes and foods, I have more ideas and choices for selecting my favorites.

The original sentence contains several clauses that are not connected correctly, including the one it's my favorite. Use a clear main clause and connect the reason with because. Organizing the sentence into a logical subject, verb, and object makes the meaning easier to understand.