Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümlenizde fikir açık fakat dilbilgisi ve ifade düzeni hataları var. "in there" ifadesi uygunsuz; gereksiz tekrarlar ("it has it contains") var. Ayrıca iddianız: "contains every kind of vitamins" fazla genelleyici ve yanlış. Cümleyi daha doğal ve kısa tutun: doğrudan konu cümlesi, ardından 1-2 destekleyici neden verin. Bağlaçlar (because, so) doğru şekilde kullanın. Örnek: "My favourite food is pizza because it's versatile and tastes great. For example, I can choose different toppings to include vegetables and proteins, so it's easy to make it relatively healthy."

例: My favourite food is pizza because it's versatile and very tasty. For example, I often add vegetables and lean meat as toppings to make it more balanced, so it can be both satisfying and relatively healthy.

提案: Cümleniz geçmişten bahsederken doğru zamanda başlamış fakat zaman uyumu ve cümle tamamlanması eksik. "I used to" doğru; sonra "I didn't think it was unhealthy" anlamı zayıf—"it was unhealthy" daha doğru. Ayrıca "I was just thinking my parents won't let me eat it" yerine "I thought my parents wouldn't let me" kullanın. Cümleyi tamamlayın ve bir sonuç veya değişiklik belirtin (linking word: but, however, later).

例: When I was younger, I used to eat a lot of fast food because I didn't realize how unhealthy it was. I also thought my parents would never allow it, but as I grew older I learned about nutrition and gradually stopped eating it so often.

提案: Cevabınız doğrudan ama ifadeler doğal değil: "I can't receive it all the time" anlamsız; muhtemelen "I can't afford it" ya da "I don't have time" demek istediniz. Sezonluk yemeği belirtirken daha net olun ve örnekler verin. Bağlaçları doğru kullanın ve gereksiz kelime tekrarlarından kaçının. Örnek olarak öğrenci bütçesini belirtip sonbaharda hangi yemekleri tercih ettiğinizi söyleyin.

例: Not really, because as a student I usually eat the same simple meals due to budget constraints. However, in autumn I enjoy pumpkin dishes, such as pumpkin soup or pumpkin pie, because they feel seasonal and comforting.

提案: Fikirleriniz açık ama birçok dilbilgisi hatası ve tekrarlayan ifadeler var: "It's has changed" yanlış; "my BA body" anlaşılmaz (muhtemelen "my body"). Bir veya iki kısa cümleyle değişimi net şekilde ifade edin; nedenleri belirtirken bağlantı sözcükleri (because, so, therefore) kullanın. Daha spesifik örnekler verin (ör. daha az yağlı yiyecek, daha fazla sebze).

例: Yes, it has changed. As a child I preferred greasy snacks, but now I focus more on healthy options because I'm more aware of nutrition, so I try to eat more vegetables and lean protein.

× The food that I enjoy most is pizza because you can find all kinds of food in there and it's still really tasty and it has it contains every kind of vitamins.

✓ The food that I enjoy most is pizza because you can find all kinds of food there and it's really tasty and it contains every kind of vitamin.

The phrase 'in there' is awkward; use 'there' to indicate location when speaking generally. 'It has it contains' is redundant; choose one verb, here 'contains'. 'Every kind of vitamins' mixes singular 'every' with plural 'vitamins' — use singular 'vitamin' after 'every'. Suggested improvement: remove redundancy and ensure correct preposition and noun number.

× When I was younger, I used to like eating fast foods more because I didn't think it was unhealthy.

✓ When I was younger, I used to like eating fast food more because I didn't think it was unhealthy.

'Fast foods' is uncountable when referring to the category, so use 'fast food'. Keep past habitual 'used to' which is correct. Suggestion: treat types of food as uncountable categories unless specifying items.

× I was just thinking my parents won't let me eat it.

✓ I was just thinking my parents wouldn't let me eat it.

Mixing past progressive 'was thinking' with future 'won't' is inconsistent. Use backshift to past conditional 'wouldn't' to match the past context. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense sequence in reported or past reflections.

× But when I grow up I finally understood that they don't have really good ingredients on them, so I.

✓ But when I grew up I finally understood that they don't have good ingredients, so I stopped eating them.

Tense mismatch: 'when I grow up' (present) should be past 'when I grew up' to match 'finally understood'. 'Don't have really good ingredients on them' is awkward: use 'don't have good ingredients' and 'them' refers to foods; add a concluding action 'stopped eating them' to complete the sentence. Suggestion: align time references and complete the clause.

× I don't eat different foods at different times of the year because I'm a student and I can't receive it all the time.

✓ I don't eat different foods at different times of the year because I'm a student and I can't afford them all the time.

'Can't receive it all the time' is incorrect collocation. Use 'can't afford them' or 'can't get them' depending on meaning. Also match plural 'foods' with 'them'. Suggestion: choose appropriate verb for obtaining food (afford/get) and match number.

× But in the fall I like to eat pumpkin and which foods that has pumpkin inside.

✓ But in the fall I like to eat pumpkin and foods that have pumpkin in them.

'Which foods that has' is an incorrect relative clause. Use 'foods that have' (plural verb 'have' for plural 'foods') and 'in them' for content. Suggestion: use 'that' + subject + correct verb agreement, and place preposition after noun if needed.

× That's a good question. It's has changed because my body and my needs are different now and I'm trying to improve myself.

✓ That's a good question. It has changed because my body and my needs are different now and I'm trying to improve myself.

'It's has changed' is a contraction plus auxiliary 'has' repeated. Use either 'It's changed' or 'It has changed'. Suggestion: avoid combining contraction and full auxiliary; choose one form.

× But when I was a child I wasn't thinking about all of this.

✓ But when I was a child I wasn't thinking about any of this.

'All of this' is not incorrect grammatically, but 'any of this' fits negative past context better. Tense 'wasn't thinking' is acceptable as past continuous. Suggestion: use 'any' after negative for natural phrasing.

× But now I'm just trying to know my BA body better and because of it I'm really thinking of my health.

✓ But now I'm just trying to know my body better and because of that I'm really thinking about my health.

'BA body' appears to be a typo; remove 'BA'. 'Because of it' is awkward—use 'because of that'. 'Thinking of my health' should be 'thinking about my health'. Suggestion: fix typos, choose correct pronoun reference and preposition 'about' for thinking regarding a topic.