Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and finish your sentence; open with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific example and a short reason. Avoid repetition and filler words.

例: I enjoy fried fast food, especially french fries and fried chicken, although I know they are unhealthy. Recently I have been trying to cut down because I want to improve my energy and overall health, so I now eat them only once a week.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, use specific examples, and avoid vague phrases and repetitions. Add a brief linking phrase to show contrast with now.

例: I loved sugary foods as a child because I had a sweet tooth. For example, I often ate chocolates, puddings and candies. However, as I grew older I realized this was unhealthy, so I try to limit sweets now.

提案: Give a complete, specific answer: state clearly that you do, then mention one or two festivals and the foods you eat there. Avoid trailing off and filler words.

例: Yes, I eat different foods at different times of the year because we celebrate many festivals. For example, during Diwali I enjoy sweets like ladoos, and at Eid my family prepares biryani and kebabs, so seasonal and festival foods change what I eat.

提案: Answer directly, reduce hesitations, and give a brief explanation and contrast using linking words. Mention one change in attitude or habit to enrich the response.

例: No, my favourite type of food—sweets—hasn't changed much. I still love chocolates, but I now try to limit them and choose dark chocolate or smaller portions because I'm cutting down on sugar for health reasons.

× I mostly enjoy fast foods even though these are not good for health but I love anything fried.

✓ I mostly enjoy fast food even though it is not good for my health, but I love anything fried.

'Fast food' is an uncountable noun when referring to the category, so use singular form; 'these' should be replaced with 'it' to agree with the uncountable noun. Also include the possessive article 'my' before 'health' for natural English and add a comma before 'but' to separate clauses.

× I am trying to avoid eating junk food nowadays now as I am a bit concerned about my health.

✓ I am trying to avoid eating junk food nowadays because I am a bit concerned about my health.

Using both 'nowadays' and 'now' is redundant; choose one. 'Because' is a clearer conjunction than 'as' in this context to show reason. This corrects redundancy and improves clarity.

× I'm.

✓ I'm trying to cut down on fried foods.

The fragment 'I'm.' is incomplete and lacks a verb or object. Provide a full sentence that completes the thought; here a natural completion that matches context is 'I'm trying to cut down on fried foods.' Adjust as needed to match intended meaning.

× I have a sweet tooth so when I was younger I used to have a lot of sweet dishes, uh like chocolates and sweet puddings, candies.

✓ I had a sweet tooth, so when I was younger I used to eat a lot of sweet dishes, like chocolates, sweet puddings, and candies.

'Used to have' is awkward here; use 'used to eat' to express habitual past action. Add commas to separate items in a list and include 'and' before the last item for proper list structure.

× Those are where my go to stuffs and now that I have grown up I now see that was a very bad habit.

✓ Those were my go-to things, and now that I have grown up I see that it was a very bad habit.

'Those are where my go to stuffs' is ungrammatical: 'go-to' is an adjective and 'stuffs' is incorrect (use 'things' or specific nouns). Use past tense 'were' for past preference. Remove redundant 'now' and change 'that was a very bad habit' to 'it was a very bad habit' to clarify the subject.

× I do as I live in a country with, uh, a lot of different cultures and religious celebrations and ethnicities.

✓ I do, because I live in a country with a lot of different cultures, religious celebrations, and ethnicities.

Use 'because' for a clear causal link. Remove filler 'uh' and add commas to separate list items. The original comma placement was awkward.

× We have many festivals throughout the year so I enjoy different types of food, for example during.

✓ We have many festivals throughout the year, so I enjoy different types of food; for example, during those festivals I try special dishes.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'during.' Complete the thought by specifying 'during those festivals' and explain what happens. Add punctuation to connect clauses properly.

× Umm, no. When I was a child I used to love eating sweets and it hasn't changed nowadays either.

✓ No. When I was a child I used to love eating sweets, and that hasn't changed.

'Hasn't changed nowadays either' is awkward and redundant: 'nowadays' isn't needed with 'hasn't changed.' Replace 'it' with 'that' to refer to the situation and streamline the sentence.

× Uh, I still enjoy eating chocolates and sweets even though I am trying to cut down on sugar.

✓ I still enjoy eating chocolates and sweets, even though I am trying to cut down on sugar.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; only minor punctuation is needed (add a comma before 'even though'). The verb + -ing 'eating' is correctly used to express enjoyment of an activity.

× It's a hard job.

✓ It's hard.

'It's a hard job' is awkward when referring to reducing sugar consumption; 'It's hard' or 'It's difficult' is more natural. 'Job' implies work or occupation, which is less appropriate in this context.