Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, remove hesitations and filler, and add one specific detail or brief example. Also fix minor grammar and word choice (e.g. “pork brisket” not “pork biscuit”), and keep to a maximum of about 3–4 sentences.

例: My favourite food is pork brisket. I especially like it because it has a savory, slightly tangy flavour and a tender, meaty texture. For example, at family barbecues we always slow-cook a brisket that falls apart and tastes smoky and rich.

提案: Use correct tense and complete your thought: begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “because” or “so”). Avoid trailing off; finish the sentence with a concrete memory.

例: When I was young, I loved eating fast food. It was our family’s go-to choice on holidays and days off because it was quick and comforting, so the smell of fries always reminds me of happy childhood moments.

提案: Good structure and coherence — tighten your sentences and use smoother linking phrases. Correct minor grammar (use “in summer” and “in winter”), and give one specific example of a seasonal dish to be more vivid.

例: Yes, I do. My cravings shift with the seasons, so in summer I prefer lighter, savoury dishes like grilled fish and salads, whereas in winter I enjoy hot soups such as chicken noodle soup to stay warm.

提案: Clarify tense and make the progression clear: begin with a concise statement that your tastes changed, explain why (linking word), and give a specific example of what you now prefer. Avoid awkward phrases like “career man”.

例: Yes, my favourite foods have changed. I loved fast food as a child, but now that I’m focused on my health I eat more vegetables and whole grains, for example steamed greens and roasted sweet potatoes.

× My favorite food is. Pork biscuit I love eating pork and pork brisket is my favorite because it's savory, it's tangy, it's meaty, and I believe it's.

✓ My favorite food is pork brisket. I love eating pork; pork brisket is my favorite because it is savory, tangy, and meaty.

Original contains a fragmented sentence ('My favorite food is.') and a noun error ('Pork biscuit' likely intended 'pork brisket'). Run-on and punctuation issues also occur. Fix by combining into clear sentences, correcting the noun, using proper punctuation and parallel adjective forms. Suggestion: complete the predicate after 'is', use consistent noun, separate independent clauses with a period or semicolon, and keep adjective list parallel. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× When I was young, I like eating fast food.

✓ When I was young, I liked eating fast food.

The time expression 'When I was young' sets the action in the past, so the past tense 'liked' is required rather than present 'like'. Use past simple for habitual past actions. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Fast food was always the go to place for my family when we have our holidays, our days off and fast food was a comfort food for me.

✓ Fast food was always the go-to place for my family when we had our holidays or days off, and fast food was a comfort food for me.

Mixes past ('was') with present ('have'); maintain past tense 'had' for consistency. Also needs hyphen in 'go-to' and better conjunctions. Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent tense in a single sentence. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× It reminds me of childhood and the.

✓ It reminds me of my childhood.

Sentence ends abruptly with a dangling 'the' and lacks a complete noun phrase. Remove the extra word and include possessive 'my' to make the reference clear. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× So what I do on summer I like eating savory food.

✓ So in summer I like eating savory food.

Use the preposition 'in' with seasons ('in summer'), and restructure for natural English: place the time expression before the clause. The verb 'like' in present is acceptable for habitual present actions. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× On winter I like eating soup and a lot of dishes that are hot.

✓ In winter I like eating soup and many hot dishes.

Use 'in winter' not 'on winter'. Replace 'a lot of dishes that are hot' with 'many hot dishes' for conciseness and natural adjective placement. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× It did when I was a child. I'd like eating fast food.

✓ Yes, it did when I was a child. I liked eating fast food.

'It did when I was a child' is acceptable but 'I'd like eating fast food' is incorrect: 'I'd' (I would) is wrong here; use past simple 'I liked' to describe past habitual actions. Ensure consistency of tense. Also expand 'Yes' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× However, as a career man who is now thinking about health, I like eating vegetables now.

✓ However, as a career man who now thinks about his health, I eat vegetables now.

Mixes 'is now thinking about health' (awkward progressive) with 'I like eating vegetables now' (present habitual). Prefer 'now thinks about his health' for clarity and 'eat vegetables now' or 'now eat more vegetables' to show present habitual change. Also add possessive 'his' for 'health' to be natural. Alternatively keep 'I like eating vegetables now' but change preceding clause to 'who now thinks about his health'. Grammar problem type ID: 13