Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence naming one or two favorite dishes, then give one or two specific supporting details (ingredients, occasion, or why you like them). Avoid long uncertain explanations and filler words. Also correct dish names and pronunciation: e.g., 'Murgh margo/Marag' or explain briefly. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: My favourite food is Indian cuisine, especially biryani and Chicken 65. I love biryani for its fragrant rice and rich spices, and Chicken 65 because it’s spicy and crispy. For example, I often eat biryani at family gatherings because it feels festive and satisfying.

提案: Good personal detail and enthusiasm—make it more concise and use clearer linking. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add a specific reason or memory using a linking word like 'because' or 'for example'. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrasing ('made-up of').

例: As a child, I loved simple breakfasts such as cornflakes, choco cereals and muesli because they tasted great and felt healthy. For example, I would rush to the cupboard every morning to grab a packet before school.

提案: Answer more directly to the seasonal aspect first. If you don’t change food by season, say that, then explain your actual habit of exploring cuisines and give a specific example of seasonal dishes or occasions. Use linking words like 'however' or 'therefore' to connect ideas and avoid listing without structure.

例: Not really — I don’t follow seasonal menus much. However, I do enjoy trying different international cuisines throughout the year; for example, in winter I often eat hot soups from Japanese restaurants, while in summer I prefer light Thai salads.

提案: Be clearer and avoid unclear words ('conflicts' seems incorrect). Start with a direct statement that your tastes have changed, then give specific contrasts (examples of childhood foods vs current favourites) and a concise reason. Remove hesitations and repetitions ('I I', 'yeah').

例: Yes, my tastes have changed. As a child I preferred simple cereals and homemade dishes, but now I often choose burgers, pizza and other Italian foods because I enjoy stronger flavours and variety.

× I like to eat Indian cuisine the most, and in Indian cuisine, my favorite food is biryani chicken 65 and Murgh marg is a kind of special soup which is made by boiling the mutton at very low temperature for a standard, uh, three hours of time.

✓ I like to eat Indian cuisine the most, and in Indian cuisine my favorite foods are biryani, Chicken 65, and Murgh marg, which is a kind of special soup made by boiling mutton at a very low temperature for about three hours.

Errors: missing commas and articles, incorrect use of 'the' before 'mutton' and 'very low temperature', awkward 'for a standard three hours of time'. Suggestion: Use plural 'foods' for multiple items, capitalize dish names, remove unnecessary definite article before uncountable 'mutton', include 'a' with 'very low temperature', replace 'for a standard, uh, three hours of time' with 'for about three hours' for natural phrasing.

× When I was a child I used to enjoy cornflakes, choco's and Muesli the most.

✓ When I was a child I used to enjoy cornflakes, Chocos, and muesli the most.

Error: 'choco's' incorrectly uses an apostrophe; it's a plural, not possessive. 'Muesli' should be lowercase unless brand. Suggestion: Remove apostrophe and use correct capitalization.

× I remember I immediately used to get up and open the cupboard and jump in to take the packet and I really liked the kind of ingredients it was made-up of.

✓ I remember I would immediately get up, open the cupboard, grab the packet, and I really liked the ingredients it was made of.

Errors: 'used to' with 'remember' is awkward; 'jump in to take' is unnatural; 'made-up of' is incorrect. Suggestion: Use 'would' for habitual past within a memory, use 'grab' instead of 'jump in to take', and 'made of' for composition.

× It was very healthy yet delicious and I totally enjoyed it.

✓ It was very healthy yet delicious, and I really enjoyed it.

Minor issue: 'totally enjoyed' is informal and 'totally' less natural here. Suggestion: Use 'really enjoyed' for more natural phrasing.

× Well, I did not remember what different foods I ate throughout the year.

✓ Well, I do not remember what different foods I eat throughout the year.

Tense mismatch: The question asks about current habits; 'did not remember' is past. Suggestion: Use present 'do not remember' or, if meaning past, 'did not remember' but context implies current recall so present is better.

× I have many cafes in my city which are opening with different cuisines like Korea, Asian, Japanese and for that matter Thai food as well.

✓ I have many cafes in my city that offer different cuisines like Korean, Japanese, Asian, and Thai food as well.

Errors: 'which are opening with' is incorrect; use 'that offer'. Use correct adjective forms: 'Korean' not 'Korea'. Order and grouping improved.

× Yes, I believe my favorite food has changed because in my childhood I used to enjoy, as I told you, conflicts and usually, but now I really like to hog onto burgers, pizzas and more of Italian cuisine.

✓ Yes, I believe my favorite food has changed because in my childhood I used to enjoy, as I told you, cornflakes and muesli, but now I really like to eat burgers, pizzas, and more Italian cuisine.

Errors: 'conflicts' is likely a mispronunciation/typo for 'cornflakes'; 'hog onto' is incorrect collocation. Suggestion: Replace with correct food names and use 'eat' instead of 'hog onto' or 'hog on'.

× I feel that I I have developed the taste buds a bit more and yeah, the preferences keep changing.

✓ I feel that I have developed my taste buds a bit more, and my preferences keep changing.

Error: repeated 'I' and unnatural 'the taste buds' and 'yeah' filler. Suggestion: Remove repetition, use 'my taste buds' and omit informal fillers for clarity.