Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答有明确观点，但语言重复、语法和句子结构混乱，且超过必要长度。建议：1) 开头先给出一句清晰的主题句，如“My favourite drink is bubble tea.” 2) 使用连接词简洁展开原因，例如“because”或“when”。3) 避免重复表达（如“very, very”或多次说“stress”），注意时态和主谓一致（例如“I feel stressed”而不是“feel very stressful”）。4) 控制在3-4句内，保持自然且流畅。

例: My favourite drink is bubble tea because it’s very popular in Taiwan. I often drink it when I feel stressed because the creamy texture and sweet flavour help me relax. For example, after a long day at work, a cup of bubble tea calms me down and cheers me up.

提案: 回答内容清楚但时态混用严重且表达重复。建议：1) 使用过去时描述童年喜好（I liked…）。2) 用一两个具体例子并简要说明原因，避免冗词。3) 使用连接词如“because”或“so”保持逻辑连贯。4) 精简为2-3句，注意词汇多样性（例如“simple treats”代替重复“very, very simple candy”）。

例: When I was young, I liked simple treats such as chocolates and lollipops. I preferred these because I found complicated dishes unappealing as a child, and sweets always made me happy.

提案: 回答有季节性对比，但存在语法错误和重复（例如“not only make not only stay warm”）且表达不够简洁。建议：1) 用简单句清楚对比夏季和冬季食物（In summer… In winter…）。2) 用正确短语（cool me down, warm me up, reunite with friends）。3) 使用连接词如“because”或“so”并避免多余重复。4) 保持句子在3-4句以内。

例: Yes. In summer I usually eat ice cream because it cools me down in hot weather. In winter I prefer to have hot pot with my high school friends because it keeps us warm and gives us a chance to catch up.

提案: 回答表达朴素但语法、时态和词汇混乱（例如“When I'm in childhood”应为“When I was a child”）。建议：1) 清晰对比过去与现在，使用正确时态（I liked… / Now I prefer…）。2) 避免填充词（uh）和重复短语。3) 用更恰当词汇描述现在的偏好（luxurious meals → more diverse meals or hearty meals）。4) 控制在3句内并给出具体例子。

例: Yes, it has. When I was a child I liked candies such as chocolates and lollipops. Now I prefer more diverse meals like hot pot or spaghetti because they are more satisfying and sociable to enjoy with friends.

× My favorite food is bubble tea and which is very popular in Taiwan And the reason is that whenever, whenever I feel very stressed, very feel very stressful after not drinking a cup of bubble tea with the very creamy textures.

✓ My favorite drink is bubble tea, which is very popular in Taiwan. The reason is that whenever I feel very stressed and haven't drunk a cup of creamy bubble tea, I feel more tense.

句中存在连词使用不当与从句连接错误。“and which”不能直接连接前面的主句，应改为非限制性定语从句“which is very popular in Taiwan”，并用句号分开两句。句子中有重复和不自然的表达（“whenever, whenever”，“very feel very stressful”，“after not drinking”），需简化为“whenever I feel very stressed and haven't drunk a cup of creamy bubble tea”。建议：每次表达一个完整想法，避免重复词，使用合适的从句连接词。

× And that was make me very, very relaxed and calm myself down, for example, after I doing the job.

✓ That makes me very relaxed and calms me down, for example, after I finish work.

原句时态混乱且动词形式错误。“was make”应为单数现在时“makes”以与一般现在陈述常态相符；“calm myself down”在这里更自然为被动受词结构“calms me down”。“after I doing the job”语法错误，应改为“after I finish work”或“after doing my job”。建议：根据习惯行为使用一般现在时，注意主语与动词的一致并使用正确的动词形式。

× I like the various kind of candies and for example, chocolate or lollipop.

✓ I liked various kinds of candy when I was young, for example chocolate or lollipops.

“the various kind of candies”量词和单复数使用错误，应为“various kinds of candy”或“various candies”。时态应与“when I was young”一致，使用过去式“liked”。建议：使用“various”后跟复数名词或“kinds of + noun”，并保持时态一致。

× And the reason is that because I'm a child and I don't like, I didn't like the various kind of complicated cuisines.

✓ The reason is that when I was a child I didn't like complicated dishes.

“the reason is that because”重复使用连词冗余，应使用“the reason is that”或“because”。“I'm a child”与接下来过去时矛盾，应改为“when I was a child”。“various kind of complicated cuisines”中量词和名词选择不当，改为“complicated dishes”。建议：避免连词重复，保持时态一致，使用地道名词搭配。

× So I just like the very, very simple candy that just makes me feel very, very happy.

✓ So I just liked very simple candy that made me feel very happy.

时态应与回忆性陈述一致使用过去式。重复使用“very, very”和“just”显得冗余。将“that just makes me feel”改为过去式“that made me feel”。建议：保持句子简洁，避免重复副词，确保时态一致。

× Yeah, in summer I would like to eat an ice cream because you can call me down during the very hot weather, but in the winter time I would like to eat the hot pot with my high school friends.

✓ In summer I like to eat ice cream because it cools me down in hot weather, but in winter I like to eat hot pot with my high school friends.

“would like to”用于表愿望或假设，这里描述习惯性行为应使用一般现在时“like to”。“an ice cream”可简化为“ice cream”。“you can call me down”是不正确的表达，改为“it cools me down”。建议：描述常态用一般现在时，使用正确的固定搭配（cool down）。

× That is because you can not only make not only stay warm but also give me approach to have a conversation to reunion with my friends.

✓ That's because it not only keeps me warm but also provides an opportunity to have conversations and reunite with my friends.

原句代词“you”不恰当，应使用“it”指代“hot pot”。“make not only stay warm”语序和结构错误，应为“not only keeps me warm”。“give me approach to have a conversation to reunion”词汇和搭配不当，改为“provides an opportunity to have conversations and reunite”。建议：注意代词指代对象，用恰当动词短语表达“提供机会”。

× When I'm in childhood, I would like, I would like to eat candies, very, very simple candy like chocolate or lollipop.

✓ When I was a child I liked candies, simple ones like chocolate or lollipops.

“When I'm in childhood”时态和表达错误，应为“When I was a child”。回忆过去应使用过去时“liked”。避免重复填充词“would like, I would like”。建议：用地道短语“when I was a child”，使用过去时描述过去习惯。

× But with my age growing, uh, I need uh, I would like to eat a very luxurious meals like going to going to the hot pot or going to eat a spaghetti.

✓ But as I grew older, I wanted to eat more luxurious meals, like going to a hot pot restaurant or eating spaghetti.

“with my age growing”表达不自然，应为“As I grew older”。“I need... I would like”重复且时态混乱，应改为过去式“wanted”。“a very luxurious meals”数一致错误，应为“more luxurious meals”。“going to going to”重复，“a spaghetti”冠词错误，应为“spaghetti”或“a plate of spaghetti”。建议：使用自然短语表达年龄变化，注意单复数和冠词搭配，避免填充词。

× And that was make me feel very happy to eat.

✓ And that made me feel very happy when I ate.

“was make”语法错误，应为过去式“made”。“to eat”不符合语境，改为时间状语结构“when I ate”或“eating it made me happy”。建议：保持过去时一致，使用正确动词形式和时间从句。