Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words, and avoid repetition. Use slightly more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'carbohydrates' instead of 'carbs', 'seasoned well' instead of 'seasoned right'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: My favourite food is chicken with rice. I eat it often because the chicken provides lean protein for my workouts, while the rice gives easily digestible carbohydrates. Also, when the chicken is seasoned well it tastes great, and I usually drink water with it.

提案: Avoid repetition and improve grammar and coherence: open with a clear past-tense topic sentence, then add specific sensory details and one brief reason why it was memorable, using linking words. Combine short fragments into full sentences.

例: When I was young I loved my mother's homemade lasagna. She spent hours preparing rich tomato sauce and layering pasta, meat and cheese, so it was deeply flavorful. I especially remember the golden, bubbling cheese on top because it made every bite comforting.

提案: Be more precise and reduce fillers: state your main idea directly, then give one or two concrete examples of seasonal foods and use linking words like 'however' or 'for example'. Correct minor vocabulary errors (e.g., 'Easter' and 'small snacks').

例: Not really; my core diet stays the same year-round. However, I do eat some seasonal foods—for example, we have special cookies at Christmas and different sweets at Easter—so only small changes occur during holidays.

提案: Provide a clear contrast and use correct word forms: start with a direct yes/no and a reason, then contrast past and present with linking words like 'whereas' or 'now'. Fix word choice ('practicality' instead of 'practicability') and avoid sentence fragments.

例: Yes, my preferences have changed. Whereas I used to choose foods mainly for taste when I was younger, now I prioritise practicality and nutrition—for instance, I pick meals that are quick to prepare and support my fitness goals.

× My favorite food would be chicken with rice because I work out a lot and I need the protein in the chicken and the rice is good for carbs and more other things as well.

✓ My favorite food would be chicken with rice because I work out a lot and need the protein in the chicken, and the rice is good for carbs and other nutrients as well.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing 'more other things' and unnecessary repetition 'I need the protein' after 'and'. Also the coordination of clauses benefits from removing the extra subject 'I' for parallelism and replacing 'more other things' with 'other nutrients' for clarity. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms and use precise nouns.

× Also it tastes very good if it's seasoned right and with that I would probably just have some water, nothing else.

✓ Also, it tastes very good if it is seasoned right, and with that I would probably just have some water, nothing else.

Sentence needed a comma after 'Also' and full form 'it is' is preferred in formal speech; this improves clarity. The structure 'with that I would probably just have some water' is acceptable but adding commas clarifies the clauses. Suggestion: use commas to separate introductory words and clauses and avoid contractions in formal responses.

× I like lasagna a lot, especially the one my mom made.

✓ I liked lasagna a lot, especially the one my mom made.

The question asked about the past ('when you were young'), so the verb should be in past tense. 'Like' should be changed to 'liked' to match the time frame. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time reference given in the question.

× It was really really good and she took a lot of time making the sauces and then stacking the different ingredients up and cooked it a long time so it was well done.

✓ It was really, really good; she spent a lot of time making the sauces, stacking the different ingredients, and cooking it for a long time so it was well done.

Use of 'took a lot of time making' is informal; 'spent a lot of time making' is clearer. The verbs need parallel structure: 'making', 'stacking', and 'cooking' should be coordinated. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: maintain parallel -ing forms and use 'spent' for time expressions.

× Was really really delicious.

✓ It was really, really delicious.

This sentence fragment lacks a subject. Adding 'It' completes the sentence. Also add commas for emphasis. Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb.

× Especially the cheese on top was great.

✓ The cheese on top was especially great.

The adverb 'especially' is better placed before the adjective it modifies ('great') and the sentence reads more naturally when reordered. Suggestion: place adverbs close to the words they modify.

× Not really, I mean there are definitely foods that are more eaten around Christmas or eastern, but my base diet stays pretty much the same around the whole year except for some little small like snacks for example.

✓ Not really. I mean there are definitely foods that are eaten more around Christmas or Easter, but my basic diet stays pretty much the same throughout the year, except for a few small snacks, for example.

Problems: 'more eaten' should be 'eaten more' for correct word order; 'eastern' is the wrong word for the holiday 'Easter'; 'base diet' is better as 'basic diet'; 'around the whole year' should be 'throughout the year'; 'some little small like snacks' is ungrammatical—use 'a few small snacks'. Suggestion: use correct word order for adverbs, correct holiday name, and appropriate prepositions like 'throughout'.

× Could change during different holidays.

✓ It could change during different holidays.

This is a sentence fragment missing a subject. Adding 'It' (referring to 'my diet') completes the sentence. Suggestion: include the subject when making short sentences.

× Yes, I think it's due to my change in focus of the food.

✓ Yes, I think it's due to my change in focus regarding food.

Use 'regarding food' or 'in my focus on food' for natural phrasing. 'Change in focus of the food' is awkward and ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'regarding' or 'in' with 'focus' and avoid 'of the food'.

× My focus now lies more on practability and how fast can I make it.

✓ My focus now lies more on practicality and how quickly I can make it.

Use the noun 'practicality' rather than 'practability' (spelling) and the adverb 'quickly' instead of the adjective 'fast' in this clause; also change word order to a statement ('how quickly I can make it') rather than a question. Suggestion: use correct noun forms and place adverbs correctly; ensure clause word order matches a statement.

× What do I get out of the food instead of only taste.

✓ What I get out of the food instead of only the taste.

Sentence fragment and pronoun/structure issue: as part of the statement, it should be 'what I get out of the food instead of only the taste.' Add 'the' before 'taste' and change to a noun clause. Suggestion: avoid question word order inside a statement and include articles where needed.

× So when I was younger I was more focusing on the taste, now also on what it does to my body.

✓ So when I was younger I focused more on taste; now I also focus on what it does to my body.

Use simple past 'focused' for the past part and simple present 'focus' for the current habit. 'Was more focusing' is an incorrect progressive use; prefer 'focused'. Also split into two clauses with appropriate tenses. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and simple present for current habits; avoid unnecessary progressive forms for stative verbs.