Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the food, then give one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

例: My favourite food is burgers. I enjoy them because of the crispy French fries that often come with them and the juicy beef patty. Also, I often eat them when I’m relaxing and watching TV, which makes them a comforting treat.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about what you liked, and provide specific examples and reasons. Avoid unclear words and irrelevant phrases. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct tense for past habits.

例: When I was young, I liked to eat simple homemade food, such as rice with vegetables and small snacks from school. For example, my parents often packed sandwiches and fried snacks, which I enjoyed because they were tasty and easy to eat at school.

提案: Give a structured answer with a topic sentence about seasonal or occasion-based eating, then give specific examples and a reason. Use linking words (for example, for instance, because) and avoid contradictory or irrelevant details.

例: Yes, I eat different foods at different times of the year and for special occasions. For instance, during Diwali and Raksha Bandhan I usually eat a lot of traditional sweets like laddoos and barfi. In contrast, in summer I prefer lighter foods such as salads and fruit because they are refreshing.

提案: Answer directly with a clear comparison between past and present preferences. Use past and present tenses correctly and give one or two specific examples of foods you liked then and now, using linking words like however or now.

例: Yes, my favourite foods have changed. As a child I loved French fries and potato snacks, but now I prefer healthier meals like grilled chicken and salads because I care more about nutrition.

× My favorite food is burger because I like to eat potatoes that was in the tiki of the burger, so that's why I like to eat and I like to eat French fries in my free time whenever I I'm watching the.

✓ My favorite food is a burger because I like the potatoes that were in the bun of the burger, and I also like to eat French fries in my free time while I am watching TV.

Errors: missing article before 'burger' (use 'a burger'); incorrect singular/plural and verb agreement 'potatoes that was' should be 'potatoes that were'; wrong noun 'tiki' likely meant 'bun'; run-on sentence and missing conjunctions; awkward repetition 'I like to eat and I like to eat'. Suggestion: use appropriate articles ('a' for a countable noun), match plural nouns with plural verbs, replace unknown word with correct noun, join clauses with conjunctions or punctuation, and avoid repetition. Use 'while I am watching TV' for clarity.

× OK, that is amazing question. I like to eat please in my Ave. and I was young and mostly my parents brought me the school craze etcetera. So like to aid these types of food when I'm I'm free.

✓ OK, that is an amazing question. When I was young I liked to eat sweets at home, and mostly my parents brought me snacks from school. So I used to eat these types of foods when I was free.

Errors: missing article 'an' before 'amazing question'; tense inconsistency 'I like to eat' vs 'I was young' — use past tense 'liked' for childhood; unclear phrases 'please in my Ave.' and 'school craze' likely intended 'sweets at home' and 'snacks from school'; 'like to aid' is incorrect verb usage; repeated 'I'm I'm'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense when talking about childhood, choose clear vocabulary, correct verb forms ('used to' for habitual past actions), and remove repetitions.

× Yes, and different occasions. I like to eat different foods and foods in different occasions like Diwali, I like to eat sweet foods. Raksha Bandhan, I like to eat sweet foods mostly. I probably used to eat potatoes because I want to gain my weight, so that's why.

✓ Yes, on different occasions I eat different foods. For example, during Diwali and Raksha Bandhan I mostly eat sweets. I used to eat a lot of potatoes because I wanted to gain weight.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'in different occasions' should be 'on' or 'during' occasions; repetition 'I like to eat different foods and foods'; tense mismatch 'I probably used to eat' then 'because I want to gain my weight' should be past 'wanted' to match 'used to'. Suggestion: use 'during' for festivals, avoid repetition, keep tenses consistent (past for past habits), and use 'gain weight' without 'my'.

× Yes, when I was a child, I like to eat these potatoes, fries, etcetera. When the time begins that when the age increment, my age increases. I like to eat different foods at the different age. So that's why I like to eat different.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to eat potatoes and fries. As I got older, my age increased and I began to like different foods at different ages. That's why my preferences changed.

Errors: tense inconsistency: 'when I was a child' requires past tense 'liked' not present 'like'; awkward phrasing 'when the time begins that when the age increment' should be 'as I got older'; redundancy 'my age increases' unnecessary; 'at the different age' should be 'at different ages'. Suggestion: use past tense for past events, use natural phrases like 'as I got older' or 'as I grew up', and avoid redundancies.