Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant words and fix grammar (e.g., 'the fragrant aroma, spicy rice, and vegetables create a rich, satisfying flavour').

例: My favourite food is chicken biryani. I love it because the fragrant aroma and aromatic spices make it very appetising, and the tender chicken and colourful rice together create a rich, satisfying flavour.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and specific examples. Remove filler words and correct grammar (e.g., 'When I was a child, I liked sweets'). Use linking words to add details, such as types of sweets and why you liked them.

例: When I was a child, I really liked sweets from West Bengal. For example, I often ate rosogolla and sandesh because they were soft and not too sugary, and my family bought them for festivals.

提案: Answer directly and provide clear seasonal examples with correct vocabulary. Avoid hesitations and unclear words ('MO hot mammoths' is unclear). Use linking words (for example, 'in winter' and 'in summer') and explain briefly why you prefer those foods.

例: Yes, I eat different foods depending on the season. In winter, I prefer hot dishes like soups, spicy snacks and hot tea because they keep me warm. In summer, I enjoy cooling foods such as mangoes, watermelon and salads to stay refreshed.

提案: Give a clear statement about change, correct grammar and provide reasons for the change. Replace unclear words ('Pisces Biri biryani') with the correct name and add one or two reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'now'.

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed since childhood. I used to prefer sweets, but now I prefer savoury dishes such as chicken biryani because I enjoy stronger flavours and more balanced meals.

× I have many favorite foods but chicken biryani is one of my top dishes.

✓ I have many favorite foods, but chicken biryani is one of my top dishes.

Add a comma before the conjunction 'but' to separate independent clauses. No article change needed; sentence otherwise fine. Suggestion: use punctuation to improve clarity.

× I love it because the fragrant aroma and oil, spicy colorful rice is there vegetable create a rich and satisfaction flavor.

✓ I love it because the fragrant aroma, the oily, spicy, colorful rice, and the vegetables create a rich and satisfying flavor.

Multiple adjective and noun phrases are incorrectly ordered and some word forms are wrong. 'Oil' should be 'oily' to modify rice, 'vegetable' should be plural 'vegetables', and 'satisfaction' should be the adjective 'satisfying'. Also add articles 'the' and commas to list items. Suggestion: ensure adjectives precede nouns and use correct adjective forms (oily, satisfying).

× You know what, I am from West Bengal and West Bengal is famous for sweets When I was young girl is that time my uh, one of my favorite food uh was sweets.

✓ You know, I am from West Bengal, which is famous for sweets. When I was a young girl, one of my favorite foods was sweets.

Run-on sentence and incorrect noun forms. Add relative clause 'which is famous for sweets', include articles 'a young girl', pluralize 'foods', and remove filler words. Suggestion: break into two sentences and use correct articles and plural forms.

× I love sweets too much.

✓ I love sweets very much.

'Too much' implies excess or a negative judgement; 'very much' correctly expresses strong liking. Suggestion: use 'very much' for emphasis on liking.

× There are in West Bengal lots of sweets is available like.

✓ There are many sweets available in West Bengal, such as ...

Incorrect word order and missing phrase completion. Place 'in West Bengal' after 'available' or use 'available in West Bengal'. Use 'many' as quantifier and 'such as' to introduce examples. Suggestion: use 'many sweets available in West Bengal, such as...' and complete the examples.

× Yes, I'll, I love to eat different food at different time.

✓ Yes, I love to eat different foods at different times.

Unnecessary 'I'll' and wrong singular/plural forms. Remove 'I'll' because present habitual tense is required. Use plural 'foods' and 'times'. Suggestion: use simple present for habits and match plural nouns.

× Uh, especially in winter time, I love to eat MO hot mammoths, hot coffees and some kind of hot, uh, fast food.

✓ Especially in winter, I love to eat hot snacks, drink hot coffee, and eat some kinds of fast food.

Several incorrect words: 'winter time' -> 'winter' or 'wintertime'; 'MO hot mammoths' is unintelligible so replaced with 'hot snacks'; 'hot coffees' should be 'hot coffee' as an uncountable noun; use 'some kinds of fast food' for plurality. Suggestion: use clear vocabulary and correct countability.

× But, uh, in, uh, summertime, I love to eat mangoes and some fruit and, and only normal food.

✓ In summertime, I love to eat mangoes and other fruits, and otherwise I eat simple food.

Awkward repetition and 'some fruit and, and only normal food' is unclear. Replace with 'other fruits' and 'simple food' to convey normal meals. Suggestion: avoid fillers and use clear conjunctions to contrast seasons.

× Yes, my favorite food is totally change because when I was a child at this time my favorite food was sweet but recently my one of my favorite food is Pisces Biri biryani because.

✓ Yes, my favorite food has totally changed. When I was a child, my favorite foods were sweets, but recently one of my favorite dishes is chicken biryani.

Tense and noun form errors: 'is totally change' should be present perfect 'has totally changed' to link past and present; 'was sweet' -> 'were sweets' (plural); 'one of my favorite food' -> 'one of my favorite dishes'; 'Pisces Biri biryani' appears to be a mistaken phrase; corrected to 'chicken biryani'. Also remove trailing 'because' or complete the clause. Suggestion: use present perfect to describe change over time and match plurals.