Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence naming your favourite food, then add one or two specific supporting details (why you like it, a memory). Keep it natural, avoid filler words and repetition, and use linking words for coherence.

例: My favourite food is pani puri, a spicy and tangy street snack. I love it because of the combination of crunchy shell, spicy filling and tangy water, which reminds me of eating it with my family at festivals. For example, every summer my cousins and I would buy pani puri from a local vendor after school, and that memory makes it especially comforting.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence (name the food you liked). Provide specific reasons and use linking words to connect ideas. Reduce repetition and avoid unclear phrases. Use precise descriptive vocabulary (e.g. smoky flavor, tangy tomato sauce).

例: When I was young, I loved eating pizza. I especially enjoyed the smoky flavor from the oven and the variety of toppings like pepperoni and mushrooms, which added texture. Also, the melted cheese and tangy tomato sauce made it my favourite quick meal after school.

提案: Answer directly and organize ideas with linking words (e.g. ‘in winter’, ‘in summer’). Be specific about dishes and avoid unclear or mispronounced names; if a dish name is unfamiliar, briefly describe it. Keep sentences concise and within five sentences.

例: Yes, I change what I eat depending on the season. In winter I often eat hot dishes like matar paneer, which is a warm peas-and-cheese curry, because it keeps me warm. In the rainy season I enjoy sweet corn or pakoras as snacks, and in summer I eat a lot of ice cream or fresh fruits to stay cool.

提案: This answer is clear and direct. To improve, add one specific reason and a brief example or memory using linking words (e.g. ‘because’, ‘for example’). Avoid repeating the same idea and keep sentences varied.

例: No, my favourite food has not changed; it is still pani puri. I love its burst of flavours—spicy, tangy and sweet—because each bite is a mix of textures and tastes. For example, whenever I visit my hometown, I always stop at my favourite street stall where the pani puri reminds me of family gatherings and festivals.

× Thank you with all you can say is comfort food is fine.

✓ Thank you; all I can say is that comfort food is fine.

The original sentence has an unclear structure and missing function words. This is a sentence structure error (type 26). Insert conjunction 'that' and reorder to 'all I can say is that...' and add punctuation to clarify meaning. Suggestion: use 'All I can say is that...' to introduce a statement.

× Query remember this, uh, child, I used to eat it daily and uh, I, I still, I couldn't eat the whole family because my mouth was too small, but uh, yeah.

✓ I remember this from my childhood: I used to eat it daily, and I still do; I couldn't eat a large portion because my mouth was small, but it reminds me of those years.

Multiple problems: unclear pronoun 'Query', wrong pronoun references and awkward phrases are present (type 12 and 26). Replace 'child' with 'childhood', change 'it' references to clear nouns or 'it' that refers to the food, and correct tense and wording. Use 'I still do' instead of fragmented 'I, I still'. Clarify 'couldn't eat the whole family' which is nonsensical; change to 'couldn't eat a large portion'.

× It reminds me of about years when I'm having this.

✓ It reminds me of the years when I used to have this.

Incorrect word order and tense (type 26). 'about years' is incomplete; use 'the years' and match past habitual action with 'used to have'.

× Grew little younger.

✓ When I was younger,

Fragment lacking subject and verb and incorrect form (type 26). Use a full clause 'When I was younger,' to introduce a past-time statement.

× I remember I used to eat pizza a lot.

✓ I remember that I used to eat pizza a lot.

Missing conjunction 'that' is stylistic but acceptable; this suggestion adds 'that' to improve clarity. This relates to past tense usage (type 5) because 'used to' indicates past habit; ensure surrounding structure supports it.

× I love pizza other time.

✓ I love pizza at other times.

Incorrect adverbial phrase (type 13). 'Other time' should be 'at other times' to indicate different occasions.

× And that smoky flavor, the topping, the seasoning.

✓ I love the smoky flavor, the toppings, and the seasonings.

List needs parallel nouns and plural forms where appropriate (type 13). Make nouns parallel and pluralize 'topping' and 'seasoning' to match general reference.

× I want to go drizzling cheese cream.

✓ I want to drizzle cheese and cream over it.

Incorrect use of gerund/participle and word choice (type 8). 'Go drizzling' is unnatural; use 'drizzle' with direct object and 'cheese and cream' as items. Ensure correct verb form after 'want to'.

× I'm out home.

✓ I'm out of the house.

Incorrect phrase and preposition (type 26 and 11). 'Out home' is ungrammatical; use 'out of the house' or 'not at home'.

× But I just love the flavor, the whole pizza. I just love pizza.

✓ But I just love the flavor of the whole pizza; I really love pizza.

Stylistic repetition and slight structure issue (type 26). Combine and smooth phrases; add 'of' to clarify 'flavor of the whole pizza' and vary wording to avoid repetition.

× Today I choose my food according to the season change.

✓ Today I choose my food according to the change of seasons.

Awkward noun phrase and preposition use (type 12 and 11). Use 'change of seasons' or 'seasonal changes' for natural wording and correct preposition order.

× Every year I I eat the mutter to karate during winters and sweet corn rain days and ice cream in summers I eat.

✓ Every year I eat matar paneer during winter, sweet corn in the rainy season, and ice cream in summer.

Multiple errors including repetition, wrong vocabulary ('mutter to karate' likely 'matar paneer'), tense and word order (types 5, 26, 11). Remove duplicate 'I', use correct dish name, correct season nouns ('winter' not 'winters'), and put items in parallel list form.

× Absolutely not.

✓ Absolutely not; it has not changed.

Short answer is grammatical but adding a follow-up completes the response to the question. This suggestion improves clarity (type 26).

× My favorite food remains the same.

✓ My favorite food remains the same.

This sentence is correct in present tense (type 6); no change needed. Explanation: 'remains' correctly agrees with singular subject 'food'.

× It is pani Puri.

✓ It is pani puri.

Capitalization is stylistic; content is correct. Ensure consistent lower-case 'pani puri' unless treated as a proper noun. No grammatical error (type 12).

× It is very close to my heart and I choose that.

✓ It is very close to my heart, and I choose it.

Pronoun reference 'that' is awkward; use 'it' to refer back to 'pani puri' (type 12). Also add a comma before 'and'.

× I don't want to forget the taste of the pani Puri and it is so nostalgic for me.

✓ I don't want to forget the taste of pani puri; it is very nostalgic for me.

Minor punctuation and capitalization issues (type 26). Use semicolon or separate sentences for clarity and consistent lowercase 'pani puri'.