Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the food and one or two concise reasons or habits. Reduce hesitations and incorrect grammar. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct verb forms. Keep to 2–3 sentences and include a specific detail (when/how you eat it).

例: My favourite food is bani, a traditional snack in my town. I eat it every morning before school because it is filling and easy to prepare, so it helps me start the day with energy.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about what you liked, then give a concise reason and a short consequence. Use correct tense (past) and reduce repetition and hesitations. Use linking words like because and so to connect ideas and give a specific health reason.

例: When I was a child, I loved sweets and candy. However, my mother stopped me from eating them because they caused toothaches and could lead to weight gain.

提案: Answer directly and give 1–2 specific seasonal examples with clear linking words (for example, in summer / in winter). Use correct nouns and avoid unclear words. Keep sentences short and coherent.

例: Yes. In summer I eat a lot of fruits like oranges and watermelon because they are refreshing. In winter, I prefer warm, creamy dishes such as porridge or soup to keep warm.

提案: Give a clear statement whether it changed, then explain briefly why with specific reasons (health, taste). Use correct tense and grammar, avoid filler words, and use linking words like because/so. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, it has changed. As a child I loved candy, but I don't eat it now because it causes weight gain and other health problems, so I prefer healthier snacks like fruit.

× My favorite food is Bani that is the popular food in the dance, uh, and it also or three fruit.

✓ My favorite food is Bani; it is a popular dish in the region, and it also contains fruits.

The sentence has article and word choice errors: 'the popular food' should be 'a popular dish' because unspecified; 'in the dance' is likely incorrect phrase—changed to 'in the region' to make sense; 'or three fruit' is unclear and corrected to 'contains fruits'. Use semicolon or conjunction to connect clauses.

× So I ate it every day.

✓ I used to eat it every day.

The context refers to a habitual past action; 'ate' is simple past and acceptable but 'used to eat' more clearly expresses past habitual action. Use 'used to' for repeated past habits.

× I have, uh, eat it as a preferred, uh, before I go to the school.

✓ I used to eat it as my preferred breakfast before I went to school.

Multiple errors: tense and verb form ('have eat' is incorrect; use 'used to eat'); article use ('the school' should be 'school' in general context); word order and choice ('preferred' should be 'preferred breakfast' or 'preferred food'). Ensure past tense consistency for past events.

× When I was the children, I was really like candy, but my mother banned me to eat it.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked candy, but my mother forbade me to eat it.

Pronoun/noun form: 'the children' should be 'a child'. Verb forms: 'was really like' is incorrect—use 'really liked'. 'Banned me to eat' is incorrect collocation; use 'forbade me to eat' or 'did not allow me to eat'.

× Uh, it's the makers it make me it ha occurs many health problem, uh, and you lead to uh, possibility.

✓ She said candy causes many health problems and can lead to other risks.

Original is ungrammatical and fragmented. Reconstruct sentence: use subject 'candy' or 'it', verb 'causes', plural 'problems', and express consequence 'can lead to other risks'. Keep clear subject-verb-object structure.

× Of course, such as in the seminary, I ate many fruit like orange, watermelon, or.

✓ Of course. For example, in the summer, I eat many fruits like oranges and watermelon.

Tense and word errors: 'seminary' is incorrect word—likely 'summer'. Use present tense 'eat' for habitual present. Plural 'fruits' and plural nouns 'oranges'.

× Or grass.

✓ Or grapes.

Likely mispronunciation: 'grass' should be 'grapes'. Use correct noun to match context of fruits.

× But, uh, in the winter, our winter, our friend eat cream.

✓ But in winter, my family eats cream desserts.

Subject and verb mismatch: 'friend eat' is incorrect; choose appropriate subject 'my family' or 'we' and conjugate verb 'eats' or 'eat' accordingly. Clarify 'cream' as 'cream desserts' for natural phrasing.

× Yeah, of course. Uh, that is candy.

✓ Yes, of course. It was candy.

Pronoun and tense: 'that is candy' should be 'it was candy' to refer back to favorite food in childhood (past). Use past tense for childhood.

× When I was the children, I was really like candy and I can't eat it every day, but now I have to because they make me, uh, factor it make me overweight so and uh, is to sugar.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked candy and I could eat it every day, but now I can't because it made me gain weight due to its sugar content.

Multiple issues: 'the children' -> 'a child'; verb forms and tense consistency: 'was really like' -> 'really liked'; 'can't eat it every day' mismatches with past—use 'could eat'; later contrast requires present 'now I can't'. Use 'made me gain weight' (past effect) and 'due to its sugar content' for clear cause. Remove unclear fragments like 'factor' and 'is to sugar'.