Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details (taste, ingredients, or why you enjoy it). Avoid redundant phrases and correct grammar (e.g. use 'which is' correctly).

例: My favourite food is pho, a Vietnamese noodle soup. I love its fragrant broth and fresh herbs, and I often eat it because it’s comforting and can be adapted with different meats or vegetables.

提案: Use correct tense and a clearer topic sentence. Replace informal or awkward phrases and add a brief specific detail about why you liked it. Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

例: When I was a child, I loved eating French fries. I used to ask my mother for a pack almost every day because they were salty and easy to eat as a snack.

提案: Avoid filler words (obviously, kinda, yeah). Give a clear direct answer, then use linking words (for example, in spring/summer) and specific examples of seasonal foods. Fix grammar and word order.

例: Yes. In spring I tend to eat more fresh fruit like strawberries and mangoes, while in summer I prefer cold dishes and iced drinks, such as salads and smoothies to stay cool.

提案: Use correct comparative structures and avoid awkward phrasing. Start with a clear statement, then give a reason and a specific example of what you choose now. Keep sentences natural and grammatical.

例: Yes, it has. As a child I ate a lot of fast food and sweets, but now I prefer healthier meals, such as grilled fish and steamed vegetables, because I’m more conscious of my health.

× My favorite food I would say is Pho, which is a Vietnamese cuisine is a very delicious and I can enjoy eating it every day.

✓ My favorite food, I would say, is pho, which is a Vietnamese dish; it is very delicious and I could enjoy eating it every day.

The original sentence has run-on and awkward structure: 'My favorite food I would say is Pho' needs commas for clarity. 'Vietnamese cuisine is a very delicious' is ungrammatical because 'cuisine' as a noun here should be replaced with 'dish' or rephrased and cannot be followed by 'is' twice. 'Can enjoy' fits, but 'could enjoy' is more natural for a habitual, hypothetical preference. Suggest breaking into two clauses or using punctuation to separate ideas and choosing the correct noun ('dish') and modality ('could') for natural phrasing.

× Once I was a child, I love eating French fries.

✓ When I was a child, I loved eating French fries.

The time phrase 'When I was a child' indicates past time, so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Love' (present) conflicts with the past time reference; change to 'loved'. Also 'Once I was a child' is awkward; 'When I was a child' is the standard expression.

× At that time, I asked my mom to buy me a pack of chips every day.

✓ At that time, I asked my mom to buy me a pack of chips every day.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable and consistent in tense: 'asked' matches the past-time frame. No change needed. (Included for completeness under past tense category.)

× Yes, obviously, because I'm kinda a picky eater and yeah, when spring comes I want to eat fruit and in the summer I prefer something fresh and icy more.

✓ Yes, obviously, because I'm kind of a picky eater. When spring comes, I want to eat fruit, and in the summer I prefer something fresh and icy.

Colloquial fillers 'kinda' and 'yeah' are informal; use 'kind of' in semi-formal speech. The sentence is long and needs splitting into two sentences for clarity. 'Prefer something fresh and icy more' redundantly uses 'prefer' and 'more'; remove 'more'. Add commas after introductory time phrases for correct punctuation and clarity.

× Yes, when I was young I preferred eating fast food and candies more, but nowadays, the more I grow, the more healthier I want to be.

✓ Yes, when I was young I preferred eating fast food and candy, but nowadays, the more I grow, the more I want to be healthy.

There are multiple issues: 'candies' is better as uncountable 'candy' in this context. 'Preferred' is correct for past taste. 'The more healthier' is ungrammatical: comparative 'more' cannot be used with the comparative adjective 'healthier'; use 'healthier' alone or 'more healthy' (but 'healthier' preferred). Also 'the more I grow, the more I want to be healthy' is clearer than 'the more healthier I want to be.' Fix word order to 'want to be healthy.'