Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid run-on sentences and tense inconsistencies.

例: I really like ice cream, and my favourite flavour is strawberry. When I was small, my mother used to take me to the local ice cream shop, where I enjoyed choosing different flavours.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and one clear reason or contrast using correct grammar. Use linking words like 'however' to show change over time.

例: When I was young, I loved sweet foods such as ice cream and chocolate. However, as I grew up I started eating more healthily, so I now avoid sweets most of the time.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct small grammar mistakes, and use linking words for examples. Be specific about timing and avoid short fragments at the end.

例: Yes, I eat different foods at various times of the year. For example, during Chinese New Year my family and I eat turnip cake and taro cake, and during the Mid-Autumn Festival we eat mooncakes.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating phrases. Use past and present tenses correctly and provide one concise reason for the change.

例: Yes, my favourite food has changed since childhood. I used to eat a lot of sweets like chocolate and ice cream, but now I try to eat more vegetables and whole foods because I want to be healthier.

× My favorite food is definitely ice cream and my favorite flavor is strawberry and I'm when I was small my mother always brought me to the ice cream shop to let me choose the flavor I like.

✓ My favorite food is definitely ice cream, and my favorite flavor is strawberry. When I was small, my mother always brought me to the ice cream shop and let me choose the flavor I liked.

This sentence has run-on and tense consistency problems (Sentence structure errors, ID 26). It incorrectly mixes present 'I'm' with past events and lacks proper punctuation. Split into two sentences, change 'I'm when I was small' to 'When I was small', and use past tense 'liked' for the choice made in the past. Use commas to separate clauses and 'and let me choose' for proper verb sequence.

× Ice cream, chocolate or sweets. Definitely sweet food I've loved when I was young, but when I grow up I like to eat more healthier so I avoid eating so much sweet food.

✓ Ice cream, chocolate, or sweets. I definitely loved sweet food when I was young, but as I grew up I tried to eat more healthily, so I avoided eating so much sweet food.

Multiple tense and adverb/adjective errors (Present tense issue ID 6 and adjective/adverb ID 13). 'I've loved when I was young' mixes present perfect with a past time phrase; change to simple past 'I loved'. 'When I grow up' should be past 'as I grew up'. 'More healthier' is incorrect (double comparative); use 'more healthy' or better 'healthier' and use adverb 'healthily' for 'eat more healthily'. Ensure verb tenses are consistent.

× Yes, I eat a variety of food at different times of the years. For example in Chinese New Year I eat turnip, carrot cake and tarot cake with my family and in the mid autumn festival I eat mooncakes. So depends on different festival.

✓ Yes, I eat a variety of foods at different times of the year. For example, at Chinese New Year I eat turnip, carrot cake, and taro cake with my family, and at the Mid-Autumn Festival I eat mooncakes. It depends on the festival.

Errors include singular/plural and article/preposition misuse (Singular and plural issue ID 1 and Incorrect use of prepositions/articles ID 11/17). Use 'a variety of foods' and 'different times of the year' (singular). Prepositions: 'at Chinese New Year' and 'at the Mid-Autumn Festival'. 'Tarot' is likely misspelling of 'taro'. Final fragment 'So depends on different festival' is incomplete; change to 'It depends on the festival.'

× Yes, my favorite food have changed since I was young. When I was a child I loved to eat sweet food like chocolates, ice cream. But when I grow up I know that it is not a healthy food, so my diet tends to become more healthy when I grow up.

✓ Yes, my favorite food has changed since I was young. When I was a child, I loved to eat sweet foods like chocolate and ice cream. But as I grew up, I realized that they are not healthy foods, so my diet tended to become healthier.

Subject-verb agreement and tense issues (Subject-verb agreement ID 27 and Past tense issue ID 5). 'Food have changed' should be 'food has changed'. Use plural 'sweet foods' or uncountable 'sweet food' consistently. 'When I grow up' should be past 'as I grew up' and 'I know' -> 'I realized'. Use comparative adjective 'healthier' not 'more healthy'. Maintain past tense throughout because speaking about past change.