Food— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and pronouns, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two linking phrases to connect reasons and a brief detail about frequency. Be specific about how often you eat them and correct small errors (e.g., “makes” → “make”, “to read myself to them” is unclear).

例: My favourite food is fruit, especially grapes, because they are sweet and refreshing. However, I only buy them occasionally because they are quite expensive, so I usually eat them once or twice a week as a treat.

提案: Focus on past tense consistency and coherence. Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “because”, “and”, “so”). Remove unclear fragments (e.g., “hazards dessert”, “go to the fruits. Biking”). Clarify activities and why they were enjoyable. Keep it under five sentences.

例: When I was young, I loved strawberries because they were sweet and easy to eat. I often had them as a dessert after school, and sometimes my family and I would go fruit-picking at a nearby farm, which was fun and relaxing.

提案: The answer is incomplete and does not respond to the question. Provide a full sentence addressing seasonal variation and add one specific example with a linking word (e.g., “for example”, “because”). Use present simple for habits. Keep it concise and relevant.

例: Yes, I do. For example, I eat more fresh berries and salads in summer because they are refreshing, while I prefer soups and stews in winter because they are warm and comforting.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about whether your favourite food changed, use consistent tense, and explain briefly why with a specific example. Correct grammar (e.g., “I’m able to eat ramen” is unclear; use “I can eat ramen now” or “I enjoy ramen now”). Avoid filler words like “Yeah” at the end.

例: My favourite food has changed slightly: as a child I preferred sweet snacks, but now I enjoy savoury dishes like ramen because I appreciate stronger flavours. I still like sweet treats sometimes, but I don't eat snacks as often as I did before.

× I like fruits in general and I particularly enjoy grapes because they are sweet and makes me feel relaxed.

✓ I like fruit in general and I particularly enjoy grapes because they are sweet and make me feel relaxed.

Subjects and verbs must agree: 'fruit' as an uncountable noun is more natural than 'fruits' in general statements, and the plural subject 'grapes' requires the base verb 'make' (not 'makes'). Use singular 'fruit' for general preferences and match verb form to plural subject.

× I don't eat them very often though because they are quite expensive so I usually to read myself to them.

✓ I don't eat them very often though because they are quite expensive, so I usually treat myself to them.

The phrase 'to read myself to them' is incorrect; the correct idiom is 'treat myself to them'. Also add a comma before 'so' when joining independent clauses. Remove extraneous 'to' and use 'treat' followed by 'myself to' + object.

× I like strawberry when I was a kid I often eat strawberry hazards dessert and I sometimes I I go I went to the fruits.

✓ I liked strawberries when I was a kid. I often ate strawberries as dessert, and sometimes I went to the fruit market.

When talking about past habits, use past tense verbs: 'liked' and 'ate' instead of present. Use plural 'strawberries' for general reference. The original sentence contains word duplication and unclear noun 'hazards'; replace with 'as dessert'. Break into two sentences for clarity and correct noun 'fruit market' for 'to the fruits'.

× Biking and makes me relaxed.

✓ Biking makes me feel relaxed.

Remove the extra 'and' and use the verb phrase 'makes me feel relaxed' for natural English. 'Feel' is needed to express the sensation; ensure subject-verb agreement: 'Biking' (singular gerund) takes 'makes'.

× Finish.

✓ No, I sometimes eat different foods at different times of the year.

Single word 'Finish' does not answer the examiner's question. Provide a full sentence that fits the question. Use 'sometimes' and present tense for habitual actions, and construct a complete response rather than a fragment.

× Yes, but it's not a big change if I have to say I'm able to eat ramen.

✓ Yes, but it's not a big change: I can eat ramen now.

Use a clear present ability modal 'can' for habitual ability ('I can eat ramen now'). The original phrase 'if I have to say I'm able to eat ramen' is awkward and wordy. Simplify to express the idea directly.

× But I like snacks when I was a kid, so now I'm not very often eat snacks, Yeah.

✓ But I liked snacks when I was a kid, so now I don't eat snacks very often.

When referring to past preference, use past tense 'liked'. For negative present habit, use 'don't eat' with adverb 'very often' after the verb. Place adverb correctly and avoid switching tenses within the sentence.